Lauren Millman

01/28/2026

Doing this will change your life. It’s an easy step by step process you can follow, starting today. Right now.

This one change can do more for your life
than any clever reply ever could, or any upping the ante ever would.

If you stopped trying to win arguments,
and started choosing to be calm instead, this is what would happen…

When emotions spike, the goal is simple.
Protect your peace.

Most reactions feel urgent.
Very few, are.

Here is the reframe that can change everything for you.

🧠 Slow yourself down in the moment
-- Pause before you speak.
-- Ask what you are really reacting to.
-- Space weakens the story.

This is power. With this power, they actually have none. You’re not trying to win; You’re attempting to gain control, direction, and calm, for a better outcome for both of you. This kind of power is also helpful, because you’re it only de-escalating the situation and keeping yourself out of emotional deregulation, you’re helping them de-escalate towards a space to converse calmly and effectively.

That’s power.

🎯 Wait. Breathe. Choose your response
-- You do not owe speed.
-- Silence is not weakness.
-- Energy is expensive. Spend it wisely.

🔄 Become an effective leader. Shift the frame, and lead by example
- -Acknowledge and validate.
- -Ask why they feel this way.
-- Offer to explore other issues.
- -Things aren’t often just as as they’re presented.
-- Heat and hot tempers fade.
- -Logic lasts.

🌿 Mind yourself
-- Breathe in calm.
-- Mirror what you heard.
-- Slow your pace.
-- Hold one calm thought.
-- Let the wave pass.

❌ Stop yourself from
-- Over-defending.
-- Blaming yourself.
-- Replaying the moment.
-- Trying to win.

✅ Start
-- Pausing on purpose.
-- Responding with care.
-- Protecting your peace.
- -Getting control FOR them, and you.
-- Moving forward.

💬 Responses to keep ready
-- “Ok, I need a moment to collect my thoughts.”
-- “Let’s pause here for a minute.”
-- “I’m not quite ready yet. Give me 10 minutes.”
-- “I want to hear how you’re feeling.”
-- “I want to solve this.”

Try this today 👇

•Choose calm. Everything else is off the table.
•Breathe, practice waiting, and not reacting.
•Become aware of when you’re triggered, and then ask yourself why.
•Let a nasty comment pass. You can address after or later, kindly and with kindness, in an understanding they were hurtful and to not do it again. (It’s easier to catch bees with honey than poison)
•Don’t proceed until you’ve gotten your own emotions under control.
• Acknowledging and validating them is your best way to also being heard and validated.
• Ask one clarifying question about the outcome or goal they need.
• If this triggers you, go back to the beginning ( breathe, practice waiting, don’t react) and start again.
•You’re in control. you have the ability to control yourself.
•You have the leadership power.
•Empowered is your ally.

Reactions and responses. There is a difference. And they matter.

You can’t control others.

You can always control yourself, and how you respond.

That, is real power.

Your, real power.

01/28/2026

This one change can do more for your life
than any clever reply ever could, or any upping the ante ever would.

If you stopped trying to win arguments,
and started choosing to be calm instead, this is what would happen…

When emotions spike, the goal is simple.
Protect your peace.

Most reactions feel urgent.
Very few, are.

Here is the reframe that can change everything for you.

🧠 Slow yourself down in the moment
-- Pause before you speak.
-- Ask what you are really reacting to.
-- Space weakens the story.

This is power. With this power, they actually have none. You’re not trying to win; You’re attempting to gain control, direction, and calm, for a better outcome for both of you. This kind of power is also helpful, because you’re it only de-escalating the situation and keeping yourself out of emotional deregulation, you’re helping them de-escalate towards a space to converse calmly and effectively.

That’s power.

🎯 Wait. Breathe. Choose your response
-- You do not owe speed.
-- Silence is not weakness.
-- Energy is expensive. Spend it wisely.

🔄 Become an effective leader. Shift the frame, and lead by example
- -Acknowledge and validate.
- -Ask why they feel this way.
-- Offer to explore other issues.
- -Things aren’t often just as as they’re presented.
-- Heat and hot tempers fade.
- -Logic lasts.

🌿 Mind yourself
-- Breathe in calm.
-- Mirror what you heard.
-- Slow your pace.
-- Hold one calm thought.
-- Let the wave pass.

❌ Stop yourself from
-- Over-defending.
-- Blaming yourself.
-- Replaying the moment.
-- Trying to win.

✅ Start
-- Pausing on purpose.
-- Responding with care.
-- Protecting your peace.
- -Getting control FOR them, and you.
-- Moving forward.

