02/10/2026
# PURSUIT OF WELLNESS (POW) GOALS
**DATE:** February 9, 2026
**FIRST NAME:** Amber
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# # GOAL 1: Manage intense emotions without immediately crying
**STEPS I WILL TAKE:**
1. Practice TIP skills when I first notice emotion rising (especially cold water on face, paced breathing, or brief intense exercise like pushups/jumping jacks)
2. Use "opposite action" when the urge to cry comes up in situations where I want to stay composed (e.g., sitting up straight, making eye contact, speaking in a firm voice)
3. Track patterns in a simple notes app: what triggered the emotion spike, intensity (1-10), whether I cried, and what skills I tried
4. Bring 1-2 recent examples to group each month where I either succeeded or struggled, to get feedback and troubleshoot
**HOW GROUP CAN SUPPORT ME:**
- Give me real-time feedback when I tear up in group (in a kind way) and help me practice staying present instead of shutting down
- Suggest specific skills combinations that worked for them in similar moments
- Hold me accountable to trying skills before I let the tears take over, and celebrate small wins when I manage even 30 seconds longer than usual
- Help me distinguish when crying is healthy emotional release vs. when it's an avoidance/shutdown mechanism
**TARGET DATE OF ACHIEVING GOAL:** August 2026 (6 months)
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# # GOAL 2: Build comfort with uncomfortable situations through gradual exposure
**STEPS I WILL TAKE:**
1. Create a personal "exposure ladder" with 8-10 small challenges ranked from least to most scary (e.g., texting someone first → calling instead of texting → asking a cashier a question → attending a small social event)
2. Commit to trying one micro-exposure per week and recording what happened (what I felt, what skill I used, whether I avoided or pushed through)
3. Use distraction and self-soothe skills before/during/after exposures to manage the anxiety without substances or complete avoidance
4. Share my exposure ladder with the group and update them monthly on what I tried and what felt impossible
**HOW GROUP CAN SUPPORT ME:**
- Help me break down "too big" steps into smaller, actually doable ones when I get stuck or overwhelmed
- Give me ideas for exposures I might not think of, especially interpersonal ones (like giving feedback in group, disagreeing out loud, asking for what I need)
- Provide validation and encouragement when I try something and it feels terrible but I didn't bail
- Gently push back when I'm avoiding something I said I'd try, and help me figure out if it's "not ready yet" vs. "just scared"
**TARGET DATE OF ACHIEVING GOAL:** February 2027 (full year)
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# # GOAL 3: Set and maintain boundaries with friends without guilt or people-pleasing
**STEPS I WILL TAKE:**
1. Identify 2-3 current friendships or situations where I consistently over-give, say yes when I mean no, or let things slide that bother me
2. Practice DEAR MAN scripts in writing before difficult conversations (even if I don't send them yet)
3. Set one small boundary per month (e.g., "I can't text back instantly all day," "I need to leave by 10pm," "I'm not comfortable with that joke") and follow through even if it feels awkward
4. Notice and challenge guilt thoughts using "check the facts" and opposite action when the urge to cave comes up
**HOW GROUP CAN SUPPORT ME:**
- Help me reality-check whether my boundaries are reasonable (since I might think I'm being "too much" when I'm actually just being normal)
- Role-play or practice saying the boundary out loud in group before I have to do it in real life
- Point out when I'm people-pleasing in group itself (over-apologizing, not taking space when I need it, agreeing when I actually disagree) so I can practice boundaries in a safe space
- Remind me that good friends can handle boundaries, and if they can't, that's information about the relationship
**TARGET DATE OF ACHIEVING GOAL:** November 2026 (9 months)
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These goals hit major DBT skill areas and build on each other: if I can regulate emotions better, exposures get easier; if I can tolerate discomfort, boundaries get easier to hold.
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