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Mandag 09:00 - 20:00 Tirsdag 09:00 - 20:00 Onsdag 09:00 - 20:00 Torsdag 09:00 - 20:00 Fredag 09:00 - 20:00

Flavia Cardas-Petrache, PhD - Psychotherapy

Hjem
Danmark
Copenhagen
Flavia Cardas-Petrache, PhD - Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy in English and Romanian, online and in Copenhagen, Denmark. My approach is humanistic and experiential.

I encourage a transparent communication with my clients regarding what works or doesn't work in the therapeutic process for them. I do believe that every person has at least one healthy part, untouched by trauma or difficulties and I professionally support individuals and couples in their process in a non-pathologizing manner. I approach every client in a personalized way, with care and deep respect to their uniqueness, using therapeutic methods from EFT (emotionally focused therapy), expressive therapies, IFS and dance/movement therapy. Education
2014 - present: Double Licensed Psychotherapist and Psychologist (in Denmark and Romania)
2020 - present: Professional training in Dance/movement therapy at the Institute of Dance and Movement Therapy Denmark
2018 - PhD in Psychology from the University of Bucharest (Romania)
2014 - 2019: Psychologist and Psychotherapist with private practice in Bucharest
2014 - MA Experiential Psychotherapy at the University of Bucharest

Experience
2019 - present: Psychotherapist and Psychologist in private practice in Copenhagen
2019 - present: Psychologist supervisor at Kompasset Foundation, Copenhagen
2014 - 2019: Psychotherapist and Psychologist in private practice in Bucharest
2014 - 2019: Assistant professor at the University of Bucharest
2014 - 2019: School psychologist
2014-2019: Trainer collaborator with HPDI

26/08/2025

Therapy holds the space between no longer and not yet.

Very often we want to change the things that hurt us but we cannot just push a button to make the pain go away, although our bodies and minds are trying to find different "tricks" to keep us away from feeling it. These so called "tricks" can actually save our lives sometimes. In psychotherapy we call them defenses or protectors. We have some mechanisms that, for example, distract us (through scrolling, work, addictions, etc) in order to be able to survive the pain we experience.

When we cannot bare the hurt anymore but we also don't have all the energy we need to make a big change, that's called transition.

Transition is a process of becoming and letting go. It is a place of infinite possibilities. We cannot be who we were in the past anymore, but we're not someone new either. Yet.

We go through different transitions: from the womb to being birthed, from children to adults, from quitting a job to changing our careers, from ending a relationship and discovering the new state of being single, from pregnancy to motherhood, from moving to another country to adapting there, from suffering to healing, from being alone to having a friend, and so on.

Transitions are part of life and they are the bricks that build who we are. Continuously. Sometimes, we resist the difficult transitions that life brings us.

For example, .. we don't want to grieve the pain of losing someone and we pay the price with cronic depression.
.. we don't want to end a relationship but also don't want to change so we are drawn in unhappiness.
.. we don't want to admit and feel what comes with moving abroad, so we become workalhoolics.

In reality, resistance can be an opportunity to enter the magical space of transition. Once we are aware of it, things come to light and we are able to take steps in a certain direction, although transitions sometimes keep us at crossroads for a long time until we are courageous enough to make a decision.

How can we honor the space between no longer and not yet?

By being honest that a change needs to be done.
By acknowledging what we're feeling.
By giving ourselves time.
By asking for support.
By daring to hope and dream.
By taking small actions as often as we can.
By admitting we did mistakes.
By letting go of the burdens that aren"/'t ours,
.. and in many more other ways.

18/08/2025

What is your guiding light - those anchors that root you in yourself, that give you safety and warmth when everything seems to fall apart?

Someone dear to my heart told me that nature never lies, it only says the truth and through nature observation we can develop our perception of ourselves, other people, life in general. This stayed with me and I remember it everytime I am out in the nature. I've been lucky enought to have a forest near my house so I take daily walks alone and with my son. I've been in the forest on sunny days, when it was snowing, raining, windy and even on thunderstorms. Different feelings came up while I was witnessing the forest being taken over by different natural phenomena.

