Έλλα

Έλλα Energy Healer 🧿🪬
A Fiery Breath Of Fresh Air 💫

06/02/2026

Everyday I wake up and thank the heavens for making me a woman, not any kind of woman, one that rubs off men and insecure women the wrong way♀️👠

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Your ancestors are very real and present, whether you believe it or not! Something incredible happened to me last night....
04/02/2026

Your ancestors are very real and present, whether you believe it or not!

Something incredible happened to me last night...

So, my grand mother is a literal "mother of all nations". She was raised in Nigeria in her early years,got married to a Nigerian man and had two sons for him (of blessed memory now) before she went back to Cameroon, got married again and has other children.

She took both sons from the previous marriage with her but they were raised by her elder brother and even bore his name. The eldest, her first, had already been married and had my cousins before I became a bit familiar with them during holiday visits but due to him and his wife's early passing, I was privileged to grow up with his children. This back story I narrated is very important.

Here's the crux of the matter! I sometimes have bulk orders that take me to the market and yesterday was one of such days. Before now though, I've been seeing readings consistently about being protected by a male ancestor and I never thought to think about either of these two , I've always thought it was another uncle because of the way he'd been consistently showing up in my dreams to reveal certain things,so I thought he was the one.

Nevertheless I know there is something called "ancestors of place" and I've been venerating my ancestors who hailed from here once in a while.
The last reading I read, it said something along the lines of they'll do something physical and you will know! And I sometimes brush off these things with "well, I don't resonate with this one" wdym they'll do something physical? Abegoo, I don't want to see any one that's been dead for decades 😂.

I should have known in the market when I was buying mineral from this lady yesterday that I was to have an encounter with someone. This lady gave me my Pepsi, thanked me and blessed me and when I tried to return the blessing, I don't know why I said "may my ancestors bless you" but she refused oo. And started casting and binding that it's of the devil, blah blah blah that I need deliverance🤣🤣🤣 so I decided to play with her and said "careful ooo ma, no let me call my ancestors to pursue you ooo". She finally decided to run away 🤣🤣🤣.

Needless to say I got back very late, almost midnight and I wasn't feeling like using the cars stationed by the bus stop cus I wanted to go alone but they wanted to carry other people. Politely declined their offers and booked a bolt, dude came, started asking me for three times the amount shown on the app and I asked him to cancel.
Took my stuff and crossed to where buses for my area usually come by.
One did but the ladies with me were going to a different area and I couldn't go with them.
I decided the next bus that shows up, I'm hiring it and within minutes,one did!
Mind you when this man came, I did notice the similarity between him and my late uncle but thought well, people do look alike...he kept trying to strike up a conversation after we'd agreed on the price but kept refusing that I couldn't pay via transfer,he needs cash.

Told him I'd exhausted all my cash and only had 1k, na only transfer go complete the money. He accepted and joked that I would pay him more since it's transfer. Tbh, he was playful and conversant and I relaxed and decided to pay and he gave me his account number. Tell me why when I asked this man's name, he called out Charles A.... Both my late uncle's name.

I paused,looked at him again and he didn't look back but he was smiling.
I completed the transaction and casually told him that was my late uncle's name.
He asked me if the late man had been kind and I told him I thought so but I didn't really grow up with him. He took the conversation to my grandmother and I responded... He just kept smiling and saying that they were good people and honestly, even at this point, I still brushed it off with "coincidence" till we got to my gate and as I was struggling to get my keys from my bag, dude stopped the car and I think his "protective uncle instincts" crept in then said "do you need to call someone"? I said no, he said okay I'm going to wait till you get inside which I politely declined but he didn't budge till I got my keys, opened my gate and he bade me good bye and drove off.
All the while back inside my home, I kept ruminating about the stranger's kindness and similiarity in name before the reading played back in my head... I think it's the feeling Peter had when the c**k crowed the third time and he remembered Jesus's words... Then it occurred to me and I cried so hard, not pain, just happiness and would I say, I felt loved.
I don't know if I'll ever see him again but I know for a fact now that he's been one of the men protecting me since I moved here.
On a normal, I don't really pay attention to the other gender with my spiritual practices but I think my bias was a bit curtailed due to the events of last night.
I know I had a lot of thoughts about why he came to me and not his kids but I also know there are a lot of spiritual truths I'm comfortable with than most of my family members, hence their comfort in coming towards me

In other news, February is here and I've officially started taking bookings for sessions.
Happy New Month.

