
09/14/2025
☕“Coffee in bed” sounds trivial. In an ashram, it becomes something else entirely.
📿 New post: No Coffee in Bed: The Subtle Trials of Ashram Discipline.
Full text below.
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In a discourse delivered to Western visitors in the early 1990s at Prashanthi Nilayam, his ashram in the searing climate of South India, Swami Sathya Sai Baba remarked that adaptation itself is spiritual growth. He was not referring to heroic renunciations but to the ordinary adjustments imposed by ashram life: cramped quarters, rising before dawn, sattvic food, and the absence of indulgences such as coffee in bed. What to many appeared as petty inconveniences, he numbered amongst the crucibles of transformation.
The observation may appear disproportionate. How could the discomfort of four to a room or the loss of morning comforts matter for spiritual life? Yet to dismiss such conditions as trifles is to miss their function. They operate as subtle trials of the ego, exposing its reliance on habit, preference, and entitlement. For Swami Sathya Sai Baba, as for ascetic traditions across Asia, the capacity to adapt without resentment or complaint was not incidental to practice but integral to it.
🔍 Ashram Reality vs. Western Fantasy
Accounts of traditional ashram life frequently disappoint those who arrive with Western expectations. A newcomer to Prashanthi Nilayam did not encounter a palm-fringed retreat with restorative amenities but a highly regimented environment. Lights extinguished early, chanting before dawn, collective schedules that erased individual preference. Three or more people to a small room, limited personal space, and meals served without fanfare.
These conditions were not contrived as artificial obstacles. They reflected the manner in which many people in India lived: modest housing, communal quarters, simple food, and routines shaped by collective rather than individual choice. What appeared to a Westerner as deprivation was, within the local context, ordinary life.
It was precisely the contrast that rendered adaptation potent. Visitors arriving from spacious homes, private routines, and the expectation of personalised comfort, even luxuries such as coffee served in bed, suddenly had to surrender those assumptions. What was unremarkable in India became, for them, an adjustment that revealed the hidden tenacity of habit and entitlement. The adjustment itself was the lesson.
This reality stands in stark opposition to the Western fantasy of the ashram as a tropical refuge, a sanctuary of personal restoration. The very word has been absorbed into the marketing of retreats in North America and Europe, where it often connotes wellness tourism rather than rigorous discipline. Rooms are private, food is organic, schedules are flexible, and discomfort is treated as a design flaw.
This is not harmless confusion. It is distortion. A distortion that comforts the consumer while hollowing out the tradition.
🔍 Adaptation as Pedagogy
In Swami Sathya Sai Baba’s remark, adaptation was not endurance but pedagogy. Each small trial functioned as an instructional device, designed to expose hidden attachments. Rising at three in the morning, one unaccustomed may meet fatigue and protest. Sharing a room, one might encounter irritation at noise or the loss of privacy. Being denied coffee in bed, one confronts craving disguised as routine.
In my first stay at one of his ashrams, the mind circled obsessively around images of North American KitKats. The absurdity was itself instructive. Attachment disclosed its tenacity not in some grand temptation but in something as trivial as confectionery withdrawal. What matters is not the inconvenience but the revolt of the ego. To sit quietly and observe the orbit of that revolt is one of the real tasks of training.
The body adapts swiftly, but the ego lingers, resentful. To persist through such conditions is to discover that identity need not be anchored to preference.
This insight was not unique to Swami Sathya Sai Baba. In the Yoga Sutra of Patañjali, austerity (tapas) is enumerated as a central discipline precisely because it grates against the comfort-seeking mind. In the Buddhist Vinaya codes, simplicity of lodging and diet was prescribed not only for ethical purity but as deliberate friction against preference. Adaptation was framed as a direct means of loosening the compulsions of the ego.
🔍 Comparative Traditions of Austerity
The same pedagogical structure can be traced across traditions, though its form differs. S. N. Goenka’s Vipassanā centres, spread across the world, impose silence, rigid timetables, plain food, and ten-hour days of meditation. Here austerity is deliberate, codified into the design of the retreat. The practitioner’s threshold of comfort is tested until it gives way, revealing that craving and aversion can be observed rather than obeyed.