This type of observation is an ongoing process. It's a mirror process with the one in therapy. I witness people in different seasons of their lives and they come with various feelings and moods. I notice my reaction to their feelings, moods, life experiences and I wait, I don't respond right away.

I learned from nature that waiting is important. That space between the stimuli and the response is the one that can be developed in therapy. When we are experiencing trauma, most of us are blended with the reaction to the external or internal stimuli and we are being taken over by feelings, sensations, images, thoughts, and we feel we don't have the autonomy to respond; we are pulled in the storm of reactions that are overwhelming.

I once was in the forest and it was sunny. In just a couple of minutes, weather changed and a forceful wind took over the forest and a thunderstorm came in no time. I wasn't prepared for it so my mind started searching for solutions to find shelter very quickly. I believe this could be an appropriate metaphor for how trauma invades our inner space and bodies. In those moments, the anchors that we've developed when we weren't in danger can be used. Those anchors could be, for example: feeling your emotions without immediately responding from or to them; asking for support; grounding techniques; self-awareness; emotional regulation methods (placing your hand on your chest, breathing into the feeling, naming the emotion, bringing compassion to yourself, etc); setting clear boundaries and maintaing them; etc.

One day an image came up to me while I was gazing the trees. I saw the sun in between the branches. The light was always there although its intensity was fluctuating depending on where I was in the space.

The guiding light inside you is always there even when it's diffuse.

09/08/2025

Babies depend on adults 100%. The first relational experiences are with a caregiver and they mark our attachment to other people throughout our entire lives. We heard this many times and we know it. And even thought we know it, in reality as parents we come with our own relational stories and attachment patterns that cannot be separated from how we parent our children.

Many or some of us don't want to repeat how we've been raised and treated by our caregivers so we force ourselves to be different. But our babies are not us so they might have maybe different needs than ours when we were their age. Our good intention to take care of them "better" can sometimes set us up for disconnection.

One of the most important lessons that we can learn is the relationship with our child's crying and our own as well. Crying is the main communication channel that babies use to express their needs. Baby crying can mean pain, disconfort of any kind, hunger, unmet emotional needs, temperature changes. It is a healthy survival mechanism. The real danger is when a baby doesn't cry at all.

If we, for example, were let to cry alone by our caregivers, we want to avoid this behavior and not let our children to feel abandoned as maybe we felt. So we react immediately to our baby's cry and we soothe them right away. In the short run, it doesn't sound bad - in the end, we are trying to make baby understand that they're cared for and they are not alone, right? But in the long run, we deprive them from experiencing and expressing all their feelings. Of course we need to intervene when they are clearly overwhelmed or when they have a specific disconfort/need, but we also need to learn to wait and observe and this is one of the hardest things to do as a parent and I would say especially as a mother. We are biologically wired to eliminate threats and dangers and to protect our babies.

It is a fragile balance that we pursue in order to gain clarity or insight about when a baby needs to cry in order to express their own feelings or stress and when a baby cries because they need our support.

As adults even if you're not parents: what's your relationship with your tears, with your crying? How do you react when a baby cries nearby? Or when a friend cries? Or when you see someone in a movie crying? Many of us feel disconfort, confusion, helplessness, anger, shame when we're witnessing someone else's crying. Those feelings are directly proportional with some parts of ourselves that might carry these feelings which were never addressed or felt.

But there are also many people who are confortable with crying, they even use it as a mechanism to self-regulate emotionally because tears release cortisol so stress can be expressed and not trapped in our bodies.

I read some time ago about "positive suffering" which I interpret as allowing ourselves to mourn, to cry, to express pain in order to heal or feel better.

When there is space to express, there's no need to suppress. And it is freeing.

06/08/2025

August is International Breastfeeding Month. I would like to contribute to the awareness of this complex process that is not only about feeding, but also about the mother, about fulfillment, but also about pain, worry, distrust, fear, shame.

Breastfeeding is not only about the happiness of being with the baby, but also about sleepless nights, mastitis, many contradictory advices, social pressures, emotional and physical exhaustion, anger, sadness. Breastfeeding can trigger traumatic memories, it is not only about securing the relationship with the baby.

I wish we could have open and honest conversations about breastfeeding and not glorify this process through photos of happy mothers. As in psychotherapy, we need to normalize the diverse experiences of mothers regarding breastfeeding and motherhood.

