
26/08/2025
Therapy holds the space between no longer and not yet.
Very often we want to change the things that hurt us but we cannot just push a button to make the pain go away, although our bodies and minds are trying to find different "tricks" to keep us away from feeling it. These so called "tricks" can actually save our lives sometimes. In psychotherapy we call them defenses or protectors. We have some mechanisms that, for example, distract us (through scrolling, work, addictions, etc) in order to be able to survive the pain we experience.
When we cannot bare the hurt anymore but we also don't have all the energy we need to make a big change, that's called transition.
Transition is a process of becoming and letting go. It is a place of infinite possibilities. We cannot be who we were in the past anymore, but we're not someone new either. Yet.
We go through different transitions: from the womb to being birthed, from children to adults, from quitting a job to changing our careers, from ending a relationship and discovering the new state of being single, from pregnancy to motherhood, from moving to another country to adapting there, from suffering to healing, from being alone to having a friend, and so on.
Transitions are part of life and they are the bricks that build who we are. Continuously. Sometimes, we resist the difficult transitions that life brings us.
For example, .. we don't want to grieve the pain of losing someone and we pay the price with cronic depression.
.. we don't want to end a relationship but also don't want to change so we are drawn in unhappiness.
.. we don't want to admit and feel what comes with moving abroad, so we become workalhoolics.
In reality, resistance can be an opportunity to enter the magical space of transition. Once we are aware of it, things come to light and we are able to take steps in a certain direction, although transitions sometimes keep us at crossroads for a long time until we are courageous enough to make a decision.
How can we honor the space between no longer and not yet?
By being honest that a change needs to be done.
By acknowledging what we're feeling.
By giving ourselves time.
By asking for support.
By daring to hope and dream.
By taking small actions as often as we can.
By admitting we did mistakes.
By letting go of the burdens that aren"/'t ours,
.. and in many more other ways.