Neil McKinlay Meditation

01/05/2026

12/31/2025

The Van Winkle Diaries�
Waking Up After Years In A Cult
�by Neil W McKinlay�

I have been quietly writing on Substack this last little while. What has emerged from these efforts is a series of reflections and rememberings about existing in and recovering from a spiritual community whose inner circle operated in a cult-like manner.

A link to my most recent post can be found in the comments. If you wander around, you’ll see a fair number of other pieces have already been shared.

Should you decide to take a look, I hope you find something resonant and affirming.

12/15/2025

The Van Winkle Diaries
Waking Up After Years In A Cult
by Neil W McKinlay

I have been quietly writing on Substack this last while. Exploring some questions. Following an inspiration or two.

What has emerged from this is a running series of reflections and insights, rememberings and experiences about existing in and recovering from a spiritual community whose inner circle operated in a cult-like manner.

A link to my latest post can be found in the comments. Should you decide to take a look, I hope you find something resonant and affirming.

12/12/2025

Like Any Other
The Online Gatherings
(www.NeilMcKinlay.com)

Minus my own features, the screen before me was empty. It was 10:38 am PT on Thursday December 11, 2025. The absence of other faces in the Zoom meeting I had opened ten minutes earlier suggested no one else was coming today.

This happens from time to time. On rare occasions, I show up for one of our regular Online Gatherings and find only my eyes, my nose, my mouth flickering in front of me. Pretty much every time, I consider signing off. ‘No one else is here,’ I think - and then catch myself.

The notion no one else is here is mistaken. Certainly no one else is here that I can see or hear in this moment. There are no other faces smiling back at me ‘Brady Bunch-style’. No one is texting or emailing, phoning or messaging to share the fact they are running late and will be there in a minute. But this does not mean no one else is here.

On Thursday, as 10:38 became 10:41 then 10:46, I noticed thoughts of those who had gathered Tuesday coming to mind. Then images of few folks from the past couple Saturday mornings. Then memories of some community members I haven’t see for a while, but know are still out there.

On Thursday, in other words, I witnessed a different kind of community gathering. Realizing this, I reversed my thinking of a few moments earlier - that notion ‘No one else is here’ - and welcomed all who had come together on this day.

I welcomed, as I always do, then settled into a bit of practice with everyone. A twenty or twenty-five minute meditation period with a community of beings for whom I hold much gratitude. A practice session in the Online Gatherings that, in many respects, was just like any other Thursday morning.

12/02/2025

The Van Winkle Diaries
Waking Up After Years In A Cult
by Neil W McKinlay

I have been quietly writing on Substack this last little while. Typing away. Exploring some questions. Following an inspiration or two.

What has emerged from these efforts is a running series of reflections and insights, rememberings and experiences about existing in and recovering from a spiritual community whose inner circle operated in a cult-like manner.

When I started this undertaking, I was not certain when or even if I would share these writings. Recently, however, it has become clear the time is now.

So here is my ongoing recovery journal: The Van Winkle Diaries. A link to my first post can be found in the comments. If you wander around, you’ll see a fair number of pieces have already been shared. I’ll try to link here each time a new entry is shared.

Should you decide to take a look, I hope you find something resonant and affirming. I hope, as always, this will be of benefit.

11/28/2025

Inclusive, Alive, And AI
The Online Gatherings
(www.NeilMcKinlay.com)

A recent Online Gathering generated a short discussion about Artificial Intelligence (AI). Like so many platforms, Zoom has introduced an ‘AI Companion’ to it’s smorgasbord of features. When someone noted this seems to have been turned on for us, it was promptly turned off, and we continued.

Once this Gathering concluded, however, I got curious. Zoom has long shared transcripts of our recordings with me. Interrupted by timestamps every few seconds, these have not proven very useful in the past. In the wake of our conversation, I wondered if AI (this time Microsoft Word’s version) might be able to make something of such documents.

So I asked for a summary of that day’s transcript and found myself pleasantly surprised by freshness with which our communal journey was articulated. Feeling some small measure of inspiration at this unexpected development, I’ve decided to share what I was given with all of you.