21/07/2025

What is your radiation?

This was one of the "Feedbacks" that we needed to reflect on as part of the training in dance and movement therapy. It was about how we think/imagine others perceive us.

This theme of reflection returned these days, from another perspective, bringing a different layer of awareness. As a new mother, there is so much information about how and what we should do to be good or perfect parents. There are tons of solicited or unsolicited advice from family, friends, strangers, people online. It is quite challenging to navigate this ocean of ideas and experiences while trying to find balance on your "boat" as a mom.

These opinions can bring up various parts of ourselves and depending on how vulnerable we are during that period, more or less wounded parts are coming up with feelings, emotions, sensations, memories, thoughts.

I noticed some polarized parts that are triggered by different persons as I am navigating motherhood:
- some parts that are critical/judgy and sound like: "You are absurd. You exaggerate. You are too... (sensitive, anxious, worried, afraid, rigid, etc). You shouldn't feel that way."

- and some parts that are normalizing, encouraging, offering compassion and empathy like: "You are going through a huge change, of course you feel that way. I went through a similar experience, I totally get you. You are not alone, me and other friends felt and still feel the same. It's a quite tough experience, give yourself time and understanding, don't rush healing."

IFS (Internal Family Systems) says that how we relate to people externally is also the way we treat ourselves and relate to our parts internally. But it is so hard not to take things personally when you are vulnerable.

One of the exercises I did to bring more clarity and connection is the "IFS parts mandala" which can be used in many different life situations that are challeging. Taking time to reflect, slow down and make contact with ourselves can make space for a deeper self-understanding. Doing this in silence, nature or together with a trusted person, even a psychotherapist can foster progressive healing, piece by piece, step by step.

So returning to my initial thought about personal radiation, I would say that what happens outside can be a trailhead for our inner dynamic, which asks in different ways for care.

04/07/2025

"At a certain age, almost all the questions a person asks are, in fact, about the same thing: How to live your life?

If she closes her eyes tightly, long enough, she can remember almost everything that has ever made her happy. The scent of her mother's skin when she was five and they ran giggling into the apartment building stairs to take shelter from the rain. The tip of her father's cold nose pressed against her cheek. The comfort of the rough paw of a stuffed animal he refused to let her wash. The sound of waves lapping against the rocks during their last seaside vacation. The applause at a theater. Her sister's hair blowing in the wind after the play as they walked carefree down the street.

When was she happy? How happy was she? A few moments. The jingle of keys as he opened the door. Kent's heartbeat in her palms as he slept. The laughter of children. The wind on the balcony. The scent of tulips. First love. First kiss." (Frederik Blackman - "Britt-Marie was here")

I am reading the book "Britt-Marie was here" and I experience various triggers and glimmers, sometimes at a distance of fractions of a second, from one sentence to another. I am touched by the humanity with which each character is created and it is confirmed, once again, that being human is one of the most important qualities a person can have.

What does it mean to be human, from my perspective? It means being authentic, empathetic, understanding, vulnerable, capable of experiencing all emotional nuances, collected with oneself and with others, honest about personal limits and capable of introspection. Of course, there are so many more qualities that are integrated into this "human", but for me these are the most important and I try to develop and manifest them both in my personal life and as a psychotherapist.

What does being humane mean to you?

17/06/2025

The period after a major change in our lives can be full of relief, hope, energy, strenght and other supportive feelings, but can also bring deep grief, sadness, doubt, fear and even rage.

Postpartum is the period after a person gives birth. It is not only about the physical birth of the child, but also the birth of a totally new life: entering parenthood, with crucial identity, psycho-emotional, relational, social shifts. I would say that these changes are taking place even when we are not aware of them or even if we don't want to admit or experience them. They happen and we are left to deal with everything that they bring and take.

One of the biggest tabus in the postpartum period is rage. I would go even further with saying that I believe rage is not specific only to pospartum, but to many of the big life changing experiences.

I will not give you a dictonary definition of rage because the intention of this post if to create space for the less talked about topics in order to normalize some deeply human experiences.

