28/12/2025
❤️🩹I WAS SO GOOD IN MASKING❤️🩹
I knew I all the right things to say, and to do...
with my head, or at least my head thought it knew (trauma response)
I learned firsthand that my emotions were too much, I was hushed down and told I was too sensitive.. on top of that I learned from my parents that showing all your emotions with a lack of safety was dangerous, my system collapsed, and turned on survival mode = keep smiling = keep joking = keep pushing....
and when I cried, it felt so uncontrolled. Anxiety came, and I needed to pull myself up, because I literally felt like I was dying... so my "go-to" was, stuff it down! remove it!
AND SMIIIIILE! TELL EVERYONE ELSE THAT ALL IS FINE, ALL IS GOOD! (even when I felt sh*tty inside)
Little did I know, I wasn't taking care of the little girl there was living inside of me, everytime i felt sad, overwhelmed ect.
she was afraid to be seen as weak, and felt so ashamed...
over time me and the little girl became closer, I started to feel and know, when she need my attention, safty and love...
and then the healingwork could start...
it made more space inside of me, I felt calmer, more authentic, and light...
because wearing a mask is a heavy work...
your pain, patterns ect, is here to tell you that there is something that needs to be held and seen ❤️🩹❤️☀️
