Kelly Davison Counselling

05/30/2025

Yes!

05/24/2025

My new website is up and running!

05/22/2025

Good news: my website is getting a refresh! Not-so-good news: my website won't be available for a day or so!

05/08/2025

You're not alone if you have those memories that give you uncomfortable cringe!

04/11/2025

I think this is going to resonate:

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/15hj71q7GR/

I'm independent, feeling free. I met someone who’s incredible. He’s older, he’s smart, and he treats me like a lady. He tells me that I’m beautiful, wise; he loves my outlook on life. I know I don’t have to think it but, hypothetically, if he hit me, I would leave him.
He treats me so much better than I’ve ever been treated before. He really notices me, he compliments me, he’s texting me constantly. He’s mature, he’s smarter, and he would never hurt me. He never would, but of course, if he hit me, I would leave him.

We connect on a level that’s hard to describe. He really gets me, he wants the same things in life. For the first time I feel completely understood. I’m feeling full of hope and excitement, he says he is too! He feels the same way as I do! It couldn’t possibly happen, not in a million years, but if a man hit me, I would leave him.

He says he loves me! That’s a bit quick. Wants to move in together? We’ve only been dating one month. But now, I’ve offended him, what am I doing? I may never find another soul mate like him. Ok, I’ll do it, I love you too. He won’t hit me, but if he did, I would leave him.

Living together, he seems a bit distant, I wonder what’s wrong. I try to make him feel better, but nothing’s working. I try all the things he usually likes; make the house spotless, cook a nice meal, try and talk to him and show him I care. But he won’t open up; maybe I’ve done something, but what? We were so good before, I’ll try and make this work, but of course, if he hit me, I’d leave him.

Things have changed, when did that happen? He gets so angry, his eyes seem possessed. Shouting and raging like I’ve never seen before. And then he’s so cold, not just distant, but silent. Sometimes for days he will ignore my existence. I beg him to forgive me, but I’m not sure what for. Suddenly things are ok again, I see the old him. If I just stop messing up he will stop getting mad. But, if he hits me, I will leave him.

It’s so sweet how I’m so naive, he says. I guess it’s true, he’s smarter than me. I want to meet up with friends but he tells me he’s hurt. Don’t I ever think about how it makes him feel, he says. He has no friends nearby but I want to meet up with mine, he says. I guess it’s true, I’m selfish too. I say sorry and stay at home watching TV in silence with him. Still, if he hits me, I think I will leave him.

We’re moving. He will feel less stressed living near his family again. I ask if it’s ok to meet up with friends before we leave. Are you sure that’s a good idea, he says. He points out how I abandoned my friends when we started dating and my friends are probably mad. He’s right! I’ve been a terrible friend! I won’t text them. I’m so lucky he loves me with all of my flaws. If he hit me, I guess I would leave him.

We’ve moved away now. I feel so alone. He works long hours. I feel less tense when he’s not home but I miss him terribly and I’m waiting on him. I hear the key in the lock. I’m excited but my anxiety rises because I don’t know what mood he will be in. He seems ok, I try to cuddle on the sofa, but he tuts and says he’s tired and I’m needy. I feel hollow and I long for his love. If he hit me, I guess I might leave him.

His friends are over. I like it when his friends are here because he is more affectionate towards me. He tells them he’s proud of me. They say how we are such a great couple, when will we get married? I see that look in his eye and when his friends leave, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT? I panic, maybe he will leave me this time, and I feel utter despair. If he hit me, I’m not sure I’d leave him.

We plan a daytrip, we don’t have them often. I try to get everything right from the start so that things go smoothly. He’s annoyed because I take too long to get out of the house, but I think it’s ok. But there’s traffic and I begin to get anxious. He starts to drive really close to the cars, surely he knows I hate that, but I dare not say anything. He SHOUTS and SWEARS and my heart sinks, I’m in trouble now. Just try to be invisible, not to make it worse. If he hit me, I don’t know if I’d leave him.