Rage could take different shapes: intense bursts of anger towards yourself, your family, strangers and even your babies or children, even though deep down we know that the most vulnerabl beings don't have cruel intentions of getting us mad. Rage is about the overwhelming feeling of irritability and agression that is triggered by big or small things that happen daily or from time to time. Hormonal shifts, sleep deprivation, lack of support, isolation could be some of the factors that invite rage to take up space in a persons life. Also - the long-term supression of anger since childhood and teengae years could be a contributory aspect of ongoing rage.

If rage could speak, it would probably say:
"I had enough.
Listen to me!
See me!
Hear me out!
I am dangerous and I will punish you if you (continue to) hurt me!
I am protecting my boundaries and I will never be vulnerable again!
I will make you suffer as I suffered!
Shut up! It's my turn to talk/act/live.
STOP IT!"

Another layer of it is that Rage and anger are deeply judged in our society and this puts even more pressure on the persons who experience them and are overwhelmed by them. New parents are expected to be full of joy and gratitude, calm and rational and supress their sp called "negative" feelings. The story repeats itself, probably from childhood: some parents cannot stand their children's emotional expression so they minimize it, punish it, ignore it, shame it so the children take these actions inside themselves and they trabnform them into coping strategies. When they themselves become adults they repeat the story with their own children and sometimes rage is part of the suppressed feelings that cannot be contained anymore.

If someone can contain us emotionally and helps us self-regulate when we are children, then as adults we can contain our most overwhelming feelings in a safer way. But being a parent and also a survivor of trauma adds to the intensity of feelings.

Rage is such a complex feeling and it deserves our curiosity, care and attention, just like any other feeling. We tend to isolate it outside and inside ourselves until it becomes too heavy not to be felt.

What would rage say if it wouldn't be that angry?
"I want to protect you so no one hurts you again.
You need boundaries in order to survive and I am gonna set them for you.
You are too overwhelmed to deal with other people's emotions. I will make space for yourself in your own life.
Fear makes you feel small, but I will make you seem bigger.
You aren't able to take care of yourself so I will do that for you the way I know.".

What is rage trying to do for you? What is it trying to communicate to you?

10/06/2025

For the past 8 months, the experience of motherhood has been continuously showing me different sides of myself that were asleep or invisible for some years. Memories long forgotten have been popping up in my mind, feelings long covered have been surfacing and sensations long repressed have been coming up in my body.

Layer by layer, motherhood is unpacking new realities and identities. Each layer holds an entire universe that's made out of past and present moments from childhood, teenage years and adulthood. The complexity of it sometimes can feel overwhelming so the need for psychoemotional dams in essential. Dams are a temporary "fix" because in the long run, those experiences ask their rights to be seen, felt and integrated

The question is: when do you know it is the right moment to start unpacking painful experiences that shaped who you are in the present, that maybe are giving you a hard time enjoying life without those unbearable burdens that keep you from being your true self?

There is no clear answer, no right or wrong answer, but one that can only be found in practice.

I've been learning a lot about being in the here and now since I became a mother. There are many unknown aspects and the answers cannot be found by using the analytical mind. One way to search or find some answers is by testing the reality - experiencing different possibilities and trying out different options so that you respond with your entire being, not only with separate sides of yourself.

Invite curiosity to support you in this process, instead of being overpowered by judgement. Invite compassion, instead of only being carried away by criticism. Invite presence, instead of losing yourself in disconnection.

Curiosity, compassion, presence are only some of the "inner residents" that can ease our way towards lightness when the amount of changes is overwhelming. How can you get it touch with either of them even... now?

Take a moment to move your attention towards your feet. Move your toes gently. Congratulations! You've just invited presence in your life right now. What could support you next? I'm curious 🌟

25/05/2025

How would it be if our painful experiences would show up on our faces as shadows? They can already be seen on our facial expressions, skin appearance, gaze, but not many of us can decode those signs, at least not counsciously.

What would it be like to meet people and actually see their life stories told by the amount of light and shadow on their faces? Would we be more understanding with each other? More empathic? Or would we hurt each other more just because we would see how vulnerable we are? Would we be more willing to heal and bring light in our souls and bodies?

