Toxic Leadership Vent

27/11/2024

"I had my workplace failing me, but also my family doctor of over 20 years. She was just about to retire, and after 4 months of under-diagnosing me as having burnout, she said to me, "You just need to go back to work. People expect you to be better by now". She pushed for a Return to Work Plan and I felt she was leading me to my death. In fear and confusion, I could not challenge her or seek a second opinion. Who would believe me over an established medical professional? That doctor caused and enabled further bullying and further damages. Meanwhile, I felt like a failure at recovery."

What happens when you turn for help and those trained and paid to have your back fail miserably?

VENT brings you this Real Story of neglect in a time of need to illustrate how incompetence and ignorance enables abuse in the workplace multiplying its lasting negative impact.

Read the Story here: https://www.toxicleadershipvent.com/en/experiences/failed_by_the_systems

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VENT is THE platform addressing experiences of toxic leadership through storytelling and research.

We bring together multidisciplinary collaborators, survivors, and technology to reduce the impact of toxic leadership on individuals, communities, businesses, and the environment.

Through educational campaigns, research, and powerful storytelling, we shed light on real experiences, offering insights to inspire change!

29/10/2024

The power of a toxic leader lays in their ability to control the perception of reality of the people they lead.

Does that make them toxic?

No.

A good leader also paints a reality and depends on their people believing in it.

The problem is when the reality is based in fear:
◼ fear of failure
◼ fear of rejection
◼ fear of loss
◼ fear of not being good enough
◼ fear of having no voice
◼ fear of being a fraud
◼ fear of having no other option

Toxic leader has all or some of these fears, which is why they know what buttons to press and how to manipulate the fear.

The fear comes from how we were raised, how we were educated, how we were born. Some things we cannot change, some we can.

👉 The more fears you have, the easier for a toxic leader to manipulate your reality.

What can you do about it?

👉 Identify what your fears are and do whatever is in your power to develop yourself emotionally, physically, psychologically, professionally.

It doesn't matter how small the steps you take are, as long as you take them. Keep moving forward, developing yourself and reducing the fear.

👉 Toxic leader has only as much power over your well-being as you give them.

And remember, with so many fears fuelling their harmful behaviour - they are more afraid of you than you are of them.

21/09/2024

One of the main characteristics of dysfunctional, toxic leaders is that they will do anything to get what they want.

👉They want you to commit - they will shower you with promises and make you feel special.
👉They want more of your time than they pay for - they will manipulate and pressure you.
👉They want you to obey and keep quiet - they will punish you for speaking up and threaten your job security.
👉 They don't want you to outshine them - they will make themselves look like a victim or claim your wins to be theirs.

Sometimes it's tricky to spot that kind of employer because often they present themselves as the dream-boss. So inspiring, so considerate, so accomplished.

Their team/company/organization seems like a dream and so does the job description PLUS they are so impressed by YOU.

You are as much of their dream-come-true and even their savior, as they are all these amazing thigs to you.

So what could go wrong?

The moment you expect to get all the things you agreed on, that's when the honeymoon phase is over. You holding up your end of the deal is not enough. You should go along with everything and anything they throw at you and never draw extra attention to your needs, struggles or wins.

Either make their life easier and add to their shine - or learn how inadequate, difficult and worthless you really are.

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Through anonymous interviews, VENT collects stories of people's experiences of incivility and exploitation in a work context.

Visit us at www.toxicleadershipvent.com

16/09/2024

"Is it not the expectation that if I want to get promoted I should exercise the behaviours of someone at the next level? I don't understand why it feels like I am being penalized?

It's like you're telling me to stay in my place and stop being so overly ambitious.

This is where I get concerned about the bias.
Am I being judged on my competence or is it just whatever you feel like?".

There is no question about the levels of insecurity of toxic leaders. They are high.

They simultaneously see themselves as superior and are terrified of being outshined, especially by those they believe to be "below" them.

Have you ever worked with a leader who tried to gaslight and belittle you by shaming and sabotaging your efforts to improve yourself?

22/07/2024

✴ Why do we follow toxic leaders and why are they tolerated, even sometimes preferred?

Because of our fears and emotions, which they address and manipulate.

The less self-aware we are, the more susceptable to exploitative tactics of self-serving, harmful leaders.

One of the world's top experts on toxic leadership, prof. Lipman-Blumen, identifies the most important psychological drivers as:

👉 Need for security
👉 Need to feel chosen
👉 Need for membership in a community
👉 Fear from ostracism, isolation and social death
👉 Fear of personal powerlessness vis a vis the toxic leader
👉 Need to grow and maintain high self-esteem, opportunities for heroism

✴ Because toxic leaders strongly appeal to our existential fears and psychological needs, it takes time, patience and strategy to become immune to their tactics.

The first step is always to focus on strengthening yourself emotionally and spiritually. This is the preparation stage necessary to build individual resistance.

As prof. Lipman-Blumen writes: "Changing oneself, demanding as that may be, is always easier than changing others and the society."

22/07/2024

Can you tell if you are working for a toxic boss simply by feeling a certain way?

We have conducted over 100 international interviews and the patterns are very clear.

