13/03/2026
I wasn’t sure if I should share this here.
But this community has always been a place of honesty for me, so it feels right.
This week I learned that my father has died.
What makes it even stranger is that he actually passed away in October 2025 — and only now my siblings and I received the news.
My parents divorced when I was 12. What followed was chaos. Pain. A lot of things that shaped the years after.
When I was 16, I cut contact with him.
And for almost 25years, there was silence.
In my mid-40s I tried to reconnect. A part of me hoped something could still be repaired. But it never really happened. The relationship never found its way back.
For the past nine years, during my own healing journey, I’ve worked a lot with forgiveness and compassion. I wanted to get to a place where I could truly let go.
Sometimes I felt close. Sometimes I failed completely.
And if I’m really honest — a small part of the boy in me was still hoping that one day there would be a different ending.
Maybe a conversation.
Maybe a hug.
Maybe just the feeling that something had softened between us.
That ending will never happen now.
No last words.
No moment of reconciliation.
Just the quiet realization that the door is closed.
Today, during a breathwork session, I saw him standing in front of me.
And for the first time in more than 40 years, the words came out:
“I love you.”
And then:
“I let you go.”
Rest in peace, Dad.