05/03/2025
**Education Use**
Created by Dr. Elaine Houston.
CBT EXERCISE:
SELF-FORGIVENESS LETTER
The process of self-forgiveness includes a series of changes in motivation. These changes reflect a desire to disengage in self-punishment and act more benevolently toward ourselves [1]. Self-forgiveness occurs when an individual accepts responsibility for past transgressions [2] and expresses a willingness to move forward without ruminating over
wrongdoings that cannot be changed [3]. We all behave in ways that cause harm or upset to ourselves and others; however, living with the reality of those actions can be damaging to psychological wellbeing [4]. Failure to forgive the self can create feelings of shame, guilt, and self-resentment [4]; diminish our sense of self-worth and self-respect; and lead to rumination about past transgressions [1].
A four-stage therapeutic model of self-forgiveness [6] suggests four essential steps to self-forgiveness: a) accepting responsibility for the transgression and its consequences; b) expressing remorse, which is characterized by feelings like guilt and regret; c) restoration, attempting to make amends for mistakes; and d) renewal, finding ways to learn from the
experience and work toward compassion, acceptance, and respect for oneself [6].
REFERENCES:
1. Hall, J. H., & Fincham, F. D. (2005). Self-forgiveness: The stepchild of forgiveness research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 24, 621-637.
2. Jacinto, G. A., & Edwards, B. L. (2011). Therapeutic stages of forgiveness and selfforgiveness.
Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 21, 423-437.
3. Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3, 400-424.
4. Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2003). Shame and guilt. Guilford Press.
5. Wohl, M. J. A., & McLaughlin, K. J. (2014). Self-forgiveness: The good, the bad, and the ugly. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 8
6. Cornish, M. A., & Wade, N. G. (2015). A therapeutic model of self-forgiveness with
intervention strategies for counselors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 93,
96-104.