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Your Humiliation Ritual  I have a neighbor-turned friend who has a mini mart around where I live. She belongs to my whol...
30/01/2026

Your Humiliation Ritual

I have a neighbor-turned friend who has a mini mart around where I live.
She belongs to my wholesale group and patronizes me a lot and I do same.
So a few days ago, she called me to come collect money for some hairs and other items she saw;
I went there and we finished our business then I stayed back to gist about some mundane stuff.
The shop closest to hers is the laundromat I use regularly, owned by a guy!
For a brief moment, I was distracted with my phone and only came back to reality when I heard the laundromat guy screaming at her!
Mind you, this lady is a slow talker and usually has difficulty explaining herself fast and this guy was going at 1000 words a minute, even I couldn't keep up. I'm going to leave out the details of the whole brouhaha and focus on my message!

I can't say for sure that I know this lady 💯% but I know firsthand that what this guy was accusing her of was a lie, I didn't jump in immediately. I'm mature enough now to let everyone fight their demons and I know she had to grow some tough bones or at least skin!!!

Of course as a slow talker, she started crying when asked to explain what had happened because the incident drew in a crowd and I saw how red she was and I knew she felt more ashamed than hurt! I honestly felt sorry for her .
After she'd calmed down, she called her husband and I waited for him to arrive before I left!

As someone who's been through several humiliation rituals, I came to understand that when you are on the threshold of moving to a higher timeline, you need to shed parts of you that you don't need, like the people pleasing parts of you because of who you're becoming , they can not come with you!
This lady has something so major coming for her (that I know about) and her shadow sides have been popping up consistently for her to deal with in the form of people who don't like her and some who don't appreciate her.

I called her later that evening to check on her mental because I knew her energy was all messed up and she said she felt better but yesterday when I went there, she said she woke up the next day feeling like she shouldn't open the shop and just wanted to book a flight to Abuja🤣🤣🤣! Why, because she felt small, she felt humiliated and especially vulnerable but I saw the beauty in that!

Now your humiliation rituals will come in various forms, a divorce, a seperation from your best friend, loss of job, being dragged online, release of your segz tape etc but it's all for your own good.

As spirit in human form, we can't only depend on the ego, shame is the ego's largest fuel supply and the universe will definitely allow you go through the humiliation to center and align you.
Mine are many and only when I realized they happened for me and not to me did I start seeing great results.
So as someone who's had years of experience above her, I told her, "you should learn how to stay in your power when people come for you, it's not every barking dog you stop and throw a stone at".

Anyways she finally asked me what she could do to stop "feeling" things so much. I told her to start by accepting that she's a "bad" person 🤣🤣🤣🤌🏾🤌🏾🤌🏾.

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So I was having a convo about the post I made on overthinking with a friend and she pointed out to me that she resonated...
28/01/2026

So I was having a convo about the post I made on overthinking with a friend and she pointed out to me that she resonated with everything safe the creativity part because whenever she starts any creative venture, she's easily distracted and doesn't follow through or ends up not completely them! She's really one of the people I will diagnose with ADHD or ADD.
Well, here's my suggestion:

Get an accountability coach:
An accountability coach is someone who helps you do what you said you’d do consistently. It could be a a friend, partner or someone who likes you enough to set healthy boundaries and remind you about the promises you made to yourself. Pay them!!!

They don’t tell you what your goals should be. Instead, they help you follow through on the goals you already care about.

They break down your goals into actionable or smaller doable steps and they help set realistic deadlines for you!

This is 2026 and we should not be afraid to invest in ourselves!.
Your therapist can double as your accountability coach but accountability coaches are not therapists, it could be anyone you pay a small fee to ,to help you accomplish your goals!

Another way is by setting reminders and breaking the tasks yourself into smaller ,doable tasks.

