In Essence Counselling

In Essence Counselling www.inessencecounselling.com I love connecting with and supporting my clients in their healing and growth.

Using counselling modalities that integrate mind, body and spirit, I work with people who are struggling with issues related to stress, anxiety, high sensitivity, depression, dissociation, relationship challenges, and childhood trauma. Being able to help facilitate and witness deep and healing changes in others is one of the major blessings of my life!

Devastating.
04/21/2026

Devastating.

In a devastating investigation, Israeli soldiers are now speaking in their own words about what they did, what they witnessed, and what their commanders allowed in Gaza. These are not secondhand accusations or political attacks. They are confessions—raw, detailed, and impossible to dismiss.

[Find the link to the Haaretz report in comments]

They describe opening fire on unarmed civilians identified only as “targets” on a drone feed. They describe prisoners humiliated, abused, and discarded. They describe executions—men surrendering with hands raised, only to be shot and later labeled “terrorists.” And they describe something just as revealing as the violence itself: a system where none of this leads to accountability.

What emerges is not chaos. It is structure.

This is not the “fog of war.” It is policy by practice—kill first, justify later, investigate never.

As we have seen in this country, the destructive effects of the “fog of war”—the brutal killings, the unjustified pushes toward empire—do not end on the battlefield.

The damage lives on in the soldiers who are sent to carry it out. And too often, it feels as if those in power simply do not care. But we can choose something different. We can listen. We can create space for those who were there to speak honestly about what they saw and did. And in doing so, we can begin to confront the truth—not from the top down, but from the ground up—where real accountability, and the possibility of change, actually begins.

And what lingers in these testimonies is not just what was done, but what it did to those who carried it out.

Soldiers speak of shame, of dissociation, of an inability to reconcile their actions with any moral framework. The military calls it PTSD. But the soldiers—and some experts—call it something else: moral injury. Not fear of what happened to them, but horror at what they themselves became.

Because moral injury doesn’t just indict individuals—it indicts systems.

This is not a new phenomenon in Israel. The concept of “moral injury” has been studied for years, but what Israeli researchers and clinicians are now documenting gives it renewed urgency—and clarity.

It names what many soldiers themselves are struggling to articulate: a rupture between what they did, or were ordered to do, and the values they believed they held.

Unlike PTSD, which is rooted in fear, moral injury is rooted in recognition—the realization that lines were crossed, often knowingly, in the heat of revenge, chaos, and command pressure.

Psychologists working directly with troops describe a pattern: soldiers firing on people later found to be uninvolved, approving strikes with known civilian casualties, or participating in actions they justified in the moment but cannot live with afterward. The consequences are severe—depression, shame, substance abuse, even suicidal thoughts—but the deeper implication is structural. This is not just about individual breakdowns. It reflects a system that places soldiers in situations where moral collapse becomes not an exception, but an expectation.

It exposes a military culture that normalizes dehumanization, a political structure that shields it, and an international order that enables it. It reveals a reality that cannot be dismissed as isolated misconduct or “a few bad actors,” but instead points to a pattern—repeated, reinforced, and quietly accepted.

And of course it may take years for the damage the understanding to take hold with Y Net Global reporting “One of the complexities of moral injury is that it does not always appear at the moment of action,” Levi-Belz said. “Sometimes it emerges weeks later, after you take off the uniform. Sometimes years later.”

“There is no doubt that among IDF soldiers and reservists there has been an increase in moral injury compared to routine operations,” he said. Based on clinical experience and preliminary samples, he estimates that 40 percent to 50 percent of soldiers, particularly reservists, encountered morally injurious events during the war.

And that is where the story turns outward.

Because none of this unfolds in a vacuum. The bombs, the cover, the diplomatic protection—all of it flows, in part, from Washington. The United States continues to fund, arm, and politically defend the very system these soldiers are now describing from within.

The facts are no longer hidden. The voices are no longer external critics. They are coming from inside the system itself.

