11/18/2025
For many trauma survivors, the absence of safety wasn’t a moment…
it was a childhood.
A home where you stayed alert.
A nervous system that never got to settle.
A body that learned survival was the default.
And that’s why “just relax” has never worked. Safety isn’t created through willpower it’s restored through experience.
Research shows that safety returns when the body receives consistent signals that the danger has passed:
• slow exhalations that settle the vagus nerve
• environments that feel predictable, not chaotic
• relationships where your cues are noticed and responded to
• boundaries that protect you from what overwhelms your system
• moments of co-regulation someone being calm with you
• small choices that remind you you’re no longer powerless
Healing is not about pretending you’re fine.
It’s about teaching your body, gently and repeatedly, that it no longer has to live like it used to.
Safety doesn’t come all at once.
It comes in moments.
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