Ask yourself what the creative project means to you🤷🏿‍♂️

Address what's actually causing the block! Why do you think you're unable to follow through and ask yourself how you can help yourself.
With these simpler steps, you will find that you don't get overwhelmed by thinking about the bulk of work you need to do to achieve completion.
Start today

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Let's talk about some woo woo science 😛 today. I call it woo woo science because as much as I would like to deny it, spi...
25/01/2026

Let's talk about some woo woo science 😛 today.

I call it woo woo science because as much as I would like to deny it, spirituality and science are very very interconnected.
I'll focus on hexxes and curses and one of the the easiest or should I say most difficult ways to get rid of them without actually doing incantations and spells.

Say, you and someone get into a nasty fight or argument and you fall out. You decide this person is too toxic for you and decide its best you cut them off and focus on yourself and what matters. You take your L in peace and part ways.
The other party,not so much! They feel like you need to be taught some lifelong lessons and you need to be humbled in ways that you can never fathom getting into it with anybody again.

So they take your picture or an item of yours to their babalawo/shrine/or they perform some spells on the picture or item of yours.
Or better still, they start a smear campaign against you, use some of your private vulnerable moments you shared with them against you and hire flying monkeys and even people they know hate you to spread vile rumors about you.
Because we are energy, we all have an auric field and items, or things we give attention to carry our energies, pictures, your name or any item that belongs to you carries your energy!
All of these can be used to do you harm.
I mean, just look at how society will hate someone when the media spreads some s**t about them, it follows them around for a very long time. So yes, smear campaign is a form of spiritual warfare.

Or someone places a curse on you!
I want you to know this, there's an energetic cord between you both and even if you're not aware of any magic done on you, it'll take form because they used your energetic signature albeit without your knowledge!

Now, we are mostly aware when someone places a curse on us during a fight but are usually unaware when the other party harbors hatred to the extent of metting out a punishment so dire that we may even loose our lives using spellwork!

Now, how can we get rid of this without doing incantations and spells?

Remember, I mentioned the method that I consider as easiest but could be very difficult for some which is .....

Healing!!!

Yes, most people are not aware that healing breaks curses and stops hexes and even returns the energy back to sender!

Now everything is energy and curses and spells that are meant to cause harm operate on lower frequency vibrations! That's why gossiping, smear campaigns and slander or abuse are all considered as lower vibrational activities! When you find out what has been spread about you,which is false, anger sets in , you're hurt and you obviously try to state your own side of the story but no one listens and the more you keep trying, the more you stay in that lower frequency! But the moment you stop explaining and accept what happened was a lesson, you have somehow taken your power back and it no longer has power over you but here's the kicker, that same energy of smear campaign has to go somewhere else since it no longer has a place in your auric field!

So if someone targeted, say, your money in the past using spells and even if you weren't aware and you seek therapy or self heal your money wounds, you're no longer vibrating on the same frequency as the hex and here's the great part... because energy cannot be destroyed, that energy that was put out ends up becoming a boomerang and goes back to sender!

That's why people who have done such workings end up thinking their targets are sending them spiritual attacks because the very energy they put out is returning back to them without the victim even lifting a finger!

You see, healing is so powerful that women were burnt at stakes in the past because of their ability to transmute negative energies by their oppressors !
Healing means giving yourself all the love you need and we all know that love is the highest frequency (perfect love casts out fear) it doesn't mean loving another,give love to you first!

I'm not going to be gatekeeping such information because we need to learn the power of healing.
We need to learn the truth that we can absolutely get ourselves out of every spiritual trap set by lower vibrational energies by simply calling our power back!
Now this is not to say that there aren't more forces that can totally kpai you, remember, I only mentioned one surefire way that I know for certain, works.
Note that there are other spiritual battles that need more than healing where they need to perform rituals, spells and return to senders!
But when you heal, your energy frequency changes, your nervous system is reset, you operate on a higher frequency and you actually align with your life's purpose, so my dears...heal!!!

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Men, men, men!!! There's a reason why I completely lost interest in talking about men and it honestly feels liberating. ...
23/01/2026

Men, men, men!!!

There's a reason why I completely lost interest in talking about men and it honestly feels liberating.
No hard feelings but I had to unfollow and unfriend certain pages because the male-centered content was too much and I was no longer aligned with that timeline.