So the question is no longer whether the world knows.

The question is whether it is willing to act—or whether it will choose, again, to look away.

Because when even the perpetrators are telling the truth, silence is no longer ignorance.

It is complicity.

---

Joshua Scheer writes for ScheerPost.

[Find the web link for this article in the comments]

04/21/2026

Self-compassion isn’t only about soothing yourself. It is also about standing firmly on your own behalf.

There are moments when care looks like softness, and moments when it looks like strength. When you honor your limits, speak your truth, or choose what truly supports your well-being, you are practicing a deeper kind of compassion. One that protects, empowers, and restores justice.

✨ Where in your life might self-compassion be asking you to be a little more fierce right now?

04/14/2026

you look beautiful from here

04/13/2026

Consent isn't a conversation you have once when they're older. It comes from moments like this when a child learns in real time that "stop" is not a suggestion. It's a complete sentence.

Looking for ways to bring more of these moments into your home? A great resource for starting the conversation with kids -- girls and boys alike -- is "Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect" for ages 4 to 7 at https://www.amightygirl.com/body-boundaries

For older kids, we recommend the excellent "Consent (for Kids!)" for ages 6 to 10 at https://www.amightygirl.com/consent-for-kids

There is also a helpful guide for teens on topics such as consent and coercion, "Real Talk About S*x and Consent: What Every Teen Needs to Know," for ages 13 and up at https://www.amightygirl.com/real-talk-about-s*x-and-consent

To discuss topics such as s*xual harassment, respect, and consent with tweens -- both girls and boys alike -- we recommend the insightful novel "Maybe He Just Likes You" for ages 10 and up at https://www.amightygirl.com/maybe-he-just-likes-you

Credit: Mara Caitlin - Threads /

This was a beautiful moment to witness.
04/11/2026

This was a beautiful moment to witness.

04/11/2026
04/04/2026

Self-compassion helps us feel better—not by ignoring our pain or pretending everything is fine—but by embracing our struggles with warmth and kindness.

04/04/2026

Men with the most hostile and derogatory views of women are the most enthusiastic supporters of the tradwife movement -- not the chivalrous protectors the movement's social media aesthetic would have you believe.

That's the central finding of the first study ever conducted into how men perceive the tradwife trend, published this week in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly. Researchers surveyed 595 American men aged 18 to 29 about their attitudes toward the movement -- the social media subculture in which women influencers promote a lifestyle of total domestic submission, with husbands as sole breadwinners and decision-makers and wives devoted entirely to homemaking and childrearing. Some adherents go even further, giving men full financial control of the household.

The researchers -- UNLV developmental psychologist Rachael D. Robnett and Matthew Hammond of Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand -- went in expecting that men's support for the tradwife lifestyle would be rooted in what psychologists call "benevolent s*xism" -- the chivalric impulse to protect and provide for women, to view them as fragile and in need of care. That would have aligned with how tradwife content presents itself on social media: the softness, the devotion, the hushed domesticity.

The data said otherwise. "We expected protective paternalism to play a central role in explaining why some men perceive the tradwife movement positively," Robnett told PsyPost. "We were taken aback to discover that it was instead men's overt s*xism that played the most important role in their attitudes about the tradwife movement."

Social media's presentation of the tradwife lifestyle -- the sourdough cooling on scrubbed wooden counters, the vintage aprons, the nostalgic aesthetic that has attracted millions of followers to tradwife influencers -- leans heavily on benevolent s*xism. But this study suggests that aesthetic is obscuring the harsher attitudes that actually underpin much of the male support for the movement.

Hostile s*xism -- openly resentful, adversarial attitudes toward women, rooted in the belief that women use s*x and manipulation to undermine men's power -- was the strongest predictor of whether a man viewed the tradwife lifestyle favorably.

