Guido Rizieri

Guido Rizieri Blog where I talk intuitive connection to ourselves and the universe, to guide our journey towards emotional health, trauma healing and personal growth.

(Previously The Tao of Economics)

Follow my Youtube channel: TheTaoOfEconomics

Healing toxic shame is one of the most difficult things to do. When a child is not given the love care attention and val...
25/04/2025

Healing toxic shame is one of the most difficult things to do. When a child is not given the love care attention and validation he needs, he develops toxic shame, sense of worthlessness, and carries it in adulthood. Reconnecting with him, feeling the little baby, little boy or little girl within, feel his/her vulnerability and give it the love is crucial. Staying with the feeling of shame as well, and shame is very unpleasant to feel.

This is one of the most difficult things to do yet is crucial to heal toxic shame. It is difficult for many reasons, one...
21/04/2025

This is one of the most difficult things to do yet is crucial to heal toxic shame. It is difficult for many reasons, one is that we have years now of automatic pilot coping mechanisms and masks, which in a way have been written into our nervous system as standard programs. Number 2 is that we may believe who we are is something else, because of whatever reasons, stories we told ourselves images we created of who we are or who we think we may or should be. One of the toughest obstacles is that sometimes being our true selves feels like letting ourselves down, failing ourselves, comes across as vulnerability (and it is indeed) and we perceive vulnerability as a terrible betrayal of our softer parts, a shameful act of losing. THAT belief is one of the hardest things and you need a therapist or coach that can repeatedly and clearly reinstate that you are NOT failing yourself for being elegant and vulnerable in your authenticity. That you are not shameful for being your beautiful self. Crucial (for MEN especially). And finally because it can be excruciatingly terrifying to communicating vulnerably your boundaries (yet IN your power even if it doesnt feel like that before). It can be extremely SCARY. SO you need external resources to support the internal wisdom and courageous ones in doing it. Here the story, the narrative is crucial to support a survivor into recovery, toxic shame work, boundaries work when the violation was deep and profound, is VERY tough and requires strong support from a therapist, coach (or ChatGPT, who is better than 90% of therapist at this, he wont let people gaslight you into submission for their convenience, no matter the social wiring towards subtle silencing of people boundaries in many contexts).



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Self compassion and self connection are not self-pity. In a society where "stop feeling sorry for yourself" is the only ...
13/04/2025

Self compassion and self connection are not self-pity. In a society where "stop feeling sorry for yourself" is the only thing we can hear when we are struggling emotionally it can be extremely hard for people to hear and learn how to love themselves. But when it's true sadness for yourself or a version or a part of yourself that is self compassion and self love.

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The one issue I have observed with "spiritual" or healing communities is that they bypass or avoid the topic of trauma. ...
11/04/2025

The one issue I have observed with "spiritual" or healing communities is that they bypass or avoid the topic of trauma. They often don't mention it, and simply focus on vague stuff such as "raise your vibrations" or "awake your kundalini". But True healing is healing and release the repressed emotions within, and free the locked hurt in your body cells, while changing and shifting the limiting beliefs deeply ingrained in your subconscious mind reconnecting your parts into a whole again (which is already there, the "you that is not a part", but is buried and not in command).

Awakening happens through healing, which in turns means going towards the trauma, the hurt, the repressed emotions and the core beliefs. "Spiritual practices" and pratictioners who avoid ever talking about trauma an jump into some awakening of "ultranatural" things are doing what is by now well-known and established: spiritual bypassing. LACK OF AUTHENTICITY will be the number 1 signal or alarm that such practice is doing so, or the inevitable results, when the word trauma, which should be at the center of the work, is altogether avoided.

If you had to grow up on your own, sooner than normal, and without support - you most likely will resent having to take ...
06/04/2025

If you had to grow up on your own, sooner than normal, and without support - you most likely will resent having to take care of yourself as an adult. That inner child is still there and what happened wasn't right.

It is crazy to me that so many content producers and coaches insist on the positive thinking thing. The MENTALITY point....
05/04/2025

It is crazy to me that so many content producers and coaches insist on the positive thinking thing. The MENTALITY point. It DOES NOT WORK for cPTSD. It can even lead to feel worse as the inability to sustain that can make people in recovery feel like it's their fault because that thought is their DEFAULT setting. The n1 problem they face is a very hidden, deep rooted conviction that they are FAULTY at their core (toxic shame). And as long as these core beliefs, which come with a deep sense of loss, possibly unbearable shame, are not SAFELY identified and held, the system will keep firing up negative beliefs because THEY PROTECT the system from perceived threats. They served a purpose─ they are what in IFS are called "protectors".

I don't deny that thinking more positively is beneficial and is what they need, but the key here is that they CANNOT do it on their own just yet, until the protector knows that it is safe to do so. Through IFS or another approach that reaches down to the subconscious mind. So stop your "mentality" s**t will ya?