Truth is, people will preach about women's rights, women empowerment and point out the evils men do but I rarely see people preaching about women taking responsibility for the part they play in their own sufferings when it comes to relationships with men.

The fact that a woman will get married to an "emotionally healthy" man and the world will put him on a pedestal is very worrisome because I believe that's how all humans should be. Every day, the saying that "a good man is an average woman" rings true because how many women do we celebrate for being good when they get entangled with men?

I knew there was a reason I loved intelligent men! I at least used to feel that at some level, the educated men will develop some emotional intelligence (EQ) at school that will require them treat me with respect but turns out they were all products of their mothers' parenting!
If a man is "good"; aka emotionally healthy, look at the woman who raised him and if he's bad, still look the same way.

I saw many takes on the lady whose husband slept with the maid. Of course she , like many women out here like to garner praise and support from the online community even when they're going through horrible abuse until s**t hits the fan.
I honestly don't pity women crying out on the internet about men anymore.
No matter how rich and beautiful you are, no matter how educated and put together you seem, your relationship with men is only as good as the relationship you have with yourself!

I teach self-autonomy, I talk about being and living authentically because that's the only thing that can help you when you need to leave.
A man sleeping with the maid has nothing to do with his wife but because of internalized misogyny and self-hatred, we tend to interpret that as a man demeaning the woman, we leave the man and make the issue about his wife, blaming her for not being present enough,not loving him enough or not taking care of of him enough, forgetting that it was the man who took his weiner to someone else because he lacks self love to sustain his be****al desires.
It doesn't matter how you treat a maid, it's not going to stop a man from sleeping with her if he wants. We can't control anyone, we can only control ourselves and it's sad that people think they can do anything to control others.
I've been a manager several times and asked my subordinates to call me by my name, I treated everyone with respect because I was secure within and didn't need to put anyone down to feel great or be a great leader! Till date, I still operate that way because I'm not above nor beneath any human, we're all here to serve a universal purpose and most people who seem powerless in the physical realm occupy very high spiritual positions that the ordinary eye can't see.

We see women who used to give hot takes about how they can't listen to men, are begging attention from the same gender they claim to hate behind closed doors; why, because they do not believe that they're whole.
Another reason is because they're performative, " if I support this person's point of view, it means I'm not a pick-me" 👋🏾 "Hello...get down"
You're still a pick me dearest dear, not only for men,but for women too!

They read from us but have not put in the work to come to that place where they know that they really don't need men in their lives and sadly,many of us don't know that it's only when we truly truly feel safe with ourselves that we attract a partner that mirrors what we really are! Quote me anywhere, your partner mirrors the level of love you give to yourself ".

This will trigger many unhealed women but it's your call to really face your shadow. Your competition is not the other woman you're looking down on, your competition is the one staring right back at ya in the mirror; face her!!!

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If you're an overthinker,this is for you. If you've been reading from this page, you'll know that I don't approach menta...
22/01/2026

If you're an overthinker,this is for you.

If you've been reading from this page, you'll know that I don't approach mental health issues the conventional way. I don't believe in certain diagnoses because they're based on superficiality.
I have seen so many people in recent times associate themselves with ADHD and autism simply because it's widely believed that ADHD and autistic people are super intelligent. People forget the nuances that come with these disorders and operate solely on ego to be considered as smart. That's by the way.

There are also a variety of reasons on the internet as to what may be the cause of ADHD. Let's focus here on ADHD.
In the most simplest of terms, I consider people with ADHD as people with overthinking brains.
The forgetfulness, the hyperactivity, the inattentiveness , the difficulty following through , difficulty with routines , sensitivity to stimuli and most especially, emotional disregulation all result from a brain that doesn't rest!
Some experts seem to think it developed from when their mothers were pregnant with them and they were under severe stress, or the environment and genetics all contribute to a child developing ADHD.

ADHD: Attention-deficit, Hypersensitivity Disorder.

When a child doesn't feel safe and is not provided healthy coping mechanisms like outlets for anger, when they're shunned after being scolded, when they're abused and told not to cry, when they're silenced , they resort to creating safe spaces in their minds. They know that the present moment is an unsafe space, so they go ahead and live in their heads where they not only feel safe, but feel understood!.
No, this is not the same as getting imaginary friends, it's possible but as a spiritual person , I know that some "imaginary friends" are actually real to those who see them.

