Karin Kempf Counseling and Therapy

30/07/2025

I really like this post because it talks about the foundations of what emotional health are. You might be able to get there on your own, maybe therapy can help you get there. This is for all of us, therapists and other people alike. 🌳❤️

30/07/2025

How will this land with the other person?

In couples work, I say this a lot.

Not because people are mean—but because most people are scared, rushed, or reactive.

They say what they think, what they fear, what they **assume** the other person needs to hear.

But they rarely pause to ask, *How is this going to feel when it lands?*

The difference between defensiveness and empathy often comes down to that one pause.

One moment of imagining the impact before we deliver the words.

It doesn’t mean holding back the truth.

It just means delivering it in a way the other person can actually receive.

Has this worked for you? Share in the comments.

29/07/2025

27/07/2025

24/07/2025

Some excellent tips here. (I’m taking notes, too!)

Healthy relationships require intentional actions from both parent and adult child.

You are not entitled to access in relationships.

19/07/2025

18/07/2025

It really doesn’t have to be fireworks every time in order to be good, or to serve an important purpose. It’s ok to just have bread and butter for dinner sometimes.

15/07/2025

15/07/2025

And on the rails of my last post… ⬇️

You will inevitably feel disconnected at times. You’ll feel disappointed and let down, under appreciated or deprioritized. You’ll feel unacknowledged or taken for granted. The examples are endless. But what you do with these experiences is absolutely vital to the health and security of your relationship. We don’t teach the value and the skillset of repair. For so many of us, we didn’t see it modeled in our childhoods and we certainly didn’t learn about it in school. And now, we’re left with an atrophied muscle that thinks avoiding conflict, brushing it under the rug, letting enough time pass, winning, dominating, or proving your point is the way. It’s not.

Repair says “Let’s figure this out together”. It says “Your experience is just as important as my experience and vice versa.” It says, “We find our way back when we’re both regulated.” It says, “We know that hard moments won’t break us.” It says, “I want to learn more about your story that informs this moment for you.” It says, “I have the capacity to take ownership, acknowledge, and apologize.” It says, “Hard moments actually allow me to learn something new about myself and you, and I’m curious as to what that is.”

But repair is easier said than done. And what I find really helpful as a starting point is to identify the constraints to repair. What gets in the way? What keeps me from repairing with you? For so many who struggle with repair, it’s because we have a history with conflict that doesn’t feel safe. Conflict and hard moments in our past mean something - abandonment, punishment, abuse, disconnect, loss of power, and so forth. Might you start here? Repair might feel so entirely unfamiliar to you. It’s not a lived experience or something you can even trust in your body. So big breaths as you work your way towards a new way of being and relating.

Want my free teaching on What Goes Into A Great Apology? Comment APOLOGY and I’ll send you a link to get it.

15/07/2025

There will *always* be a point when disagreement or conflict, or a sore spot being activated happens. It’s a normal part of relationships. The question is not how to avoid all ruptures in a relationship, but *how* do we handle them when they do. THAT’S what makes the real difference.

Research consistently shows that ruptures (i,e., disagreements or conflict) are a normal part of any relationship. What truly predicts the outcome isn’t whether conflict happens, but how we repair it. The most important thing is to clearly communicate about the issue, hear the other person’s perspective, and take accountability for your actions.

Sometimes people get stuck on how to even start the conversation, so here are some ways to ensure the other person is in the same mind-space as you to talk things through

We cannot force others to talk about a situation if they aren’t ready to do so themselves. Moreover, disagreements may exacerbate when the other person is forced into having a conversation and hasn’t had time to process the situation yet. If the person mentions that they are not ready to talk, just let them know you are ready and will wait for them until they feel the same. That is the most we can do.

One thing that really helps me center myself during difficult conversations is asking myself: What do I really need right now? Usually the answer is fixing the tension that the disagreement has caused and being on good terms again. I hold on to this need as I approach the conversation and communicate it with the other person. I truly believe that being honest, vulnerable, and authentic is crucial for a positive outcome during difficult conversations

How do you usually approach conversations after a disagreement? What works best for you?.

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ❤️

Note: I encourage you to use the information I share on here as a guide. Everyone’s experience is unique so some strategies/tools might not be relevant to your specific situation