This is a theme that is very close to my heart, not because I like it (it gives me a "yuck" feeling in my stomach everyt...
02/04/2025

This is a theme that is very close to my heart, not because I like it (it gives me a "yuck" feeling in my stomach everytime), but because I know how DIFFICULT it was for me and it is for MANY cPTSD survivors. You are used to have your truth DENIED via gaslighting and you were overpowered when you brain and understanding of the world and yourself was still forming. SO the amount of sheer FEAR that pops up when you set a boundary is huge, coupled with confusing and conflicting thoughts about whether you are right or wrong, arrogant or weak, and what sort of nasty punishment to expect. Doesn't help that in society if you don't do things a certain way you are then blamed for you reactions or the "way" you said certain things, irrespectively of the substance of the matter underneath.

The only thing you can do to enforce a boundary ultimately is walk away, and if that means (as it often does) a loss of friendship, relationship, family connection, or a JOB, a flat, that is HUGELY difficult. You are very brave and strong everytime you follow your deepest wisdom and find the courage to enforce a boundary, even if your pain and courage are not recognized by society they ARE absolutely THERE and the UNIVERSE sees you.

And that's ABSOLUTELY OK, even if society and people may try to make it feel wrong. It is normal to be more sensitive, t...
30/03/2025

And that's ABSOLUTELY OK, even if society and people may try to make it feel wrong. It is normal to be more sensitive, to be triggered more easily and to want to be treated with kindness and respect. This does not mean that it's ok to get too angry when others didn't mean ill, or make them walk on eggshells. It just means it's ok to have specific needs, triggers and boundaries that may be different from others, and to ask them to be respected. Society and people wouldn't have any issue with someone with a broken bone asking not to touch their leg, would they? You can use your triggers to navigate recovery and heal yes, but it's ok to ask and state your needs, including that of not being depleted, as you are using lots of your energy for healing. It's ok to need to have a house with no external noise, to sleep only in total dark or with no noises or listening to rainfall. It's ok to need meditation in the morning or at any specific time. IT IS OK.

Boundaries are extremely hard for a complex trauma survivor, because it's automatic responses aren't there, emotional si...
27/03/2025

Boundaries are extremely hard for a complex trauma survivor, because it's automatic responses aren't there, emotional signals are all over the place, and often, tremendous fear and guilt show up when they have to or are about to set a boundary.

The worst part of it is the internal gaslighting that makes doing something scary even harder, by telling them "they weren't really disrespected" "they didn't deserve it" - the internalized voice of the trauma or abuse. Imagining being attacked, gaslighted and abused, or rather, expecting that response, and having to face it internally is extremely draining. That's why often the easiest or only option available depending on the level of energy at their disposal, is to leave the situation. And the only thing you can do to enforce a boundary is to walk away, disengage. And that can mean huge loss, if it is a long-term friendship, a relationship, or a job. It's hard. Have compassion for yourself and support yourself in your bravery.

For people with complex trauma running through their systems, recovery is challenging and the core deep rooted idea that...
23/03/2025

For people with complex trauma running through their systems, recovery is challenging and the core deep rooted idea that they are "not good enough" is always there, affecting any aspects of their lives. But remember this:

1) Old patterns and beliefs are DEEPLY ingrained within your subconscious, like for everyone, while you CAN change them, it's hard and they are hard to shift, because they are not conscious, it's not about willpower, like society would like you to believe. You need to get to the root of the hidden beliefs or ideas running your system and patterns, only then you have a chance to change them.

2) The underlying idea that you are not good enough was created to manage a situation that was otherwise unmanageable. As long as toxic shame is not significantly healed, that feeling idea etc. that "you suck" you are doing something wrong, you are not doing enough will keep resurfacing.

Treat it like the rest of the triggers and feelings in your recovery, take distance, remember these are parts of you trying to protect you best they can, do NOT BUY into it, just observe and keep being kind and compassionate towards yourself. Breathe. Be infinitely patient with your traumatized self.

... which amounts to the same, that's a subconscious way to "abandon them" before they can abandon you. It's really stro...
20/03/2025

... which amounts to the same, that's a subconscious way to "abandon them" before they can abandon you. It's really strongly wired in our defense mechanisms, developed to protect us from abandonment.

It is very difficult to deal with the pain of abandonment, because it fuelled at some point a belief that "we are not worth loving, or staying with". That we are not good enough, and that belief is a terrifying monster lurking in our subconscious. That is what makes the pain of abandonment unbearable, and fuels the FEAR of being abandonment, which in turns backs all of our protective behaviours and copying mechanisms. One of which is abandoning people at the slightest sign of rejection...

The solution, as usual is the work on the inner child and the core beliefs, letting go of hurt fear and pain, and build a new belief of being "good enough" no matter what other people do.

Boundaries were and are for me one of the most difficult things to do and express. When you have a past of your limits n...
16/03/2025

Boundaries were and are for me one of the most difficult things to do and express. When you have a past of your limits not being respected, your hurt or vulnerability not being seen or heard, your heart and words not being acknowledged, it is extremely scary to set boundaries and limits. An inner gaslighting voice may be there saying that you don't deserve it, that is selfish, or a scared one saying the consequences will be dire. But a notion that helped me a lot, is that you don't have to do it perfectly, it doesn't matter if your voice shakes and your body trembles, that is a sign of how tremendously difficult this has been for you in the past, and how brave you are for expressing that boundary now. Trust it. And I know how difficult it is to do. Just doing it, however it comes out, is enough. Absolutely enough.

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