It’s been like this a while now. He says that I’m too sensitive. If I don’t like him how he is, he says I can leave, I know where the door is. He says he wouldn’t try and stop me. But I’ve got nowhere to go, and I’m worth nothing. He is nice to me sometimes, maybe often, it all seems a blur. I can’t make sense of it anymore. Maybe I am too sensitive, it’s probably me. If he hit me, I don’t think I’d leave him.

Something big has happened, the rages seem to get bigger. He started throwing things because I make him so angry. He says he will call the police if I touch his things, or he will hurt me if I don’t listen. He’s been telling lies, I see that now. Lies about money, his life and me. I feel numb. I feel like I’m broken. If he hit me, the pain would at least make sense, but he hasn’t and that’s not the reason I’m leaving.

I left him. I feel stripped down, beaten, exhausted, lost, but I escaped and for that I feel free. But my mind remains imprisoned, I have suffered trauma, and it’s a long journey to recovery. Was it abuse? I tell them it was. Well, what did he do? they ask. I explain, but what am I really explaining, it doesn’t sound like much when my pain is so engulfing. Well, they say, it doesn’t sound great, but at least he didn’t hit you.

- Emma Rose Byham

03/26/2025

One way to install self-love…

🧡 Remember how they loved you 🧡

02/14/2025

One of my fave parts of the novel Eat, Pray, Love...reminds me so much of IFS:

On my ninth day of silence, I went into meditation one evening on the beach as the sun was going down and I didn’t stand up again until after midnight. I remember thinking, “This is it, Liz.” I said to my mind, “This is your chance. Show me everything that is causing you sorrow. Let me see all of it. Don’t hold anything back.”
One by one, the thoughts and memories of sadness raised their hands, stood up to identify themselves. I looked at each thought, at each unit of sorrow, and I acknowledged its existence and felt (without trying to protect myself from it) its horrible pain. And then I would tell that sorrow, “It’s OK. I love you. I accept you. Come into my heart now. It’s over.”
I would actually feel the sorrow (as if it were a living thing) enter my heart (as if it were an actual room). Then I would say, “Next?” And the next bit of grief would surface. I would regard it, experience it, bless it, and invite it into my heart, too. I did this with every sorrowful thought I’d ever had – reaching back into years of memory – until nothing was left.
Then I said to my mind, “show me your anger now.” One by one, my life’s every incident of anger rose and made itself known. Every injustice, every betrayal, every loss, every rage. I saw them all, one by one, and I acknowledged their existence. I felt each piece of anger completely, as if it were happening for the first time, and then I would say, “come into my heart now. You can rest there. It’s safe now. It’s over. I love you.”
This went on for hours, and I swung between those mighty poles of opposite feelings – experiencing the anger thoroughly for one bone-rattling moment, and then experiencing a total coolness, as the anger entered my heart as if through a door, laid itself down, curled up against its brothers and gave up fighting.
Then came the most difficult part. “Show me your shame,” I asked my mind. Dear God, the horrors I saw then. A pitiful parade of all my failings, my lies, my selfishness, jealousy, arrogance. I didn’t blink from any of it though. “Show me your worst,” I said.
When I tried to invite the units of shame into my heart, they each hesitated at the door, saying, “No – you don’t want me in there… don’t you know what I did?” And I would say, “I do want you. Even you. I do. Even you are welcome here. It’s OK. You are forgiven. You are a part of me. You can rest now. It’s over.”
When all this was finished, I was empty. Nothing was fighting in my mind anymore. I looked into my heart, at my own goodness, and I saw its capacity. I saw that my heart was not even nearly full, not even after having taken in and tended all those calamitous urchins of sorrow and anger and shame; my heart could easily have received and forgiven even more. Its love was infinite.

01/07/2025

Beautiful sentiment from Chrysalis House in Kentville--remember that you are not alone if you are in a situation that is harmful. A wish for 2025: in the darkness that seems to surround us, let's share whatever light we find in ourselves to make our immediate world warmer and more connected.

Wishing a Happy Orthodox Christmas to all in our community and worldwide who celebrate! May the radiant light of this holiday bring healing, hope, and a comforting reminder that you are never alone. ❤️🕯️