REL Consultants

07/19/2025

5 Types Of People Who Regularly Bring Chaos Into Your Life
If your life always feels messy, one of these five people might be the reason.
Clayton Olson

Everyone knows there are certain people to avoid while dating because they come with the big, glaring red flags of a chaotic relationship. Some are obvious: The serial cheater, the abuser, the liar, the control freak, they are screaming "Be careful" in your face.

But what about the ones you might not notice? The more subtle indications you can spot if you know where to look before you get in too deep with the type of person who will regularly turn calm into instant chaos.

Here are five types of people who regularly bring chaos into your life:

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If your life always feels messy, one of these five people might be the reason.

07/18/2025

10 Concrete Signs Of A One-Sided Friendship
If you're always the one texting first, making plans, and being there when it matters — this one's for you.
Destiny Duprey

Not all friendships are created equal. Some feel effortless and mutual, full of late-night drives, check-in texts, and emotional support when you need it most. But others? They slowly start to feel one-sided. You're the one always reaching out, always showing up — somehow it's still not enough.

One-sided friendships can be even more painful than a breakup. The imbalance makes you feel invisible and unimportant. If you're constantly questioning your worth in the relationship, it may be time to take a step back and look for the signs you're the only one putting in the effort.

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If you're always the one texting first, making plans, and being there when it matters — this one's for you.

07/18/2025

You can make a difference!

07/17/2025

Gen X Wasn't Raised As Part Of The Sick Day Generation — 'We Were Raised To Push Through, Not Call Out'
Our generation rarely took sick days — we got told to toughen up and keep going.
Bernard Bloom

On alternate Friday mornings for the past five-plus years, the woman in charge of payroll drops off a written notice that I will soon exceed the allowable amount of vacation days that one can accumulate at the city where I work.

The city’s policy is that you can accumulate a maximum of twice the amount you earn in a year. In my case, this is twenty-five days per year, meaning I can accrue up to fifty days or 400 hours.

I used to receive the same notice years ago when my totals were fifteen days per year and thirty days total (240 hours). The city allows us to cash out a maximum of ten vacation days annually, which I have been doing for the past ten or so years.

Our generation rarely took sick days — we got told to toughen up and keep going.

07/16/2025

Passion Type Three Deceit

07/16/2025

In a divided world how can we get along better with each other?

07/16/2025

3 Things Deeply Dysregulated People Do Over And Over Again
Signs someone's nervous system is off the rails.
Holly Davis

Bouts of anger between spouses aren’t uncommon in marriage, and many people write them off as an unfortunate necessity of a long-term “healthy” relationship. Some even convince themselves that it’s a sign of passion or the strength of their love.

It can be hard for some people mired in such a relationship to see that fervor and passion have morphed into full-on emotional dysregulation. But here are some red flags to look out for that often suggest someone is deeply dysregulated.

Signs someone's nervous system is off the rails.

07/15/2025

Let's care about each other. We are all part of God's family/Mother Earth's family.

07/15/2025

People Who Buy Into These Lies About Forgiveness Struggle To Ever Really Move On
Believing these myths keeps you stuck in the emotional mud.
Lavinia Lumezanu

When I was a child, my parents would always tell me that I was very forgiving and I never held grudges, but the truth is, I was just sneaky. I would "let things go," pretend everything was fine and happy, then bring the issues up at the perfect moment to “defeat” the other person. Research argues that forgiveness is not about overlooking wrongdoing or pretending it didn't happen at all.

It took me a long time to learn about forgiveness, how to forgive, and what it really means, and I’m still learning about it every day. I’m getting better at letting go and forgiving others, but most importantly, I'm better at forgiving myself, learning how to be happy, and recognizing lies about forgiveness when I see them.

People who buy into these lies about forgiveness struggle to ever really move on:

Believing these myths keeps you stuck in the emotional mud.

07/14/2025

10 Things Brené Brown Said That Finally Got Me To Stop Pretending I’m Fine
The moment I stopped pretending I was fine was the moment I finally started living.
Aria Gmitter

Love is a mystery, but for me, it used to mean becoming less of myself just to be accepted by others. I thought I was being brave by shrinking to fit in: quieting my voice, softening my personality, hiding anything that might make me seem "too much." What I didn't realize was that by pretending I was fine, I was sacrificing authenticity for approval.

All that hiding came with a heavy dose of shame — the kind that whispers you're never really enough. The harder I tried to earn love, the more disconnected I felt from myself and the people around me. That shift began after I read The Gifts of Imperfection by researcher and motivational speaker Brené Brown.

Her words cracked something open in me — about worthiness, vulnerability, and what it means to show up as your whole self. Trying to be what others expect doesn't work, but loving yourself through your flaws is where real connection begins.

The moment I stopped pretending I was fine was the moment I finally started living.

07/13/2025

10 Things Deeply Mature People Do More Often Than Not
What emotional grown-ups do that consistently set them apart.
By Dan Whalen

In life, the journey through maturity is often a rocky one. Like a kid avoiding a vaccine, we often resist lessons in character development. Whether fear is at the source or we simply relish in our combative nature, our behaviors tend to perpetuate into these unshakable identities, which, most of the time, aren’t even who we want to be.

My path was tempestuous, riddled with ignorance and blind spots that not only projected a deafening cry for help but sealed the door for anyone else to enter. It wasn’t until my quiet desperation yielded long enough for me to understand the impact I was having on others did I finally released everything I had ever known to be “me.”

The first step in causing a breakthrough is awareness, and this list compiles several of the key distinctions I now leverage to stay true to what’s important to me and remain a deeply mature person.

What emotional grown-ups do that consistently set them apart.

07/12/2025

3 Ways To Become The Kind Of Person A Sociopath Refuses To Target
Sometimes they play with your emotions just for fun.

Millions of people living among us are users. They have serious personality disorders in which they exploit and manipulate others — clinically referred to as antisocial personality disorders, including, narcissistic and psychopathic personality disorders. Lifetime prevalence for these conditions ranges from 2% to 4% in men and from 0.5% to 1% in women. To deny this reality is to put ourselves at risk.

These users view every social interaction as a feeding opportunity of sorts. They all have the same sociopathic MO, or modus operandi. You have something they want, they can see your vulnerabilities and they know how to manipulate those vulnerabilities to get what they want.

People who engage in sociopathic behavior view the world as predators and prey. In many cases, what they want is obvious, but sometimes they want the fun of manipulating someone into doing what they want. This called duping delight.

Knowing all of this, how can you protect yourself? By knowing where they'll target and being proactive.

Sometimes they play with your emotions just for fun.