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Why Intervention

We show families HOW to help an addicted loved one get sober

13/09/2024

You know what I’ve seen more clearly as of late?

Often times an addicted loved one will emphatically say they don’t want help- while going so hard into their substance use that it all comes crashing down-

So then, they won’t have to ask for help, the decision will be made for them.

Like a person in a relationship who lacks the courage to break up so they screw up so bad in the hopes the other person does it for them.

So when the next bad thing happens as a result of their use- and as long as you have the next steps lined up- you can say “the writing’s been on the wall for a long time- now I’m reading it you.”

It’s cliche, but their behavior is the cry for help- because their addiction won’t let them ask for help.

“I love and care about you very much- and I’m worried. Here’s why…”

Then, highlight the behavior, and the consequences, in a matter of fact, neutral way.

Then ask, “since it’s obvious we need to do something about this, what do you feel will make the biggest difference for you right now?”

Take immediate action on anything you can get them to agree to. A step in the right direction is better than no steps at all.

For help having this kind of conversation, click link in bio.

10/08/2024

Never Split The Difference” is the best book I’ve read in the last ten years.

Nothing has had more practical, experiential impact on my capability to help parents navigate addiction than the tactics outlined in this book. It should be required reading for everyone.

Getting the opportunity to meet with and tell him just how much help his book has been for me and the families I work with was priceless. Thank you Chris.

Extra special thanks to and the for making this happen. Thank you thank you 🙏 🙏🙏

22/05/2024

Do you see your loved one as a bad person or a sick person?

To get better, at least one person has to believe your addicted loved one can get better.

But getting better isn’t something your loved one believes is possible for them.

Believe it for them.

And don’t lose hope.

There’s over 25 million people in recovery from addiction, and it looked hopeless for each and every one of them the day before they got sober.

Recovery is just as likely for your loved one as for anyone.

But you gotta believe it’s possible- and take actions to help it happen.

01/05/2024

Let. It. Go.

01/04/2024

But the haters will tell you there’s nothing you can do to help them 🤔

30/03/2024

Follow for more

27/03/2024

One of the most difficult things to bounce back from is when you say you will do something and you don’t do it.

This teaches your addicted loved one what they can get away with and moves them further away from stopping.

We did an episode on the titled “How to master healthy boundaries vs. consequences & ultimatums.”

Give it a listen to discover why you may be having difficulty setting effective boundaries and what to do to make it more likely your loved one accepts help.

Click the link in my story (today only)

22/03/2024

Before you get angry, I’m going to give you the script:

“We love you and care about you very much.
We’re worried and we realize that much of what we’ve done in the past, while well intentioned, has inadvertently enabled your addction, so we want you to know that we’re sorry and we are committed to not making those same mistakes in the future- moving forward, we are only going to support your recovery. So having said that, is there any reason why you wouldn’t let us help you out of this hole?”

If they say no, no more metaphorical sandwiches.

You tell them what metaphorical sandwiches you’re no longer going to give them because again, those support their addction, and you know better now.

And if they still say no, they’re in the hole with no sandwiches.

Tell them you love them and you’ll check in with them tomorrow.

How many days you think they’ll make it before deciding that getting out of the hole is a great option?

In my experience, if you follow through- no more than three.

And honestly, just saying no more sandwiches is usually enough.

We get them out of the hole same day.

20/03/2024

And 12 step meetings are full of people who don’t want to be there either.

And after they are there for a while, a while being a week, a few weeks, or maybe even a few months,

There’s a possibility for an epiphany.

And the epiphany is, “Wow! I really needed to be here this whole time. I actually have a problem! I was the last one to know.”

So why is this important for you as a family member?

When dealing with a loved one’s addiction, external motivation precedes internal motivation.

And whatever that external motivation is pushes them towards treatment or some program of recovery- despite the fact that they don’t want to be there.

Ask any person in recovery who’s been through it- it’s never a good day to get sober. It sucks.

We aren’t joyfully raising our hand saying “oh yay, we’re going to rehab today!”

So having the expectation that your loved one has to “want it” before they get help keeps you waiting for a day that ain’t coming.

Instead, brace yourself for the reality that a serious conversation needs to be had. And they won’t like it.

But if you structure this talk well enough, your loved one may accept help- even when they’ve always said they don’t want it.

To find out how to have the kind of conversation that gets the results you want, click link in bio to visit the website and make use of the free resources

18/03/2024

Wanna know how to make your home environment uncomfortable for someone in active addiction?

1. Clearly communicate reasonable expectations
2. Use empathetic accountability for inevitable setbacks
3. Appropriately respond to unacceptable behavior

13/03/2024

If you define yourself by your mistakes and bad behaviors, that becomes your identity.

The negative self talk drives more bad behaviors.

What’s great about you?

You may be one shift in belief away from changing your whole identity.

You are worth taking care of.

People change their whole identity all the time- on a dime.

Whatever you’ve done- you are not irredeemable.

Get around people who talk to you like this.

You’ll be alright.

11/03/2024

Addiction is not a moral failing. Your loved one isn’t deciding to be an addict.

But I understand this explanation can feel inadequate when your personal experience with substances is different from an addicted person.

You think you’re not an addict or alcoholic because you’re smarter than that. Because you have better decision making abilities. Or because your moral compass keeps you on the straight and narrow. You know better. You’re more responsible.

But the only reason you’re not an addict is because your body has a different reaction to drugs or alcohol.

And the reason they are an addict is because something happened to them when they got drunk or high the first time that can best be described as a life changing experience.

They were hooked. And they’re still hooked.

So help them get off the hook. That doesn’t mean absolving them or condoning all the pain their addiction caused. It means acknowledging the pain was caused “because addiction.”

So if you separate your loved one from their addiction, you can make the problem their addiction. And then you can discuss solving the problem.

Because there’s an answer for addiction. Addiction can be treated.

You can’t treat “he’s an asshole.”

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