Vaughan Counsellors

04/27/2026

What do you reach for when you’re feeling sad or a little low 🙂
For me, it’s something simple and comforting — applesauce. My small way of soothing myself.
What about you?
Food, tea, a walk, music, a blanket, quiet time…? Share your comfort ritual — and if you’d like, post a photo in the comments.
Also, feeling sad or emotionally low (I’m not talking about clinical depression) is part of being human. Often, it’s our heart’s response to something not unfolding the way we hoped, or to the realization of a loss — big or small.
Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is pause for a day, allow ourselves to acknowledge what was lost, be gentle with ourselves, and then thoughtfully consider what comes next.
What helps you find your footing again? 💛

02/03/2026

I have always liked the mountains, but only a couple of years ago this feeling grew into a deep and almost personal attachment. Since then, every time I look at the mountains, the world around me seems to change. And together with it, my inner world changes as well.
Someone might jokingly say that mountains are just folds of stone on the surface of the planet. But for me, these “folds” have a special, almost magnetic quality. There is something deeply captivating about them. In their vastness and stillness, I am reminded that there is something in life that is greater and more enduring than our everyday worries, inner conflicts, and personal struggles.
In the mountains, I feel a particularly strong sense of belonging to the world — as if I am not separate from what is happening around me, not standing outside of life, but quietly and naturally part of it. It is there that a deep, inner calm emerges — not a calm that needs to be created through effort, but one that arises on its own, when the noise fades away and what remains is presence, breath, and a simple awareness of being.
I am deeply moved by the beauty and the grandeur of this creation. In the mountains, I experience a genuine sense of awe, joy, and gratitude — for the opportunity to see, to walk, to feel, and to be. At the same time, the mountains become an honest inner test for me. They invite a quiet but powerful question: can I continue when I am tired, can I stay with myself when the urge to stop becomes strong, and can I support myself precisely in the moments when it feels hardest?
Reaching the summit is not only about physical endurance. For me, it is an inner dialogue. A dialogue about where my limits are, where my resources are, where I need to allow myself to pause — and where I can gently help myself take one more step forward, even when there is a sense inside that I am close to giving up.
Perhaps this is why the mountains resonate so deeply with my work as a psychotherapist. The journey toward oneself is rarely simple or straightforward. It carries its own fatigue, doubts, and moments when it feels as though going further might be impossible. Yet it also holds something profoundly important — the capacity to stay close to oneself, to offer inner support, and to keep moving forward, slowly and with care. One step at a time. Just like in the mountains.

02/23/2025

Your true self is based on your spontaneous, authentic experience, and it makes you feel alive. Your false self, on the other hand, is a defensive facade—it may seem real to others, but it lacks spontaneity and leaves you feeling dead and empty (Winnicott, 1965).

07/18/2024

How to stop comparing yourself to others?

04/17/2024

Close relationships are characterized by high levels of interdependence and are cornerstones in the construction of our self-concepts. In spite of the high cultural value we place on independence in the West, research findings suggest that our interpersonal self may be more fundamental to our self-concept than any inner-directed models of self. Strong, satisfying relationships that are mutually rewarding have the most impact on the sense of self. The better the relationship the greater the relational self-construal, the greater the sense of self-affirmation and self-authenticity. Plainly put, the people we love define who we are (R. Neimeyer).

08/30/2023

"This kind of denial isn't lying as such; it's simply what we humans do when we experience the discomfort of cognitive dissonance. When reality conflicts with our beliefs, we have to either justify or rationalize that reality, or deny it. We try to reduce the 'dissonance' between how we think things should be and how they actually are.

Self-objectivity, and therefore increased self-knowledge, negates the need for denial." Mark Tyrrell

08/26/2023

Erich Neumann’s work, Depth Psychology and the New Ethic, teaches us that war is often driven by the projection of evil onto others. Dr Yoram Kaufmann, a Jungian Analyst from Israel, echoes this point when stating that “the greatest act of evil is the projection of our own evil onto others”.

08/24/2023

05/16/2023

“I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
And if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it cannot be helped.”

(Fritz Perls, 1969, in Gladding, 2000)

07/11/2022

"Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge." Fritz Perlz a 20th century psychiatrist who founded Gestalt therapy in collaboration with his wife, Laura Perls.

11/17/2021

Sometimes having depression you can feel that your life will not be good and joyful never again. It can feel like you are stuck in the mud and no chance to go back. But remember, these feelings are not forever. They can change if you change your environment, do something new, meet your needs and follow your dreams.