Mike Mathers - Wellness Evolved Counselling

06/21/2025

02/01/2025

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06/29/2024

❤️‍🔥On Being Love Warriors❤️‍🔥

“For even as love crowns you so shall it crucify you. Even as love is for your growth so is love for your pruning. Even as love ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall love descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.” ― Khalil Gibran
 
The journey of a Love Warrior begins with embracing our sensitivity as a superpower. Many who face mental health challenges do so because they feel deeply, and this depth of feeling can also lead to profound compassion and kindness.

Our culture often teaches us to suppress our emotions and sacrifice our authenticity to maintain attachments. Gabor Maté highlights this toxic cultural dynamic. Recognizing that there is nothing wrong with feeling deeply is the first step in transforming our pain into a source of strength. This requires safety and the development of skills to navigate and express these emotions.

Being a Love Warrior is a lifelong journey. It’s about using our human machinery in the service of love, not fighting against it. This path is about owning our sensitivity and leading with it. A Love Warrior is a leader of the heart, always striving to meet each gesture as a call for love.

This doesn’t mean tolerating abuse or lacking boundaries. Instead, it means responding from a place of love even when hurt by life. It’s about listening to the wisdom inherent in our pain, using it to guide us back to ourselves.

In our toxic culture, we often forget to love ourselves. Love Warriors remind us of our worth and potential. They hold us big, seeing what we can become and loving us through our shortcomings. This work requires fierce love, integrity, and constant self-reflection.

The journey from head to heart is the Love Warrior’s path. It is about rediscovering our worth and creating communities of care. Lift each other up in this work, reach out for support, and offer it. Together, we can create a network to catch those falling through the cracks of our culture.

Let’s embrace our potential as Love Warriors by showing up to our suppressed pain so we can serve together and light a path for all.

06/26/2024

Don’t hate the mirror… Reflect on the reflection. 💭🪞💭

In the theatre of life, our relationships often act as mirrors, reflecting the parts of ourselves we might struggle to face. When someone triggers us, it’s not just them we’re reacting to, but echoes of past hurts and unmet needs.

Curiosity is our compass here. Instead of resenting these mirrors, we can ask ourselves: “Who hurt me in a similar way before?” This inquiry helps us see that our emotional reactions often stem from deeper, older wounds.

Take a step back. Reflect. When we feel anger, frustration, or pain towards others, it’s often our own undigested emotions begging for attention. By being curious about these feelings, we transform our relationships into opportunities for profound self-awareness and healing.

Polishing the mirrors of our minds involves clearing the smudges left by years of undigested pain. It’s about rediscovering the vibrant self-worth that belongs to each of us. Adopting a stance of curiosity means remaining face-up in the tumultuous sea of pain, rather than sinking into the mire of rumination and self-criticism.

This process involves actively engaging with our internal narratives, catching ourselves in moments of self-flagellation, and flipping the script. It’s about tracing the breadcrumbs back through our past, identifying moments of perceived unworthiness, and understanding how these moments shape our current behaviours. It means acknowledging when fear of unworthiness drove us to disconnect from the present.

Living more effectively involves harnessing this dual reflection, being ruthlessly curious about the interplay between our internal and external worlds. Leaning into discomfort with understanding that each reflection is a clue on the treasure map of self-discovery.

So, don’t hate the mirror. Reflect on the reflection. Use these moments to understand yourself better, and you might just find that the clarity you gain allows you to love yourself, and others, a little more deeply.

Stay curious, friends. 🧠❤️

06/20/2024

Feelings are not facts.

Yet we are wired to believe our feelings are facts. Acting on them might feel good temporarily, like a quick fix, but this often buries the pain in the backyard of your mind, like a twisted zombie burial ground.

Before making sense of your feelings, you need to let them be irrational.

Just because you feel something doesn’t make it true or justify your actions. It’s tempting to let emotions guide your decisions, but that’s a surefire way to crash and burn.

We need to be willing to feel the pain, to sit with it and resist reacting impulsively. Cry, grieve, do whatever it takes to let it out. Not feeling your feelings and treating them as facts when they’re disconnected from reality—that’s what’ll really mess you up. Research shows that suppressing emotions can lead to physical illness. has some mind-blowing insights about the science on this. Check him out.

As we dive into self-discovery and emotional regulation, let’s not blindly buy into every thought our minds sell us. Filter them through the lens of curiosity. Dig deep, uncover the true source of your distress, and see the bigger picture.

Our pain is rarely caused by one single thing. It’s a twisted, overdetermined mass of causes. Resisting it only increases the tension and inflames the inner pain.

So, repeat after me: Feelings are not facts. But they can point you in the right direction. You can’t hide your feelings, and if you try, they’ll hide you from yourself. Let your authentic self shine through and prevent those feeling zombies from wreaking havoc in your mind’s backyard.

If you’re ready to embrace and explore your emotions, join us. Download our free guide to finding the right therapist today, and if you feel aligned with one of our therapists, sign up for a discovery call with us. Let’s journey together toward a deeper understanding of your emotional world.

06/18/2024

The opposite of judgment isn’t non-judgment; it’s curiosity.
🤔
One of our Wellness Evolved community members recently had a game-changing epiphany. They realized that in their intimate relationships, they were often self-righteous, convinced they knew what was right. This habit threw up barriers and blocked genuine connection.

Then came the lightbulb moment. They decided to ditch judgment and embrace curiosity. This shift transformed their relationships. By genuinely wondering about their partner’s thoughts, feelings, and perspectives, they unlocked a deeper, more compassionate way to connect. Curiosity let them ask open-ended questions, listen deeply, and appreciate the richness of their partner’s experiences.

This change wasn’t just about better relationships; it was about emotional transformation. Curiosity kept them present, reduced their knee-jerk reactions, and nurtured a more mindful, empathetic approach. It’s not about finding instant answers; it’s about exploring the amazing complexity of human experience.

Ready to swap judgment for curiosity? Dive into the magic of being Curious AF with us at Wellness Evolved. Download our free guide to finding the right therapist. If one of our therapists resonates with you, sign up for a discovery call. Let’s start this journey of curiosity and connection together.