05/13/2019
A tragic event such a forgetting a child in a car is something that can happen to anyone. It is preventable. Please read.
This week, the Greater Vancouver area was shook when a Burnaby toddler died after being left hot in a car for hours. It's hard not to read the harsh comments online. But, before you jump to a place of judgement, please step back and consider: have you ever felt 'spaced out' since having children?
Yesterday, a participant in my class asked me to briefly talk about the incident this week in Burnaby. At first I was taken aback because I wasn't really sure what to say other than, "that was really tragic, wasn't it?" I then realized I had an opportunity to ensure everyone took a moment to view the situation from a place of empathy.
Parenting is a hard job - one that places a lot of physical and mental stress on all of us. I have had multiple occasions, driving along in my vehicle, where I'll shout to my children in the backseat only to realize, oh, they're not there - I'm out by myself! It can just as easily happen in reverse.
When you have children, not just your life, but your identity as well, undergoes a major transformation. For many of us, this transition includes hours of unscheduled free time during the week now becoming highly structured, jam-packed schedules. We become creatures of habit as a coping mechanism. All it takes is one small change in that pattern to completely throw you off-center. Do I talk to an empty back seat on a regular basis? No. But have I done it multiple times when my schedule has been interrupted somehow? Absolutely.
Children being forgotten in a hot car isn't something that is limited to a certain type of parent. ALL PARENTS are capable of forgetting a child in a hot car. The good news is that this is preventable, if you take a moment to expand that highly-structured schedule you have become accustomed to include one more failsafe. Here are some examples of ways to prevent this from happening to your family:
▪ Always leave something in the backseat that you absolutely require before you can leave the vehicle. For example, this can simply be a bag or purse, a shoe, or your cell phone.
▪ If you have a care provider for your child, ensure they have a policy in place to phone you if you don't drop your child off by a certain time.
▪ Do a full-circle walk around of your vehicle every time you park, to ensure everyone is out before you press the lock button on your remote.
▪ Place a stuffed animal in your child's car seat when it's empty. When they're in the car seat, toss the stuffed animal into the front seat to remind you there's a child in the back.
Do you have a particular ritual that you practice to ensure your children aren't left in the car? Let us know in the comments.