💬 Responses to keep ready
-- “Ok, I need a moment to collect my thoughts.”
-- “Let’s pause here for a minute.”
-- “I’m not quite ready yet. Give me 10 minutes.”
-- “I want to hear how you’re feeling.”
-- “I want to solve this.”

Try this today 👇

•Choose calm. Everything else is off the table.
•Breathe, practice waiting, and not reacting.
•Become aware of when you’re triggered, and then ask yourself why.
•Let a nasty comment pass. You can address after or later, kindly and with kindness, in an understanding they were hurtful and to not do it again. (It’s easier to catch bees with honey than poison)
•Don’t proceed until you’ve gotten your own emotions under control.
• Acknowledging and validating them is your best way to also being heard and validated.
• Ask one clarifying question about the outcome or goal they need.
• If this triggers you, go back to the beginning ( breathe, practice waiting, don’t react) and start again.
•You’re in control. you have the ability to control yourself.
•You have the leadership power.
•Empowered is your ally.

Reactions and responses. There is a difference. And they matter.

You can’t control others.

You can always control yourself, and how you respond.

That, is real power.

Your, real power.

11/30/2025

The narcissist, the gaslighter, the bully… they all have one thing in common:

They’re insecure.

They try to exert control
beause they feel they have none

over the things that have happened to them
are happening to them
and the things they want to happenen for them.

They don’t try to destroy you because you did something wrong.

Because you didn’t, you’re not, and you never did.

Reat that again. ⬆️ ⬆️ ⬆️

They’re tearing you down because they did.

When they begin sensing and realizing you’re not affected by them anymore, they’ve lost their control over you.

That same control that acts as a mask to cover up their inabilities, their unresoled issues, and their insecurities, has surfaced, and now, theyre exposed.

And they know it.

Your truth exposes their lies.
Your strength threatens their control.
Your integrity highlights everything they’re trying to hide.

Now, you’ve got all the control, and with right strategies, skills, and techniques, you can start wearing them down.

How you respond to their behaviors, what you say and hiw you say it, is the pathway to stopping them in their tracks, and you getting your life back.

If this resonates, let me know.
If you’d like to learn how, connect with me.

11/09/2025

11/04/2025

How do you handle these? Do you get these text messages from your kids?

Are they actually urgent or do they need something.

This one is from a kid who’s Mom and all the kids are on Life360.

It was urgent.


They needed soap.

10/31/2025

You don’t need to be understood by everyone.

Period.

…That’s not loneliness.

That’s freedom.

There’s a quiet kind of peace that comes when you stop trying to

please everyone

explain yourself

say yes when you really want to say no

be like them and decide to

be like you

An immediate shift and transformation then happens

You realize that your path was never supposed to make sense to anyone else

because it was built from your own battles

your own healing

your own

…Becoming.

Learning how to quietly love yourself more

be sure of yourself

means you’ve started trusting

Yourself

Trusting that your worth isn’t up for debate

Your truth doesn’t need acknowledgement, validation, or translation

and that you are the only one who has to like you, and love you

That you are the only one who truly needs to love who you are

How you are

What you are

That you are comfortable with yourself

And can now acknowledge and validate yourself

Approve of yourself

Without feeling the need of the approval of others

This, is radical self love, self acceptance, self- actualization

And how to live loud, peacefully, heard, empowered

Taking up space

With respect
In respect
With power

In all your Power
In all your Determination
In all your Courage

Because the only one who really needs to care

Is you.

and ethe right people will understand you without you having to lose yourself trying to be heard.

🦋

10/07/2025

Purposeful parenting isn’t about raising soft children.

It’s about raising strong, emotionally aware, confident human beings. 🌱

It begins with positive connection.

Belief in their strengths, not in their perfection.

When your child cries, struggles, or falls apart, it’s easy to think they’re weak. Or looking for an out.
But those moments are not weakness.

It’s overload.

Purposeful parenting means you see beyond the behavior.

You see the overwhelmed and frustrated, scared and anxious child behind the tantrum.

Their own exasperation behind the attitude.

A child who doesn’t need punishment; they need guidance.

When you choose patience instead of yelling,
When you choose to listen instead of lecture,
When you choose to connect instead of control,

You lead by example, teach them what true strength looks like, and show them it’s ok to feel.💞

Because one day, when life challenges them,
they’ll remember how you made them feel, how you supported and helped them, and how you believed in their ability to regulate, calm down, figure out better solutions, create a plan, try again, and feel good about themselves.

