06/29/2025
"How is this my life?"
Do you ever pause and look around at the life that surrounds you? I'm not sure if it's just something I do or if the grief I've experienced has taught me to do so, but I find myself in awe of the life that I'm living right now.
This morning was the final session of the Sacred Voice training with Komal of and all my lovely sisters from around the globe. Today was bittersweet - it's been such an AMAZING journey, far beyond simply adding your voice to a sound bath. We were raw and vulnerable and authentic. I am SO very thankful for this opportunity as it has helped me heal & grow 🙏
Ten years ago, I know that in the midst of moving and wedding preparations, I paused to ask myself, "How is this my life?" It was said with excitement as Rob & I exchanged our wedding vows the next day.
The skies were smokey from forest fires and everything went as planned. As Rob & I left the church, we looked at each other in amazement and exclaimed, "We did it!" The journey had felt so long, but now we were on it together.
Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the tone of "How is this my life?" to change from excitement to one of dread & dismay. Rob's mental health deteriorated rapidly, and his su***de 5.5 years ago brought a much different inflection to the question, "How is this my life?"
I am learning to grieve the man I married and not the disease that took him. I am learning to leap into the unknown and embrace the life that has been gifted me - life is too short to play small. I am learning to trust the process as life unfolds.
In my wildest dreams, I could never have imagined this life I've lived - all the joy and all the heartache. I am thankful for each day that I wake up, pause, look around & ask myself once more,
"How is this my life?"