
02/09/2025
“Mum, you don’t need to film right now. Just keep it as a memory in your head.”
This is what my daughter told me a couple of days ago at the pool during our holiday in Spain.
For those of you who saw my post earlier this summer about limiting my daughter’s phone use, here’s the update.
Five weeks later…
The biggest lesson for both of us was clear: when the device is physically near you, you’ll reach for it much more easily. But if it’s in another room—you simply forget about it.
I remember reading about this in the book 'Reclaiming Conversation' a few years ago: even just having a phone on the table while you’re talking changes the quality of the conversation, even if you don’t touch it.
We agreed that my daughter could use her phone for 30 minutes a day. We stuck to it—with only two exceptions—and on longer car rides she was allowed to listen to music.
What I noticed in her:
She read 12 books.
She forgot about her phone and started noticing the world around her.
She had fewer headaches and slept better.
She was more focused and less irritable.
What I noticed in myself:
How dependent I’ve become on answering messages immediately.
How challenging it is to model the behaviour I want her to follow.
How addicted I’ve become to using my phone as a camera.
On the days I used my phone less, I noticed more of the beautiful nature around me and even had spontaneous small talks on my morning walks.
I’m actually prouder of my daughter than of myself—she handled this experiment with more understanding than I expected. Of course, there were fights over why she doesn’t have Snapchat like “all the other kids,” but overall, I think this gave her a taste of what childhood in the 90s felt like—less screen time, more real-life experiences.
I once read that “phones are the drug, and parents are the drug dealers.” Harsh, yes—but there’s some truth to it. Phones are addictive, and as parents, we hold the power to either hand them over freely or create boundaries.
Limiting my daughter’s phone use has been one of my biggest challenges as a mother this past year. I often feel alone in this battle, as I don’t know many other parents with the same rules. I also know there’s a risk: she might rebel and become a phone addict later. I can’t control the outcome.
But here’s the thing: parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about choosing your battles. And for now, this one is worth it.
Love,
Katarina