Now imagine growing up with blth parents, one is abusive and the other is passive, the child waits for the passive parent to stand up for them to no avail and overtime, they realize that will never happen and they find the best way to cope...they go inwards, hence the distraction, the forgetfulness, the daydreaming, the hypersensitivity because where they are internally is better than what is happening physically to them.

As adults, we do this by constantly worrying about the future, we go inwards and paint scenarios in our heads about our relationships etc.
Some adults go inwards and create scenarios where they will be safe like build houses, buy cars, make money etc, all is done in a bid to create a safe space for them. It's not only about negative thinking .

Another example is when you have only dated narcissists and meet someone who truly cares, you don't believe them because it's not what you're used to, so you go inwards and create scenarios that aren't there till you even hurt yourself in the process and end up sabotaging your relationship because of the emotional disregulation.
What these people need to do is channel that thinking towards creative pursuits as adults. Even exercise helps stop them from thinking too far ahead. The subconscious likes what is familiar and what feels safe. So if all romantic relationships have always ended up with nasty breakups,the overthinking mind goes ahead to create that scenario and prepares for the great kill so that it corroborates the familiar feeling of knowing what comes ahead-a break up!

I'm an overthinker but I channel that towards my creative pursuits, writing, reading, creating designs, I especially love redesigning and it has helped me stay in the present moment rather than venture out into the wilderness.
We see that everything is interconnected.
Are you an overthinker?
How do you cope?

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A lady (emphasis on the gender is important) went and dug information about Shera Seven and called her a fraud because a...
16/01/2026

A lady (emphasis on the gender is important) went and dug information about Shera Seven and called her a fraud because apparently, Shera is a victim of domestic abuse from her husband James.

She said Shera's husband beat her up when she tried to leave him after discovering that he wasn't as rich as he "pretended" to be .
That that's why she's chronically online doing videos and sourcing income from there.
She also stated how Shera came from a poor background etc.
All those are really not important but what I noticed was how this person bashing Shera looked like those baby mamas with five baby daddies, she looked like she didn't have anything good going for herself and needed to take out her frustrations on someone who was using the lessons she'd learned from life to make an impact on others.

You see, it's so sad that some women hate women, especially women who have something good going for them, it's very true and it's especially true that women hate women who survived and overcame their pasts and integrated their shadows.
While I've grown past the era of wanting the soft life from a man, I'll forever be a Shera stan because that woman has opened the eyes of so many women and even men.
Women have learnt to put themselves first, women have learnt to take care of their looks, women have learnt to tax for their values, men have learnt how to take care of women, men have learnt to evolve, men have learnt that they're easily successful when providing due to Shera....but no, it sufficed one pick-me from the ghetto to try to shame her using her past.

The people who refuse to address themselves do not like people who have faced their own demons and I can't emphasize this enough. Till date, they stalk, still talk s**t and pocket watch to see if their smear campaigns are succeeding.
This is something I've been seeing repeatedly even with my recent clients. They're in therapy because they're dealing with people who have refused to evolve and as long as you keep entertaining such people , you're stifling your own growth.
I know Shera doesn't give a rat's ass about someone's opinion about her life but that woman should be celebrated as the biggest female influencer for how inspiring she's been to the demographic of people that listen to and learn from her.
It's just like what I had been through, I use every experience to teach us self autonomy and sovereignty but it's still women who attack me the most or try as much as possible to humble me , steal my content and try to discredit me.
Look at my size,🤣 even that one sef no small and you expect me to play small for you to feed your stewpid ego? If you don't get di p***k...

Anyways, my only point is that hating on someone who's fulfilling their life's purpose won't stop the universe from blessing them,no matter what secrets you expose about them. If Shera had not ditched shame, if I had not ditched shame, we wouldn't be sharing tips that worked for us!
And if anyone is looking for information about me to use to shame me, hit me up let me gist you, I have once been threatened to be exposed by a man and I provided him with the biggest blogger's contact in Cameroon to help him. I've never been the one to fear the opinion of mere mortals and never will be. You can't shame the shameless.