The only facet of benevolent s*xism that predicted favorable views was what researchers call "heteros*xual intimacy" -- the belief that a man is emotionally incomplete without a woman. Combined with hostile s*xism, this paints a coherent and troubling psychological portrait: men who depend on women for intimacy and resent that dependence.

"Together, these findings indicate that men who perceive the tradwife movement favorably believe that they rely on women for intimacy and simultaneously resent that this is the case," Robnett explained. "This mentality could put tradwives in a precarious position considering the amount of control -- both financial and otherwise -- that they yield to their husbands."

The study's findings take on added weight when placed alongside the broader political project to push women back into financial dependence on men. In January, the Heritage Foundation -- the organization behind Project 2025, the governing blueprint for the Trump administration -- published a 191-page report called "Saving America by Saving the Family" that explicitly identifies birth control, women's higher education, and women's workforce participation as drivers of declining birth rates -- and treats all three as problems to be solved.

The report blames "second-wave feminism and the s*xual revolution" for promoting "an individualistic, child-free, marriage-free, s*xual 'liberation'" and attributes falling birth rates to "the proliferation of birth control, more prospects for women to receive higher education and work outside the home."

The tradwife movement is the cultural arm of that agenda -- romanticizing a lifestyle of total financial dependence on men while powerful institutions work to make that dependence harder to escape. This study reveals who is most drawn to that vision: not men motivated by care or protection, but men who resent the women they claim to want to provide for.

As Robnett put it: the men who most favor the tradwife lifestyle also tend to hold "patronizing and derogatory forms of s*xism that are harmful to women." The women who yield their autonomy to those men may never recognize the contempt beneath the romance -- because on social media, it all looks like love.

---

--> To read the full study, "Ambivalent S*xism Theory as a Framework for Understanding Men's Attitudes About the Tradwife Movement," visit the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly at https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/03616843261433199

--> To read PsyPost's detailed interview with lead researcher Rachael Robnett, visit https://www.psypost.org/men-who-favor-the-tradwife-lifestyle-often-view-the-women-in-it-with-derision/

--> To read the Heritage Foundation's 191-page "Saving America by Saving the Family" report in their own words, visit https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/saving-america-saving-the-family-foundation-the-next-250-years

--> To read the Guttmacher Institute's analysis of how Project 2025 targets s*xual and reproductive health, visit https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/how-project-2025-seeks-obliterate-srhr

---

For an unflinching look at the vast online ecosystem of male hostility toward women -- from incels to pickup artists to Men's Rights Activists -- we recommend "Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists" at https://bookshop.org/a/8011/9781728290904 (Bookshop) and https://amzn.to/3Oke3CI (Amazon)

For a powerful book for teen and adult readers about the early warning signs of controlling relationships and how to get help, we highly recommend "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" at https://www.amightygirl.com/why-does-he-do-that

For a practical, game-changing book about creating genuine partnership in a household -- instead of the one-sided submission the tradwife movement glorifies -- we highly recommend "Fair Play" at https://bookshop.org/a/8011/9780525541943 (Bookshop) and https://amzn.to/4e2RWet (Amazon)

For confidence-building books for tween and teen girls, we recommend "The Confidence Code for Girls" (https://www.amightygirl.com/the-confidence-code-for-girls) for ages 8 to 12 and "The Self-Esteem Workbook for Teens" for ages 13 and up (https://www.amightygirl.com/the-self-esteem-workbook-for-teens)

For books that empower girls to take control of their own financial futures, visit our blog post "Manage Money Like a Mighty Girl: 30 Resources to Teach Kids Financial Literacy" at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=14495

For an excellent book about the long fight for women's rights in the US, we recommend "The Women's Hour: The Great Fight to Win the Vote" at https://www.amightygirl.com/the-womans-hour

For books for children and teens about real-life girls and women who refused to be defined by what others expected of them, visit our blog post "Dissent Is Patriotic: 50 Books About Girls & Women Who Fought for Change" at https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=14364

Address

Victoria, BC

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when In Essence Counselling posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Featured

Share