Here then, with some human editing, is that synopsis:

“This Gathering integrates concepts from the Heart Sutra, the interplay of form and space in meditation, the inclusion of others in our practice, and the cultivation of compassion.

The session begins with welcoming and settling in. We are invited to slow down and bring attention inward. Placing the left hand on the heart centre, we gather all parts of ourselves, including histories, moods, temperaments. Then the right hand is brought to the left acknowledging others present in our experience - be they seen or unseen, known or unknown, and so on. This lays the foundation for a meditation practice that embraces relationality and connection beyond the individual self.

A chant is then recited: "Embodied experience / inclusive and alive / I rest in this perfection / with curiosity and appreciation." These four lines encapsulate the core themes of the session, highlighting the importance of embodied presence, inclusiveness, and aliveness in meditation.

The main talk discusses meditation as a mixture of form and space, where ‘form’ refers to a tangible anchor such as the breath or body sensations, and ‘space’ refers to the spaciousness or openness of awareness.

This spaciousness is described as alive and vibrant, inhabited by energetic connections and relationships with others, transcending the notion of isolated individual experience.This inclusiveness broadens meditation from a solitary practice to one that acknowledges and embraces relational dynamics, enriching our practice with a sense of community and relational depth.

After a short guided meditation, the Gathering concludes with a return to the heart centre, acknowledging our connections with others who have appeared through the past hour. A final chant affirms the gift of life, welcoming it fully and sharing what is given with all, reinforcing the themes of inclusiveness, aliveness, and generosity.

As a whole, this Gathering offers a nuanced exploration of meditation as an embodied, relational practice that integrates traditional Buddhist teachings with contemporary insights into connection and community. It guides participants through recognizing and embracing the presence of others within meditation, fostering compassion and a sense of belonging that enriches both practice and daily life.”

10/26/2025

More Than A Whiteboard
Wednesday Night Meditation Class
(www.NeilMcKinlay.com)

I imagine it looks like any old whiteboard to most observers. A busy whiteboard from one perspective. A messy board from another. But a whiteboard, nonetheless.

We have been exploring embodiment these past couple months. Returning after a summer away from regular meditation classes, a small group of us at Oak Bay’s Monterey Centre have been going back to basics. We’ve been revisiting the simple, but layered, experience of being in this body. We have been revisiting what is sometimes identified as the ground, path, and fruition of our journey.

The meditative tradition describes this layering through the beautiful and insightful language of the three kayas. When we slow down, this teaching affirms - when we slow down and surrender to the absorptive pull of somatic mindfulness - we settle into the nirmanakaya, or body of form, the sambhogakaya, or body of energy, and the dharmakaya, or body of space. Together, these three comprise a complete sense of human embodiment.

As much as I love and appreciate this way of describing experience, these terms have not always been accessible to me. Minus a fair amount of practice and study, I could not have understood what the kayas were pointing toward. Minus this training, I could not have found much conscious connection with what they were pointing toward. And I know I’m not alone in this regard.

In order to open up this terminology for us, both in-person Monterey classes and the virtual Online Gatherings have been considering other ways of describing the nuanced layering of human embodiment. Without getting rid of the kayas, we have been looking for alternate languages we might use. Other ways of speaking and ways of describing that are more immediately accessible, but no less potent and communicative.

Through an ongoing series of questions and insights, conversations and interactions, one of these languages has seen us speak of the apparently bounded personal body (the nirmanakaya), the subtle body of connection and relatedness (the sambhogakaya), and the layer of embodiment that is inclusive of all time and space (the dharmakaya).

We have also seen the metaphor of a tree arise among us. This describes the fullness of embodiment in terms of the trunk of being, the roots of being, and the earth and sky of being. These three provide very tangible descriptions of the nirmankaya, sambhoghakaya, and dharmakaya, respectively.

During last night’s class, we allowed ourselves an additional opportunity to make the kayas more accessible. “What is your experience of the trunk and roots and earth and sky?” I asked. After a moment’s hesitation, those in attendance started sharing. Writing what I heard on the whiteboard, I had a hard time keeping up.