Do you identify with this person's experience?
What have you observed help people be successful with a toxic leader? Have you tried any of these methods?

Can you tell if you are working for a toxic boss simply by feeling a certain way?Do you identify with this person's experience?What have you observed help pe...

18/07/2024

Toxic leadership, a consistent behaviour by a leader allowed to access and/or remian in power despite their harmful impact and self-serving decision-making is too often addressed as an interpersonal issue, where individuals simply can't get along or are misunderstood.

When we focus on interpersonal misalignements, pointing fingers at individuals, the real issue gets diluted.

For a leader to be toxic/narcissistic, there has to be an element of consistency, a pattern of abuse, and lasting harmful impact.

Examples:

👉 Favoritism: Unequal treatment of employees based on personal preferences rather than merit
👉 Bullying and Intimidation: Using threats, humiliation, or aggressive behavior to assert control
👉 Discrimination: Making decisions or taking actions based on race, gender, age, sexual orientation, or other protected characteristics
👉 Lack of Transparency: Withholding important information or being secretive about organizational decisions
👉 Abuse of Authority: Using one's position to demand personal favors or preferential treatment that is unrelated to job performance
👉 Neglecting Employee Development: Failing to provide opportunities for growth, training, or career advancement
👉 Inconsistent Policies: Applying rules and policies unevenly
👉 Excessive Work Demands: Setting unrealistic expectations or overloading employees with work without proper support or recognition
👉 Promoting a Culture of Fear: Creating an environment where employees are afraid to speak up or express dissenting opinions
👉 Ethical Violations: Engaging in or endorsing unethical behavior such as falsifying reports or engaging in fraudulent activities
👉 Retaliation: Taking adverse actions against employees who report misconduct or voice concerns
👉 Neglecting Work-Life Balance: Ignoring the need for employees to maintain a healthy work-life balance, leading to excessive stress, burnout, and diminished overall well-being.

The reason, why people who operate like this access and stay in power, is a system which holds none of them accountable for the harm caused. Better yet - the system often rewards quick-wins benefitting few over sustainable, healthy practices benefitting many.

How can we change this?
Follow VENT and:

👉 educate yourself and others on the topic of toxic leadership
👉 share lived experiences to highlight the patterns of harmful behaviour by toxic leaders
👉 build solidarity and shift the shame from target to abuser
👉 normalize leadership's accountability not only in financial and business growth terms, but also in terms of the well-being of the people they lead

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📢 Want to learn more about toxic leadership or to contribute your story to reaseach/creation of educational materials?
🔺 Visit our website: www.toxicleadershipvent.com

18/06/2024

When the expectations people have of you are simultaneously extremely low and unrealistically high, the space was not created for you to thrive in it - it was created to exploit you.

When both men and women in that workplace race to the top pulling each other down, and elbowing all the way up - no matter how much you hope for a change, that kind of culture was developed on purpose and is there to stay.

The question is - should you?

When the expectations people have of you are simultaneously extremely low and unrealistically high, the space was not created for you to thrive in it - it wa...

07/06/2024

People remember how you made them feel - whether you knocked them down to make yourself feel in control, or you put your ego aside and showed kindness even in the toughest of moments. Being unkind to employees is the most effective way to burn bridges 🔥

04/06/2024

An unexpected "dream job" offer quickly turned into a living hell after signing a non-compete.

Toxic leaders use deception and manipulation to get what they want without taking any responsibility for negatively impacting people's lives, relationships and health.

The part about bullying is not in this snippet but the impact it had is, so if you are sensitive to hearing voices full of pain, this is your trigger warning.

Shout out to Workplace Bullying Project and Workplace Bullying Institute, who get a mention in this interview for helping people find solidarity and support.

29/05/2024

Toxic leadership benefits from exploiting people - their circumstances, vulnerabilities, fears and needs. In this story, our he**in shares experiences of her and her colleagues being set up to fail, gaslighted and pressured into handling unmanagable amounts of work.

With no training, no support on the job, no transparent communication and constant passive aggressive behaviours from senior staff, one by one the team are deemed unprofessional underperformers.

19/05/2024

Why do we follow toxic leaders?
We don't recognize them for who they are as they create great illusions and prey on the most desperate and on the most opportunistic.

Under the disguise of a savior, they create narratives and legends of their superiority:
- exceptional strategic foresight
- unparalleled experience
- divine support
- outstanding competence
- supernatural powers

The success of a toxic leader depends on how well they hide their true intentions behind grand gestures, powerful speeches and out-of-proportion generous initiatives.

How much power and influence these leaders get, depends on how well they convince others of the validity of their approach, which is so grand, that it simply cannot deliver on its promise.

💥 Beware of those who portray themselves and their quest as the one and only valid solution to the wolrd's biggest problems; an answer to your prayers; a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; a prestigious group you simply must be part of if you have anythig of value to offer.

Why do we follow toxic leaders?
Because we love to be part of something impactful, that has a meaning.

Just be careful not to get blinded by the shiny grand illusions, which have roots in greed for influence, recognition and/or money, and very little to do with making actual difference in the world.