Darkness doesn't come only with pain. It brings mysterious gifts or treasures that wait to be discovered and integrated. Shadow can make the light seem more intense, can make us more resilient, hopeful, trustful, kind. But the path towards these hidden fortunes isn't usually straight. There is sometimes a lifetime back and forth search for meaning (and light) and there is also the risk of feeling drawned in the darkness.

As a mother, I can see how painful it is for a child to grow. Development comes with a lot of suffering and effort: growing teeth, developing movement skills, discovering food and having stomach aches, etc. Not one milestone comes easy, but with tons of practice, tears, protests, tiredness, night wakings and a generalized disconfort.

How come as adults we expect to heal with no pain or disconfort?

Another thing I noticed as a parent is that my baby works hard to reach different milestones. His energy flows to develop himself permanently. How come as adults we disconnect from this life energy that moves us towards our becoming?

Cultivating curiosity could offer us some answers, I believe and learning to ask ourselves questions so we can slow down and reflect. One deep existential question is: are we truly living or are we surviving?

When we're going through the dark night of the soul or through an apparently never ending shadow, we must remember that light is always somewhere inside us, waiting to be seen and discovered.

15/05/2025

What does it mean to have training in a certain psychotherapeutic approach? What does it include? How many hours of theory (reading, writing), practice (personal therapy, internship, supervision) and research do you need in order to be certified? How many years of traning are necessary to become certified as a dance and movement therapist?

You can find all the answers in the following pictures of my certificate as a dance and movement therapist.

This is my second long-term training. First one was a two years masters degree in Humanistic Experiential Psychotherapy in 2014. And most recent one Internal Family Systems (IFS).

Why is it important to know what a diploma or training encompasses? Because it gives you an idea about certain abilities that your psychotherapist has. Humbleness is very important in this profession but also transparency, clarity, on going training, honesty, presence, empathy, (and many more) are crucial and of course, keeping healthy boundaries.

I am truly grateful for these 3 years journey of becoming more myself and knowing myself better both as a human being and as a professional with the support of dance and movement therapy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Institute of Dance Movement Therapy, Denmark and my colleagues from the training! It has been inspiring.

04/05/2025

Observation is crucial in psychotherapy; being able to notice without judgement is even more important (and harder, I would say.): to be able to sit with feelings, thoughts, sensations, stories, experiences mostly with the difficult ones - both as a psychotherapist and client.

As a parent now, I realize how difficult it is to only observe and not intervene in different situations, for example, when baby reaches for a toy or when they cannot get out of a position that they put themselves in. The instinct is to "help", to give what they are struggling to get or to move them when they sit in an uncomfortable posture. This help goes even further by believing that we know better than babies so we start "teaching" them to roll, crawl, sit as if they don't know how to do that. Surprise: they do know better, we "only" need to wait and follow their pace! When I allow myself to wait and see what is happening with the baby without my intervention, they usually manage very well to do what they want/need by themselves and sometimes they even seem more satisfied than when I help them. It might not be when or how I want them to do it, but it is their own journey, not mine.

In therapy, when a client experiences for example sadness, instead of immediately talking about it or exploring it, I learned to stay silent or put into words what I notice, without judgment and checking with the client if what I see is also what they experience. From my experience both as a psychotherapist and client, it is such a grounding experience to be seen in our most difficult moments - without judgment but with presence and compassion. It is like we are contained by the other in order to know ourselves, exactly how a baby is contained by their parents until they become independent.

There is this tendency that many of us have to do things for our peers, children, clients to make their life easier and frustration-free. The tendency expands to also feel the emotions that our clients cannot feel yet or to take them out from experiencing intense feelings because we are afraid of them or us being overwhelmed. But in the long run (and even on the spot), we risk to deprive them from developing their own abilities to deal with different sensations, feelings, thoughts, situations, to actually learn how to self-regulate emotionally and become autonomous.

The magic word is "wait". Instead of immediately jumping to do something, let's wait a bit, observe and be with what it is here and now. This space between what we feel and our reaction is the opportunity to learn about ourselves, others and the world in general.

Maybe in the past it was dangerous to live in the present and to feel our feelings when no one was there to hold us, but the hopeful news is that we are offered new opportunities to change in the presence of a person who is fully there for us.

So that in time, we become the person who is always here for us.

