10/31/2025
I have mistaken Fires Nature many times.
Believing the flames were out to get ME.
And only me.
That her heat and her flicker were sent
to punish me.
Many times, when my eyes have been crusted in sleep, and my dark hair tangled around my fists
the same fists that have been coiling in the same way since a child ,
I forgot
and believed
I am just here to burn.
And I forgot she was warming me with my own prayer: To have courage. To be alive.
Many times I forgot Earths medicine.
I collapsed into the weight
forgetting
I can hold and be held in reciprocity.
Taking from her sturdiness.
Feeling betrayed when she quaked and shifted.
Forgetting my Prayer: To Trust in Life.
I have turned my back on Airs wisdom.
Many times.
Refusing to breathe.
Because what if, what if, the next breath does not come?
Afraid of her gusts and expulsions.
Afraid of my strange moans and chatters and womb-speak.
Forgetting my prayer: To Become my True Voice.
Many times, I denounced Waters grace.
Going thristy.
Or drowning in it.
Tears pouring into the Flow that I was trying to control.
Maddeningly, she slips between my grasp.
Pulls me under.
Remembering my prayer: To Open.
Like you,
I have been many versions. A hiding woman and a scared girl, a night creature, an addict, an old soul, a howling witch, a bundle of joy, a martyr, a backroads lover, a sacred slVt, a forgotten muse, an ancestral message, a simple human.
All of these swirling identities.
None of them are mine alone.
All here to teach me.
None of them a trap.
All of this medicine.
A bag of prayers.
All lineages live on through our forgetting and remembering.
Prayers down today for the power in your blood and the wisdom of your earth walk.
the Turn On
a 6-month initiatory descent for women
applications are open
Body Tending, Er0tic Liberation, Expression.