04/05/2026
It’s Easter Sunday.
The snow had already melted. The boys were little. My mom had hidden Easter eggs all over her yard and those kids were losing their minds with joy.
I can still see it. I can still put myself right back into these pictures.
And today, sitting in my morning
meditation, that memory found me. And with it came this wave of grief so big I just had to let it move through me.
Because that day doesn’t exist anymore. That yard. That gathering. The cousins, my brother, my sister, the chaos and the laughter and my mom right in the middle of all of it…. the reason we were all in the same place.
She was the reason.
April is complicated for me. She passed on Easter weekend. The date moves every year, which means the whole month just… carries it. You can’t pin it down. You just have to be in it.
And today I was in it.
But something else came too…..
As I sat in that grief, I felt, like really felt, how fiercely that woman loved me. No conditions. No questions. No matter what I did or said or how I showed up. I always knew. I knew.
That kind of love doesn’t end. It moves.
It flowed from her into me. And now it flows from me into my boys. And they know what being fiercely loved feels like because she knew how to love fiercely first.
Grief isn’t something you get through.
It’s something you move with.
And sometimes, right in the middle of it, you find the gift that was always inside it.
Miss you, mama 💛