18/04/2025

Maternity leave brought a different pace in my life. On one hand it imposed a marathon-like schedule and on the other hand it invited (or forced) me to slow down and be more present.

I've spent a lot more time in the nature thanks to daily walks with my baby and I started to notice the subtle changes of seasons. It's a sense that nothing is happening at a visible level, but at the same time, one day you see a big change in the landscape. For example, I was looking forward to spring and trees weren't giving any sings of blooming (apparently), but then one morning I noticed green grass and brand new leafs. It made me think about the psychotherapeutic process and the "nothing is happening until one day..." or the slow but steady changes that clients are going through. Awareness, ability to respond rather than react, differentiating sensations and emotions, setting clearer boundaries, the freedom to choose in accordance with one's needs and not only others' needs, all of these create long-term changes in one's personality as they become more themselves.

What does research say about change in psychotherapy?

Here are the key conclusions of the article “The Tyranny of Time” by Jonathan Shedler and Enrico Gnaulati (March 2020) - thanks to chapgbt:

1. Therapy takes time to be effective.
Meaningful psychological change usually begins around the six-month mark, with greater benefits occurring after a year or more. Studies from Consumer Reports, clinical therapists, and session-tracked research all show a clear dose–response relationship: the more therapy, the more improvement.

2. Brief, manualized therapies are often insufficient.
Instruction-manual therapies (e.g., 8–16 session CBT protocols) may not address the complexity of real-world clients. Many clients relapse or remain symptomatic after completing these treatments.

3. Clients and therapists value deeper, more personal change.
Both clients and therapists prioritize goals like improved self-worth, deeper relationships, and emotional insight over mere symptom reduction—goals that often require long-term therapy.

4. Symptom-focused research designs distort real outcomes.
Most psychotherapy research defines success in narrow, checklist-based ways that don’t reflect clients’ lived experiences or their definitions of healing.

5. Insurance and institutional pressures limit effective therapy.
Health care systems and insurers increasingly prioritize brief, standardized treatments for cost reasons, which undermines real therapeutic progress for many.

6. Therapist quality matters more than treatment model.
Research shows that the therapist’s relational skill, empathy, and ability to build trust have a greater impact on outcomes than the specific technique or model used.

7. Early dropout is a major problem.
Most clients don’t attend enough sessions to benefit meaningfully. This is partly due to unrealistic expectations and rigid, superficial treatment approaches.

8. Longer-term, personalized therapy enables lasting change.
When therapy is allowed to unfold over time in a supportive, flexible manner, clients can explore deeper issues, overcome defenses, and achieve transformative growth.

Full article here:
https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/article/tyranny-time/

I'm curious about your opinions about this. You're welcome to comment or write to me privately.

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My story

Dear visitor,

First of all, welcome! My name is Flavia Cardaș and as an open-minded and empathetic psychotherapist, curious and containing, I currently run my private practice in psychotherapy using an Expressive Therapy approach - through therapeutic conversation, movement and arts. With an experience of over 7 years of professional training in experiential humanistic psychotherapy, 5 years of ongoing training in Bothmer Movement and over 200 hours of ongoing personal development and psychotherapy, a PhD in Personal Development through Dance and Movement, I support the self-discovery journeys of my clients in English and Romanian, in a beautiful clinic in Copenhagen (Blå Himmel Yoga) and online. Who are my clients? Individuals that are open (although in pain) to see their own lives from a different perspective, that are willing to make space and time for themselves in their lives, that, although they experience, for example, low self-esteem, poor confidence, unsatisfying relationships, social/cultural integration difficulties, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, they take a courageous step forward in their journey towards themselves, towards the life they want. Which is amazing. Since I started working in Copenhagen and even before moving from Bucharest, most of my clients are expatriates. Therefore I started to be specialized in immigration related topics as cultural identity, adaptation, cultural intelligence, social inclusion, loss, grief - building and maintaining a new life at the same time with preserving identity. My mission is to support adults and children in pursuing their well-being, transforming their difficulties in resources and becoming the creators of their own act of healing and I must admit how grateful I am for people trusting my guidance.

You can discover more about my professional background here:

linkedin.com/in/flavia-cardas-phd-6458196a