In the Tibetan tradition, Milarepa’s Hundred Thousand Songs describe long retreats in mountain caves, living on nettles until his skin turned green. Hunger and cold, he wrote, were not obstacles but teachers.
Christian monasticism codified similar principles. The Rule of St Benedict, written in the sixth century, required common dormitories, modest food, early rising, and shared labour. These were not lifestyle enhancements but disciplines intended to break the sovereignty of preference.
The Stoics of antiquity articulated the same insight in secular form. Seneca urged his students in the Letters to Lucilius to spend days eating the coarsest food and sleeping on the ground, asking themselves: “Is this what I feared?” The point was not the glorification of deprivation but the cultivation of freedom from dependence.
Across these examples, the pattern holds. In the ashram, discomfort emerged from cultural normality that confronted Western expectation. In monastic and meditative systems, it was intentionally codified as part of training. In both cases, adaptation was the hinge by which the ego was exposed and growth became possible.
🔍 The Micro-Attachments of Ego
It is tempting to assume that spiritual work lies chiefly in confronting dramatic attachments such as wealth, ambition, or status. Yet the ego often hides more effectively in the micro-attachments: the morning ritual, the preference for space, the small comforts that stabilise one’s sense of self. These are harder to discern precisely because they appear trivial.
Triviality is one of the disguises under which ego conceals itself most effectively. This is where the ego hides in plain sight.
No coffee in bed stands as shorthand for this level of trial. It is not about caffeine but about the ego’s tacit conviction that such minor comforts are its entitlement. To adapt to their absence is to expose and undo the silent contracts the self forges with its surroundings. Each micro-attachment loosened is a knot of identity released, even if the tightening soon returns. Spiritual growth, in this frame, does not unfold through spectacular feats but through the cumulative labour of adaptation, thousands of small surrenders to conditions exactly as they are.
🔍 The Modern Stakes
If comfort is allowed to redefine the tradition, then the practice has already failed.
The stakes of this distinction are not merely personal but cultural. As traditions continue to be extracted from the East and transplanted into Western settings, they are reshaped by market logics that privilege comfort. The danger is not simply appropriation in the sense of borrowing forms, but appropriation in the sense of amputating functions. What once disrupted ego’s hold has been inverted into rituals of reassurance, stripped of the very friction that gave them force.
Comfort has its role. It enables some to begin who might otherwise never approach practice at all. Yet when comfort becomes the organising principle, the transformative edge is blunted. Adaptation gives way to accommodation, and the discipline that shaped practitioners for centuries is dissolved.
This is why adaptation, so unglamorous and so uncomfortable, might be pivotal to certain outcomes. It marks the threshold where the integrity of the tradition is either preserved or erased. Without adaptation when needed, spiritual practice can collapse into lifestyle management. With it, the possibility of transformation remains intact.
🔍 The Trial of No Coffee in Bed
The absence of coffee in bed, the cramped quarters, the early rising, the silence: all these may appear as inconveniences, trivial in themselves. Yet they stand amongst the crucibles of practice. They strip away habit, confront entitlement, and disclose the extent to which peace is ordinarily hostage to circumstance. Swami Sathya Sai Baba’s observation, that adaptation itself is growth, was neither rhetorical nor ornamental. It named the discipline at work in such details.
Modern retreat culture, by contrast, constructs comfort as insulation. The conditions that once exposed ego are remodelled as amenities that protect it. The result is a spirituality of ease: calm without transformation, wellness without liberation. The rigorous ashram insists otherwise. It refuses comfort as principle and makes adaptation the medium of pedagogy.
No coffee in bed is not deprivation. It is instruction. It signals the point at which ego loosens, preference falters, and a different register of freedom comes into view.
Anyone can be calm in comfort. The trial is whether one can turn discomfort into practice.
© Kim U-Ming, 2025. Originally published on Medium and Substack. This work is part of a larger body of thought. Please do not excerpt, reframe, or republish without express written permission.