03/04/2026
Let’s talk about weight.
About women's bodies.
About resistance.
About the impacts of trauma on the body.
And how trauma informed therapy can support healing and safety in your body.
I’m drawn to this topic because of the patterns I continue to witness, in clients, in women’s stories, and in the quiet honesty of private conversations. Highly capable women who understand nutrition. Women who are disciplined, informed, motivated and yet feel stuck. Women who have tried every diet, every reset, every plan and still feel like their bodies are betraying them.
When we slow down and look beneath the surface, there is often a history of stress, instability, or trauma shaping the physiology underneath.
Clinical research supports what many practitioners observe. Individuals diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD) and complex trauma are significantly more likely to experience obesity and metabolic dysfunction. The landmark Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study), conducted by the CDC and Kaiser Permanente, demonstrated a graded relationship between early adversity and adult obesity. The more categories of childhood trauma a person experienced, the higher their likelihood of severe obesity later in life.
(Noting not all women with obesity of weight struggles have experienced trauma, this evidence outlines the greater likeliness).
This is not about willpower.It is about adaptation.
When safety, reliability, and nurturance are inconsistent in childhood, the nervous system adapts for protection. Neural pathways strengthen around vigilance. The body becomes wired for survival. Chronic activation of the stress response elevates cortisol, alters insulin sensitivity, and disrupts appetite hormones such as leptin and ghrelin. Over time, this chemistry increases fat storage and intensifies cravings for calorie-dense foods.
Children living with emotional instability often discover ways to self-soothe. Food is accessible and neurologically effective. Highly palatable foods stimulate dopamine and serotonin, temporarily calming stress responses. Over time, emotional eating or binge eating can become a learned regulation strategy not a flaw, but a protective response.
As women age, another layer is added.
Perimenopause and menopause shift estrogen, progesterone, and insulin dynamics. If the nervous system has spent decades cycling through fight-or-flight states, the body may already be depleted. Add years of dieting and restriction which themselves elevate stress hormones and slow metabolism. Add a culture saturated with before-and-after images. Add messaging that ties thinness to worth and youth to desirability.
Many of these standards were inherited long before we had the capacity to question them. They are shaped by patriarchy, consumer culture, and industries that profit from insecurity. Over time, we internalize them as truth.
When the body does not feel safe, it prioritizes survival over weight loss.
So what if the question shifted?
Instead of asking,“How do I lose weight?”
What if we asked,“How do I create safety in my body?”
Healing can include:
Trauma-informed therapy (such as somatic therapies, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, (CBT) or Internal Family Systems (IFS) to process stored trauma and re-pattern protective responses.
Inner child healing, gently reconnecting with the younger parts of you that adapted for survival. When those parts feel seen and supported, protective behaviors often soften.
Nervous system regulation practices (breathwork, grounding techniques, restorative or strength-based movement) to shift from chronic fight-or-flight into states of safety and connection.
Stable, nourishing eating patterns instead of restriction, emphasizing consistency and blood sugar stability to reduce physiological stress.
Medical evaluation for hormone and metabolic shifts especially during perimenopause and menopause.
Community support because shame isolates, and regulation co-regulates.
Moving away from a shame based narrative to one rooted in self compassion.
And alongside nervous system healing, we can dismantle beliefs that do not support us.
We can name the lies that were never ours.We can question the idea that shrinking equals safety. We can untangle thinness from morality. We can rebuild our beliefs intentionally. We can define our own standards instead of subscribing to someone else’s prescription. We can become our own safety net. The pain many women carry is not purely personal. It is communal. Intergenerational. Systemic.
Bodies are not problems to be solved. They are nervous systems asking for safety.
When safety increases, regulation improves. When regulation improves, behaviours shift more sustainably. Weight may change or it may not but the relationship to the body does.
Ending the war on our bodies does not mean giving up. It means choosing a different strategy. Healing is not about forcing the body into submission. It is about teaching it that the war is over.
An Invitation
If you recognize yourself in these patterns, you are not broken. Your body has been protecting you.
This is an invitation to move from punishment to partnership.
From control to compassion.
From inherited beliefs to chosen ones.
From fighting your body to finally feeling at home inside it.
For active support please reach out to charlotte@soarellawellness.com
https://www.soarellawellness.com/post/the-impacts-of-trauma-weight-and-safety-ending-the-war-on-our-bodies