‘Structure’, ‘the lines and circles/rings of a tree’, ‘centered’, ‘posture’, and ‘presence’ were a few of the descriptions the nirmanakaya elicited. ‘Relations’. ‘extending awareness’, and ‘fine tuning the radio’ were some of the ways the sambhogakaya was articulated. The dharmakaya was sketched out with such words and phrases as ‘out there’, ‘greater reality’, ‘my place in the universe’, and ‘possibility’.

After only a few minutes, the whiteboard neared full. After thirty-five minutes more, our weekly practice session was complete. In the loose exchanges that took place as we put away props and slipped on our jackets and shoes, several of us observed how this short exercise had opened something fresh, had allowed us to connect and settle in some sort of deeper way.

So yes, I imagine it looks like any old whiteboard to most observers. A busy whiteboard from one perspective. A messy board from another. But a whiteboard, nonetheless.

What I see when I take this in, however, is something more - something much more.

When I look at that rectangular surface with all its squiggles and lines, however, I see a healing and joyful affirmation of the importance of community, of sangha, in our practice journey. I also see a healing and joyful affirmation of basic brilliance - the innate sense of clarity and knowing that is alive in well in each and every one of us.

10/16/2025

The Role Of Imagining
Wednesday Night Meditation Class
(NeilMcKinlay.com)

When we settle into this embodied moment, our relationship with the basic brilliance in each of us - basic brilliance and all it's helpful qualities - becomes more immediate, more direct, and more transparent.

In order to settle into this moment as fully as possible, we have been using a metaphor while meditating. We have been describing the three-layer view of human embodiment articulated in the tradition (the nirmanakaya or personal body, the sambhoghakaya or relational body, and the dharmakaya or body of all time and space) as a tree.

In this metaphor, we slow down and surrender to the absorptive pull of somatic mindfulness. With this as our guide, we settle into the trunk of our being, the roots of our being, and the earth and sky of our being, respectively. Doing so, allows us to touch the richness and depth of human embodiment.

In this week's class at Oak Bay's Monterey Centre, we were encouraged to enlist our imaginative capacities whilst meditating. We were encouraged to imagine the trunkness of the apparently bounded personal body, the rootness of the energetic body of connection and relatedness, and the earth-and-skyness of the layer of being that is inclusive of all time and space.

Admittedly, this might seem a strange way to practice: by, in a broad sense, thinking. But our imaginative capacities have long played a role in meditation. The Tibetan buddhist artwork many of us have encountered - figures from the buddhist world, that are also known as thankas - are often used as practice tools through which meditators familiarize with a particular figure, imagine them as fully as possible, and, in so doing, begin to connect with some of the qualities they bring into the world.

We're doing the exact same on Wednesday night: imagining trunk and root, earth and sky in order to connect with some of the qualities these layers of our embodied lives bring into the world. Qualities, it seems important to remind al of us, that are described under the umbrella term basic brilliance.

10/03/2025

A Summary Of Summaries
The Online Gatherings
(www.NeilMcKinlay.com)

The Online Gatherings has taken the summer span to practice a little bit more. At the same time, we have been remembering some of the highlights that emerged in our midst through our Winter/Spring explorations. Each week I’ve shared one such summary with the community. We now have twelve in all and this exercise is feeling complete.

Honouring this sense, I gave what you might call a ‘summary of the summaries’ during this week’s get togethers. Here it is for your enjoyment:

"The basic nature is central to all we do in the Online Gatherings. This innate wellspring of knowing, tenderness, and communication guides both our practice and path.

It guides the former through the absorptive draw of somatic mindfulness. When we slow down and surrender to it, the inherent pull of this moment allows us to settle into the fullness of this embodied instant. This fullness is inclusive of three ‘layers’:
• the nirmanakaya, aka: the apparently bounded personal body, or trunk of our being;
• the sambhogakaya, aka: the subtle, energetic relational body, or roots of our being;
• the dharmakaya, aka: the layer of embodiment that includes the totality of time and space, or the earth and sky of our being.

