18/05/2024
Still Single?
This is reality:
Most people nowadays don’t commit. They don’t see the point. They’ve always said there are so many fish in the sea, but never before has that sea been right at our fingertips; a simple left or right swipe away. Bumble, Tinder, Hinge; Facebook, IG; take your pick. We can order up a human beings in the same way we can order up Pad Thai. Social media has ruined the idea of relationships for an entire generation; where “great” is replaceable and perfect doesn’t exist. We think intimacy lies in a perfectly-executed string of emojis. We think effort is a “good morning” text. We say romance is dead, because maybe it is. Maybe romance now is putting the phone down long enough to look in each other’s eyes at dinner. Maybe romance is deleting Tinder off your phone after an incredible first date with someone. Maybe romance is still there, we just don’t know what it looks like now.
When we choose—if we commit—we are still one eye wandering at the options. We want the beautiful cut of filet mignon, but we’re too busy eyeing the mediocre buffet, because of choice. Our choices are killing us. We think choice means something. We think opportunity is good. We think the more chances we have, the better. But, it makes everything watered-down. Never mind actually feeling satisfied, we don’t even understand what satisfaction looks like, sounds like, feels like. We’re one foot out the door, because outside that door is more, more, more. We don’t see who’s right in front of our eyes asking to be loved. We long for something that we still want to believe exists. Yet, we are looking for the next thrill, the next jolt of excitement, the next instant gratification. We keep running on a treadmill for purpose and fulfillment, but these terms are merely carrots-on-a-stick we will never catch because we treat happiness as a destination, not a journey. We expect to look up and suddenly be happy one day, like a switch was flipped. Guess what; bad days will always exist. But so will the good ones. Happiness is not found in our friends, partner, profession, or things; rather it’s a individual mindset found through consistent maturity handling your s**t like a boss.
We soothe ourselves and distract ourselves and, if we can’t even face the demons inside our own mind, how can we be expected to stick something out, to love someone even when it’s not easy to love them? We bail. We leave. We see a limitless world in a way that no generation before us has seen. We can open up a new tab, look at pictures of France, pull out a Visa, and book a plane ticket. We don’t do this, but we can. The point is that we know we can, even if we don’t have the resources to do so. There are always other tantalizing options. Open up Instagram and see the lives of others, the life we could have. See the places we’re not traveling to. See the lives we’re not living. See the people we’re not dating. We bombard ourselves with stimuli, input, input, input, and we wonder why we’re miserable. We wonder why we’re dissatisfied. We wonder why nothing lasts and everything feels a little hopeless. Because, we have no idea how to see our lives for what they are, instead of what they aren’t.
If you have a desire to not be single, you have to put in the effort. Be the first to text or call. Don’t play silly games. Ask that guy or girl out. Compromise. Be patient. Get to know someone before the physical. Maybe you’ve met the one, but you’re unwilling to be burdened by their flaws. Maybe you have expectations of grandeur, whilst demonstrating no willingness to work for it. Sometimes we only have one opportunity with one person. Make sure every person you come into contact with, will wonder .. what if? .. should I?
And then You Do!
Life is short. Make sure you share your days & experiences with a witness.
Make that witness, your partner, lover, best friend, and confidant. And most importantly, don’t fu@k it up!
