29/03/2024
Talking to toddlers — and getting them to actually listen — is not easy. Here's what parents and caregivers can do to help:
Give clear directions
“Pick up the ball. Now put it in the box.” The clearer the directions, the more likely your child is to follow them.
Label and validate their feelings
When kids get upset, whether it’s about something understandable or something that seems silly, it’s important to remember that toddlers are people. For a child who’s just learning to make sense of the world, those experiences and the feelings they provoke are as intense as any an adult has.
It really helps to label and validate how kids are feeling. This can be as simple as saying: “I know you want that cookie right now. I can see you are mad.” Showing your child that you’re taking their feelings seriously, and helping them put words to their emotions, can help defuse potential tantrums and make it easier for them to explain their feelings more effectively next time.
Offer choices
Toddlers don’t have much control over their lives, but giving kids small choices can help them feel like you’re taking their needs seriously. For example, when it’s time to get dressed you could say: “Do you want to wear your tiger shirt or your dinosaur shirt?”
Keep it consistent
Toddlers like repetition, and using consistent language helps them learn what to expect. Consistent language works best when everyone is following the same playbook. Parents should make sure they’re on the same page around language and rules — that is, “five more minutes” needs to means five more minutes period, regardless of who’s saying it.
Positive attention
A big reaction to bad behavior can send the message that acting out is a good way to get attention. Instead, praise behaviors you do want to see. And try to respond calmly when kids are being difficult.
Give yourself some grace
There are going to be times where you lose your cool, and that’s okay. Use them as a chance to model healthy emotional habits for your child. “I’m sorry I got mad. Next time I’ll try to be more patient.”
Read more: https://childmind.org/article/talking-to-toddlers/