Through our interactions with one another – comments, questions, insights, emails, texts, and more – the basic wisdom of this community has repeatedly suggested the sambhogakaya is especially important in our engagement with compassion practices such as maitri.

Following the guidance of this communicativeness, we have adapted our basic practice. Once we realize some measure of settling into this embodied moment, we give slight attentional emphasis to the energetic layer of being. We let somatic mindfulness draw us into the roots of relatedness as they become increasingly subtle – eventually as refined as the mycelial filaments joining forests together.

Resting in this network, we receive the others – seen and unseen, known and unknown, living and past, human and other than human – as they arise in experience. This arising may appear as thoughts, energies, presences, memories, images, colours, tones, emotions, and more. However they arise, we receive, we welcome."

09/19/2025

Mindfulness And Empowerment
Wednesday Night Meditation Class
(www.NeilMcKinlay.com)

In-person meditation classes recently resumed at Monterey Centre. We came together on a warm Wednesday evening to kick off another season of connection and exploration. How wonderfully affirming that our first night focused on basic brilliance.

Basic brilliance (aka: buddha nature, basic nature, and/or basic goodness) points to a number of qualities that are fundamental to who we are. Clarity, tenderness, ease and well-being, for instance, are present in us whether we are having a good day or bad, whether we are meditating or not, whether our hair is silver or blonde.

This view can significantly impact our understanding of ourselves and others. Knowing well-being and ease are built into us, to raise an example I return to frequently, allows us to lighten our search for the ‘Goldilocks Zone’ (ie: not too hot; not too cold) in life. After all, those qualities are always here and ever accessible.

Placing basic brilliance at the centre of meditation is an act of empowerment. It affirms the fact we have everything we need to practice. Certainly some sense of formal technique and teachings can be extremely helpful. At the end of the day, though, meditating does not rest on these. Instead, meditating rests on what is essential in all of us: basic brilliance.

How can this be so?

One of the qualities inherent in our being is mindfulness, more particularly somatic mindfulness. This points to the gentle but inevitable draw this embodied moment exerts on our attention. Like a magnet with metal, paper towel with water, somatic mindfulness subtly pulls our attention toward this. And this dynamic - this basic dynamic - is what guides our meditation practice.

Again, a sense of technique can prove helpful. It can help us connect with the innate absorbency of this instant. This is why I offer a three-part alliteration to people I practice with. Together we (1) slow down, (2) surrender to the mindful draw we become increasingly aware of, and (3) settle into the fullness of our embodied lives.

Of the two, however, meditation rests much more on somatic mindfulness than it does on any kind of technique or teacher or tradition. Meditation rests much more on what is basic in all of us. Which is why placing this, placing basic brilliance at the centre of our practice from Day One is such a potent and empowering act.

11/29/2024

Images of Wakefulness:
The Latest from Our Communal Explorations

A series of practices is emerging among us. This is a sequence in which the story of one lays the foundation for the story of the 'next', which lays the foundation for the one 'after' that.

We've explored the white backdrop; the story of the ground which is our vast and mysterious life. We've explored the story of our basic practice, in which our inherent mindfulness invites attention into this present moment. The story of our embodied practice connects us with the form (trunk), energy (roots), and space (earth and sky) of this embodied instant.

This week, we started to emphasize the subtle/energetic relational roots of our practice - a facet of meditation that I feel is sorely under-appreciated. In the story of our supportive practice, we allowed the (very broadly defined) others that are sensed when we meditate to accompany, companion, witness, and support us.

11/22/2024

Images of Wakefulness:
The Latest from Our Communal Explorations

We're starting to layer a series of practices one atop of the other. Rather than introduce a whole series of different practices, we are allowing an organic sequence to unfold in our midst. A sequence in which the story of one lays the foundation for the story of the 'next', which lays the foundation for the one coming 'after' that.

There are three stories evident in this week's image. The white backdrop is the story of the ground: our vast and mysterious life. The sitting meditator is the story of our basic practice, in which our inherent (aka: basic) mindfulness invites attention into the present moment.

The tree, which we explored this week, is the story of our embodied practice, which connects us with the form (trunk), energy (roots), and space (earth and sky) of this embodied instant.