
19/07/2024
What I am versus what I should be
(The endless pursuit of self-acceptance)
Many years ago, I attended a seminar about self-acceptance.
One of our exercises was called “Face and Unveil Your Inner Critic.”
We created a table with two columns: "What I Should Be" and "I AM." For example, under "What I Should Be," I wrote, "I should be totally ambitious and goal-oriented." In the "I AM" column, I wrote the simple truth about myself: "I am mildly ambitious and live mostly in the now."
This exercise, created by Shai Tubali, Ph.D., showed me how much self-judgment and self-criticism I had. I was trying to be someone I was not, causing unnecessary pain. By comparing my expectations with my reality, I realized the importance of accepting who I truly am.
In our journey towards self-acceptance, many of us face an internal conflict. The mind, shaped by societal norms and external comparisons, creates a relentless pursuit of perfection, leaving us feeling inadequate and unworthy. The heart, however, offers a different perspective. It sees us as complete and valuable in the present moment, embracing our flaws as part of our unique structure.
True self-acceptance is a profound spiritual experience, a connection to greater wholeness and divinity. By aligning our mind with the heart’s wisdom, we can experience inner peace and self-confidence. Reflecting on these ideas, we realize that listening to the heart’s affirmation of our worth helps us transcend the mind’s limitations and embrace a fuller, more compassionate view of ourselves.
Thought Experiment: Unveiling Your Inner Critic
Take a few moments today to try this thought experiment by Dr. Shai Tubali.
Create a table with two columns: "What I Should Be" and "I AM."
In the "What I Should Be" column, list the expectations and standards you believe you need to meet. Societal norms, family expectations, or personal aspirations might influence these.
In the "I AM" column, write the honest truth about yourself as you are now. This should be without judgment or criticism, just an acceptance of your true self.
Reflect on these lists. Notice how the expectations may cause unnecessary pressure and pain.
Recognize the reality of who you are and how embracing this truth can lead to greater self-acceptance and inner peace.
This simple exercise can help reveal the inner critic we all carry and remind us that we are already whole and valuable, just as we are.