Mosaic Psychology

03/10/2022

There are some scary and deeply upsetting things happening in the world right now, and kids are asking questions. Sometimes we wonder what the right amount of information is... We want to keep be honest without overwhelming. I appreciate the suggestion of this post to frame "an honest response within a story of resilience and safety."

10/23/2021

The more time we spend living through a pandemic, the more we are learning of some of the impacts on our brains. This article discusses the concept of psychological hibernation - and why many of us are feeling so exhausted with coming out of it.

It’s not just you – the pandemic has changed our brain psychology.

04/27/2021

These days, many of us seem to be feeling a bit blah: low motivation, difficulty concentrating, not particularly sad but not really happy, either. This article describes the concept of languishing, and how it's an emotion that many people are feeling right now.

The neglected middle child of mental health can dull your motivation and focus — and it may be the dominant emotion of 2021.

03/22/2021

Child anxiety is a family affair. This blog gives a great description of the "dance" we often do to try to protect our kids (and ourselves!) from the discomfort anxiety causes. And how sometimes that protection can reinforce a pattern of avoidance. The need to build a tolerance for discomfort is something that comes up a lot in my practice (in my personal life, too!) - especially now, in the midst of a pandemic, when discomfort is all around us.

Child Anxiety, not a solo dance Child anxiety doesn’t like to dance alone…it’s a family affair. That’s because the more family members anxiety can draw onto its dance floor, the more powerful it can become.   Research indicates that 97% of children with anxiety have one or more parents

02/22/2021

02/02/2021

Many of us are feeling some hard days right now. It's covid, it's cold, and it's isolating, amongst other things. Here are some things to remember about hard days:

09/09/2020

04/19/2020

As we notice our kids struggling with the stress of Covid-19, many parents have been asking me how to support their kids. Here are some tips for helping kids cope:

1. Take care of yourself. Taking care of ourselves makes us more grounded, and means that we have more compassion and patience for our little people – something they are needing a lot of right now. See if there is any room for improvement in some of the basic areas of self-care: exercise, sleep, nutrition, and connection.

2. Maintain a routine that works for your family. The stress of Covid-19 is marked by unpredictability; having some predictability helps kids feel safe. For some families, this will mean a very structured schedule; for others, it might mean a less formal idea of what we do at different times of day. Do what works for you and your family. If you can, work during work time; don’t work during non-work time. Try to chunk out your time to be fully there for either your kids or fully be there for your work. I know with many parents working from home, this is not always possible. Do what you can. Planning to either be with your kids at a certain time or to be working at that time reduces frustration when you are unable to do both. Unplug from your phone as much as you can when you are with your kids.

3. Get outside every day. Kids (adults, too!) need to move their bodies, and getting outside every day helps with emotional regulation. Socially distant walks, bike rides, hikes, or playing in the yard are great.

4. Don’t stress about schoolwork, especially if they are in elementary school. Their education is important, but it is secondary to their social/emotional well-being. What is most important right now is that kids are getting a sense of safety and connection to their families. If you are able to get their school work in as well, that is great. If you can’t manage all of it, talk to their teacher and try not to sweat it. Remember that most parents are not teachers. Do your best and leave it at that.

5. Plan for things to look forward to (within the boundaries of isolation). Find things that you can plan a date for, like a family movie night with popcorn and treats, a special picnic on a hike, a family paint night, or baking a cake together. Ask your kids for suggestions.

6. Play! And do some art with your kids. Play is kids’ first language; they process what is going on for them best through metaphor and play. Lean into it with them. Art is a also great way for kids to express what is going on for them. Try to notice and reflect what is showing up in their art and play. Processing coronavirus is different for kids based on our isolation: they don’t have the same opportunities to process their feelings and experiences through play with their peers.

7. Make space for their feelings. Validate their emotions – feeling powerless, worried, scared, lonely, sad and anxious (amongst other things!) is completely valid and understandable. Try not to minimize their worries. Let them know that you are there for their feelings without dismissing them or adding a silver lining.

8. Recognize that some of those challenging behaviours (clingy, defiant, whiney, fussy, withdrawn, angry, tired, bored) are kids’ ways of expressing that something is not feeling right. Behavioural regression during stress is completely normal. Help give them some language for what is going on for them. “Wow this is tough/overwhelming/sad right now. You are really missing school/your friends. It’s hard not to be able to...” Spend extra time connecting, cuddling, and laughing together.

9. Have conversations about Covid-19. Be honest, but in simple terms, maintaining aware of their developmental stage. Give them opportunities to ask questions. Remember that kids can only process little bits of information at a time – they need information and time to ask/answer questions in small chunks.
I will post some links to free pdf books to help start that conversation in the comments section.

10. Be mindful of your own triggers. Many of us are being triggered by a sense of powerlessness or unsafety at the moment. Having our freedom restricted and not knowing when it will end is foreign to many of us. Take some space to recognize what is going on for you. Our kids live so much in the present moment that they are remarkably attuned to the emotions of those around them. And a piece of that attunement means that they feel what we feel. That doesn’t mean you have to hide your feelings, just that noticing what you are feeling can give some insight into what is going on for your kids. It is a great opportunity to role-model some feelings expression and talk to your kids about what is going on for all of you.

11. Recognize you might be trying to control your environment. In a time when many of us are feeling pretty powerless, many of us are looking to control what we can. Try to let go of the idea that you have to be and do everything.

12. Look for demonstrations of kindness and ask kids to become involved in how your family might demonstrate kindness and gratitude. Empower kids to make an impact on people’s lives. Offer to help a neighbor or write encouraging messages on your windows/driveways. Paint stones or pictures and leave them out for health care workers.

13. Be gentle. On yourself, and on those around you. In a time when everything is unpredictable and scary, a little gentleness goes a long way. ❤️

04/15/2020

Coronavirus grief affects our little people, too. Here are some of the ways they might be telling us :

04/04/2020

Wherever you are at the moment, consider where others might be and what is driving their choices. We're all moving back and forth and we are all here together.

03/27/2020

On COVID 19 and grief. This article explains it really well.

The coronavirus pandemic has led to a collective loss of normalcy.

01/31/2020

February is Psychology Month! Check out some of these free presentations available in and around Victoria this month.

01/23/2020

Imagine how assuming the best in others can impact both your relationships and your mood!

Assuming the best in people is a vital skill for leaders

12/10/2019

This time of year can be overwhelming for many of us, and is especially so for sensitive little people. Here's a little reminder.

09/09/2019

This time of year, it's good to remember how hard our little people work to hold it together during the day (and how we can support them when they come home!).

There’s a reason your kid is an angel at school or daycare but a hot mess at home. It's called after-school restraint collapse. Here's how to deal with it.

09/04/2019

On empathy and the value of community...

Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh.

There was a pause.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet.

"No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do."

"That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.

"What are you doing?" asked Pooh.

"Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either.

"But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh."

And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right.