They’ll have your voice in their head whispering, You’ve got this. You are strong. You can do hard things.

Purposeful parenting doesn’t mean letting things slide.

It means leading with love and boundaries, not fear and shame.

It means believing in their strength, and abilities, showing them love and understand
even when their emotions are too big for their little hearts to handle.

You are not raising a perfect child.

Read that again.

You’re raising a resilient one.

One who learns how, through your leadership and example.

One who knows how to rise with grace,
because you’ve listened to them, acknowledged them, and kept your cool with them.

Because you believe in them every step of the way, and you know that life is going to throw curve balls challenges and hurdles at them and at you, and the way to get through it is just that.

Through.
Together.

Lend a like if this resonates with you. 👍
Share with your network because maybe they need to hear this too. 🎈
Connect if you’d like to work with me. 🔑

10/06/2025

No one really talks about how messy the in-between feels. Where you’re not who you were, but you’re not who you’ll become.⁠
⁠
You’re just... here.

In the middle.

Not waiting.

Figuring out how to navigate the desert.⁠
⁠
It’s not like you’ve failed. You haven’t.

That doesn’t make it feel any less heavy. You’re just, in the process.⁠ In process.

Doing. Doing something. Doing nothing. Doing.

Being. Feeling. Aware.

Of what might be showing up.

Acknowledging it. Ignoring it. Figuring it out. Sitting with it.
⁠
Confusing? Yes.⁠
Miserable? Kinda.⁠ Yup.

It’s okay to let go of the past calling you back.

The challenge? To quiet down all the old stories and beliefs trying to keep you safe.⁠

Are they true? Or are they just your truth? Your perceptions, feelings and beliefs.

Are they actually true? Can you challenge yourself with that question?

I can challenge you with that question, and we get real deep, to the core, and give it another meaning, another use, or we can work through it so well that it’s not within or in your orbit of meaning, connection, or attachment any more.

Done. Goodbye feeling like a victim and a hostage to your thoughts and beliefs.

Hello control, truth, and your new reality and strong sense of self.
⁠
You can trust the process. Where things fall apart and start to rebuild.⁠
⁠
No rush. Just walk through it one step at a time. Breath by breath. One choice at a time.⁠
⁠
Eventually, you’ll notice, in awesome awareness and clarity, you’re there.⁠
⁠
Until then, be fully here.

Wherever that is for you, because here, is where it all starts.

Connect with me for more, or if you’d like to work with me. 🤝
Lend a like 👍
Share with your networks 🦋

Because someone else needs to hear this. And you can make that happen.

10/06/2025

What if I told you there was an easier way. Where you’re in full control. 💥

Here’s what 22+ years of helping people move through feeling out of control to in control looks like, and what you need to know. This only scrapes the surface, but this little tidbit of information could be the difference for you between letting them, and not letting them.

⚡️ Every emotion only lasts 90 seconds.
That’s neuroscience. Not poetry.

Neuroscience shows the chemical life of an emotion in your body; adrenaline, cortisol, stress chemistry, rises, peaks, and fades, in about a minute and a half.

That’s right. Notice this next time you’re triggered. ⚙️

Ok, so why do we stay angry for hours?
Anxious for days.
Sad for weeks.
Angry for months.
Resentful for years.

Because we keep feeding them. With more thoughts and feelings born out of allowing their behavior to have a meaning to us, to affect us, and to create a personal connection and relationship to how they’re treating us, and how we’re feeling.

What if I told you, you actually have full control over those feelings. 💥

Here’s what you need to know:

➤ Anger doesn’t just stay 90 seconds. It grows when you replay:
“How dare they talk to me like that? I should have said…”

➤ Anxiety stretches for days when you spiral:
“What if I mess this up? What if they find out I’m not good enough?”

➤ Sadness lingers when you loop:
“Why does this always happen to me? Things never work out.”

Here’s where we abate ourselves:

♨️ Instead of letting the wave pass, we pour fuel on it. We feed it with more thought, more anger, and more energy. Now we’re all tied up in it and consumed by it, and it permeates our day.

And suddenly what was designed to move through us in 90 seconds overstays it’s welcome for days. Weeks. Months. Tears.

Here’s the part most people miss:

💯Your brain isn’t trying to torture you. Your brain is protecting you, downloading feelings and emotions and thoughts that are actually bits of information.

‼️ It’s actually sending you a shopping list of needs.

Decode the signal → respond to the need → interrupt the loop.

Here’s what that looks like in practice:
🔹 Angry → needs release
Blast a song and sing (badly, loudly). Vibration calms the storm.