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When I was in church I was taught the concept of knowing the football score before watching the match, knowing we won br...
13/01/2026

When I was in church I was taught the concept of knowing the football score before watching the match, knowing we won brought peace of mind.
Now, this was how my late pastor put it. She said as a believer, you're supposed to not worry because it's found in the Bible 365 times, so one "do not worry" for each day.

Anywho, she used the football analogy and said believers are on the winning side of a football match and even if they've not predicted it yet, their team has already won. I mean, it's a positive way to approach life but I don't think she knew she was actually preaching about a regulated nervous system.
Now, this is what an author describes as your nervous system 👇🏿
"Your nervous system is an intricate network of nerves and cells responsible for communicating with all the other systems in your body and telling them how to respond to different situations."

In simple terms, the nervous system communicates with the cells that comprise tiny fractures and tells them how to function. Those tiny fractures are known as mitochondria.
I'm sure some of us have come across the term but not fully grasped the concept.

Let me drag you guys back to the post I made late last year about angels and cells/atoms. I'm sure some of you remember the link I made between the two. I'll add the link in the comments for those interested to read.

Since we've established that mitochondria make energy for the cell to function, we have to also establish that it's what really helps the cells to regulate our nervous systems.

So there is constant communication within the body between the nerves and cells that are powered by the mitochondria. Picture a city and powerplants, the cell is the city, the powerplants that provide electricity and other supplies are mitochondria.
The amazing part, we inherit mitochondria from our mother's mothers i.e maternal grandmothers.
So, however you turn out, was how they did or would have or should have. I mean that if for example you have fibroids, you got it from them, if you have gay tendencies as a woman, side-eye your judgemental grandmother 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

Anyways,
Mitochondria is really the powerhouse fueling your cells that inform the nervous system and you can change it by simple communication. I'm not talking about changing your sexual preferences, I'm talking about anything about yourself that you don't like ,you can change it, you have a billion cells waiting for you to simply give them orders and they'll bring you a desired result!

E.g when you constantly worry about the future, if you're going to survive or be successful, the cells interpret this constant worry as something you want and communicate it with your nervous system which now multiples it, it gives you more things to be worried and anxious about.

Same with fears, it multiplies and gives you more things to be afraid of, but the moment you switch from the regular worry to worrying less, it takes a little time but you'll start seeing changes.

Another example is hating yourself because society hates you, say for being gay, you'll experience more hatred but once you stop and start pouring in to yourself, you find yourself attracting people who do same. That's why they say everything is as real as our projections of them or our reality is only a figment of our imagination and we can absolutely change it !
You see the word "consistently", it interprets as repeatedly in this stance and we know that stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results whilst change happens the moment we choose to do things differently.
So pick your struggle.

Ps, pictures are screenshots of a former client's message, she permitted me to share.

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If you're easily triggered, please scroll. And it's a long read btw. So I've noticed that there seems to be a correlatio...
09/01/2026

If you're easily triggered, please scroll.
And it's a long read btw.

So I've noticed that there seems to be a correlation between narcissism and biting.
I haven't searched deep enough about it but I have found too many narcissistic abuse survivors who have had the same experience of being bitten by their narcissistic mothers especially ; (parents although I'm yet to meet survivors of fathers who used their teeth) partners or siblings. I have two bite mark scars from my mother, one on my arm and another on my shoulder, the one on my shoulder has slowly disappeared but the one on my arm is still there and I sometimes look at it and laugh now but it's not a funny story to share with anyone no matter how healed I am!

Now, that doesn't mean if someone bites you, it means they're narcissistic, I have used my teeth to defend myself when I was almost being killed but it's different. I'm talking about people who have the ability to physically suppress you and still use their teeth as one of their many weapons against you!
I'm talking about someone already inflicting pain on you and to show you just how much they hate you, bite you.
I can't count how many videos I've come across on tiktok where children specifically were showing the bite wounds inflicted on them by their mothers and funny enough, amongst almost ten of them, I've always asked for their signs and got about five Sagittariuses. It's not specific to but it's very prominent with some Sagittarius to have one or both abusive parents. This post is not about Sagittarius btw, it's an awareness post!

