17/01/2026
Trauma is often represented in public spaces and media as war, violence, abuse, or sudden loss. Those things can definitely be traumatic, have a huge impact, and deserve a lot of care.
But for many people, their traumatic experiences are more nuanced or less overtly extreme.
Maybe you were loved in your childhood, but at the same time your caregivers were stressed, overwhelmed, or carrying their own pain that unfortunately spilled onto you.
Maybe a mom who loved you deeply also had very unpredictable moods, so you never knew how safe it was to relax.
Maybe a dad who loved you dearly but didn’t know how to express his emotions in a healthy and safe way, so you walked on eggshells to avoid his outbursts.
On the slides, I’m sharing examples of things that can be overwhelming on the inside and create wounds.
They can contribute to trauma, but they’re not a checklist and not a diagnosis. Two people can go through something similar and be affected very differently. As Gabor Maté describes it, trauma isn’t the event itself (the “what happened”), but what happened inside of you and the support you had at the time - the internal, physiological, and emotional response that can remain.
This also means the more subtle things on the second slide matter too. Growing up without emotional safety, or often feeling scared, confused, or alone with big feelings can shape a nervous system in deep ways.
Many people wait a long time to look for help because they think:
“Others had it worse.”
“Maybe it wasn’t bad enough.”
“Maybe it doesn’t count as trauma.”
You’re allowed to take your story seriously.
You’re allowed to seek support if that feels right for you. 💚