🔹 Anxious → needs grounding
Two rounds of 4 (inhale) -7 (hold) -8 (exhale) breathing. It steals oxygen from spirals.

🔹 Stressed → needs movement
Stress chemistry is physical. Burn it with a 5-minute brisk walk or 60-second dance break.

🔹 Sad → needs perspective
Write 3 gratitudes that are specific and time-stamped (“My son’s laugh at 7:43 this morning”).

🔹 Overthinking → needs clarity
Do a brain dump. Get it all on paper. Then highlight the ONE task that matters, today.

Notice what’s happening here?

You’re not rejecting emotions.
You’re listening to them.
And giving them what they asked for without giving them the keys to the house.

Here’s the truth:

Emotions are uninvited guests.
They knock loudly, rearrange the furniture in your head… and leave.
Unless you feed them dinner and let them stay.

That’s the choice in front of you:
→ Spiral mode: keep fuelling the loop.
→ Power mode: one small action that shifts the chemistry.

The magic isn’t in avoiding emotions.

🔆It’s in interrupting and knowing your thought loop.

Here’s what I’ve learned after years of letting emotions drive the bull in the China shop, and the boiling pot of reactivity:

Emotions are data. Emotions are cues of information for you. They’re the symptom. Not the problem.

So next time they yell, they react, you yell, or you react, pause and ask yourself,

↪️What is my brain actually asking for or needing right now?
↪️Why am I reacting this way.
↪️What is this *really triggering?

Then do ONE action. 🔽

If You Feed it → It grows stronger. 😡

When You Shift it → You reclaim power, choice, and calm. 🦋

The choice is yours. Always, yours.

Every.
Single.
Time.

You need solutions. Let’s work out the best path towards control, peace, and happiness.

📍Save this as your 90-second reset guide.

Lend a like if this was helpful 🔑
Share to your network to help others 🎈
Connect if you want to work with me. 🫂

09/19/2025

They’re not shutting down to hurt you, or hurt you on purpose.

They’re shutting down to protect themselves from having to face themselves, from how they’re really feeling on the inside and what they’re struggling with, being unable to properly communicate how they feel and what they’re struggling need.

ADHD isn’t nice sometimes. It’s a lot of shutting down, shutting you out, yelling, screaming, meltdowns, avoidance, procrastination…

Moms tell me they ‘miss the kid who used to tell me everything.’

You remember when they used to come home from school, running to you with stories and excitement, hugs and laughter. They couldn’t get enough of you. You were their everything… they shared their day, their dreams, their problems and worries—even the silly stuff.

Now, it’s different. They’re different. And your relationship is different. It may be strained, disconnected, and frustrating.

One-word answers. Slammed doors. Mess. Silence. Or worse—fights that seem to come out of nowhere, and emotional triggers you can’t even begin to comprehend.

You try to connect. Lovingly. With care and thoughtfulness, and matter how carefully you ask what’s wrong, it just pushes him, or her, further away, and it seems to create more dissension and tension.

News flash. It’s not you. You’re not a bad parent. You’re trying your best and getting nowhere except more frosted and now both of you are in high conflict. love him.

It’s not them either. Sort of.
It’s their adhd brain.
It’s wired differently.

The procrastination, avoidance, and lack of emotional control isn’t because they’re actually wanting to be defiant, avoidant, or rude.

They’re shutting down and not behaving well because they’re overwhelmed, overstimulated, and can’t sift and sort… anything.

So the easiest thing to do is protect themselves and shut down, and shut you out.

All the demands, all the expectations, all the to-do’s…are too much.

And your disappointment is too much for them.

They’re so desperate to make you proud, and feel they can’t, so the shut down begins….

The truth is, they want to be close, to connect, to share, and talk.

Their self-esteem is low. They feel insecure, unable, and completely overwhelmed.

They may also feel judged, criticized, that expectations of them are too high, and the pressure they feel is too much, even though you may be doing none of that.

They just don’t know how to tell you how they’re feeling, and what they’re feeling, for fear of failing and disappointing you. He

They want to feel safe enough to share what’s really going on.

That’s where you and a new approach comes in.

Learning the right techniques and strategies that actually work, that are backed by science, is where we start.

It’s not theory or vague advice. Implementing practical, sustainable, and effective steps to help you reconnect—without power struggles,lectures, and yelling, and without pushing them further away, is how we create solutions and reconnect.

👉 If this sounds like you, and you’re ready to stop the insanity, get your life back, and help them with proven strategies backed by science, and start building the connection that brings them back,

Let’s chat.