Last year, I was determined to sabotage someone on tiktok who claims she was a diagnosed narcissist but she wants to change and go ahead and rebuild her relationship back with her kids.
It seemed so noble and a lot of us survivors stumbled across that post and were bewildered at the fact that a narcissist was taking accountability.
I made a comment that I'"m not sure how to feel about it and I don't really think I will believe this because it's a tactic narcissists use to coerce their prey into breaking no contact" and fair enough, she attacked me!
Said she doesn't blame me because I'm broken, bla fu***ng bla and I responded that I knew it, this was still one of their many masks. You see, her two children have been estranged from her for years and moved away and wanted nothing to do with her but she was still breaking boundaries by even using their ordeal to create content! They have no chill. They never truly change!
It's a pity that so many abuse survivors are silenced into sharing their pain or feel too ashamed of what happened to be able to open up, I know this, I used to be ashamed to talk about my mother's abuse because besides sounding crazy, I will be blamed, it seemed unnatural.

Anyways, I went ahead and bought a mic and ring light, determined to stop that woman on tiktok by creating awareness content! (Although the items both got bad and I retreated but I followed her and commented that I will be keeping a close eye on her 😂) And either she blocked me or stopped cus I obviously can't find her anymore but oh well.

Anyways, the point I'll like to make is this; I always have written that narcissists don't change and if you're good at pattern recognition, you'll know how to easily deal with them by detaching from all and every emotion within when you're in close contact with them- if you must!
They always look for ways to rile you up and they will attack your dignity in ways that will usually force you to respond reactively. Please don't! It's one of the reasons why I teach about ditching shame because they'll tell embarrassing tales about you even if it's not true.

So many times, I always rushed to defend myself everytime an accusation was made about me in relation to my mother!

Like when she first called me a bastard, yes my mother who birthed me told me one day after I mustered the courage to ask her to show me my father. She said where is this one coming from and I said , your parents have been repeatedly calling me a bastard and she retorted that "but aren't you a bastard?" 😂😂😂
Imagine the cognitive dissonance and gaslighting.
Mind you, her parents also have children we'll consider bastards but because they knew that I will be riled up, they kept repeating that same "insult" over and over and I kept breaking down over and over, why?

Because I felt helpless and I had the worst nervous system.
Eventually when I started healing, I could see and respond to that behavior or insult from a place of calm and reminded said grand parents about the bastards they have littered everywhere , known and unknown and I reminded my mother that it wasn't I who opened her legs to get pregnant and keep a child they knew they didn't want! Needless to say, that insult couldn't fly anymore and even if cousins or anyone used it , I made sure to go to hell with my own insults against them.

Yes it'll label you as the worst person on earth but that's the kind of Pound of flesh I like to have. Not revenge on men for cheating or friends who betray me!
Needless to say, that particular insult stopped. And it got me aquainted with insults from strangers and I always responded by withdrawing access.

You see, a regulated nervous system is an automatic boundary, it lets people know how you like to be loved and if they can't do it, they can get the f**k out!

In previous posts, I've said we should change the way we react to things and we will be aligned but most people are stuck with repeating the patterns. Feeling sorry for yourself won't solve your problems but when you face circumstances with a different approach, you'll notice a shift and better results or a better life.

You could see how crying over and over about the same thing only caused me more despair .
Mind you for years I cried about it and many people didn't believe me till I stopped crying and responded.
Crying was me reacting, responding was me reinforcing boundaries.

In psychological lingua, what my mother and her parents did is what's considered as "projection or projecting". Just like a cousin of mine who stole feeding money one holiday season. I was rarely home because of the crowd but unbeknownst to me, this girl gathered everyone around and told them I was the culprit. If her own sister hadn't witnessed it and told on her, that story will still hold till date.
Just keep in mind that people accusing you of exactly what they should be ashamed of are projecting because of the deep-seethed shame they would rather not face in themselves.
Stop internalizing abuse, recognize it for what it is and learn from it.

I hope you enjoyed my family lore; stay tuned for more when I feel like it🤌🏿🤌🏿🤌🏿

©Εγγα

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