Dominic Decker - Coaching and Counselling

23/11/2024

Finding enough time to be with my wife is a constant struggle.

Work, childcare, appointments, things that 'will just take a moment'.

It all adds up to one thing -

two knackered bodies/ drained minds without much left when a potential moment together arises (usually about 10pm).

By this point, my social/ useful battery is spent, and I don't have much to offer (Svea, thanks for putting up with me).

I mention this because it highlights one of the biggest dangers to a lasting relationship - drifting apart.

Couples gradually start moving in different directions. Passion fades, and interest in one another reduces.

If you recognise this in your relationship and want to turn it around, you might like an article I've written:

**Three Practical, Proven Tips to Restore a Loving Relationship**

For a listen while doing the dishes, there's an audio/ podcast version included.

And if it's helpful, subscribe and join the Anxiety Master community for more practical mental health content.

Restore Intimacy and Connection with Three Proven Tips for Couples. Learn Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship and Rebuild Closeness.

27/09/2024

Learn how to spot true vs. false anxiety. Understand physical triggers like sleep and nutrition. Find practical ways to reduce anxiety naturally.

04/04/2024

Are you a chronic apologiser? If so, swap 'sorry' for 'thank you' and see the difference it makes.

04/04/2024

Use this LADDER to say what you mean, calmy and confidently.

04/04/2024

Do you know the four communication styles?

04/04/2024

Treating People with Kindness.

04/04/2024

A Tool to Manage Frustrations Before They Boil Over to Anger.

30/03/2024

The need for attention is normal - and sometimes, this desire is manipulated and used against us.

30/03/2024

We're often taught that self-focus is a good thing. But sometimes it can be too much.

30/03/2024

Modern Interactions Don't Fulfil Our Desire for Connection.

21/03/2024

Recently, I experienced a mix-up with an online order, leading to a back-and-forth with the seller.

The first response I received was apologetic: "I'm really sorry about this. We've been having some difficulties recently."

While the response acknowledged the issue, it didn't shift the conversation forward.
However, a follow-up from someone more senior changed the game.

Their opening line, "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'd like to see if I can resolve this for you," instantly altered the dynamic.

This approach redirected my initial frustration and made me a valued part of the solution.

This exchange highlighted the powerful impact of our everyday language choices ...

and got me thinking about the message we convey to ourselves and others with deficit-based language (I'm sorry. Its my fault. I'm wrong, etc).

Of course, there are occasions when apologies and taking conciliatory ownership of a situation are right and necessary.

Yet, by shifting from a default of apologising to one of gratitude and action, we can upgrade our interactions for more constructive relationships.

It's a small change with significant effects, reshaping the tone of our conversations and how we perceive and participate in them.

So, if you're an excess sorry-sayer, you might like my article:

Why Do I Keep Saying Sorry? Learning to Break the Apology Cycle:

https://www.anxietymaster.org/stop-saying-sorry/

It's packed with tips, insights and practical steps.

There's an audio version, too. I hope to see you there : )

Do You Keep Saying Sorry But Don't Know Why? Read This Article to Stop Apologising & Embrace a Healthier Style of Communication.

14/03/2024

Do you struggle to say what you mean?

Maybe, sometimes, you're raging inside but can't find the words or patience to express how you feel.

So you keep your feelings locked up. And then they erupt in some unhelpful way.

The outcome? Frustration, Confusion, Regret.

Expressing yourself clearly and calmly is the best way to be seen and heard by others.

But these skills aren't always easy.

If you recognise this challenge, come and join me in this article.

I've made a podcast version and free resource to accompany the guide.

See you there : )

Explore a therapist's practical guide to assertiveness. Hands-on steps to confidently express yourself with firm communication in any situation