What are the opening hours?

Monday 09:00 - 17:00 Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00 Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00 Thursday 10:00 - 17:00 Friday 10:00 - 17:00

Counselling.ee - Balanced Living, Köleri 4-2a, Tallinn (2026)

28/05/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥

“𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥?
𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥.
𝘐𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥.
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵.
𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘰𝘣𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵.”
— 𝘛𝘢𝘰 𝘛𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 29 (𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯)
━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐅𝐢𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥

We live in a culture that encourages us to fix, optimize, and control everything we touch — including ourselves.

When we experience emotional distress, our immediate instinct is often to treat the psyche like a machine that is broken and needs to be repaired.

We analyze, strategize, and try to force ourselves into a state of immediate betterment.

But when we approach our inner life this way, we are tampering with something sacred.

We reduce the human experience to an object to be fixed.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐓𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

In therapy and personal growth work, we often see that the harder you try to forcefully change negative emotions, the stronger they become.

This is the paradox of control.

Anxiety and pain are not there to be conquered.

They are signals from your internal system that require understanding, space, patience, and compassion.

When you treat your mind as something to be fixed, you create an adversarial relationship with yourself.

You become both the warden and the prisoner.

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐱-𝐈𝐭 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐞𝐭

When you feel the anxiety of needing to “fix” yourself, your best move is to take that sideways step into the Critical Gap.

You stop trying to alter the natural landscape of your mind and observe it instead.

You allow the emotion to be exactly what it is without interfering.

And with the objectivity the Observer affords you, there is space to make healthy choices about how to move forward — or even to stay exactly the way you are.

Healing doesn't come from forcing a new state of being.

It comes from allowing the natural self to simply exist.

When you stop tampering with your experience, you rediscover the wholeness that was already there.

You are not a project that needs to be fixed.

You are a complex human being seeking balance in a turbulent world.

Often, simply witnessing this is enough to help you feel grounded, even when the world around you remains unstable.

25/05/2026

“If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.
If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.”
— Tao Te Ching 💭

We live in a culture that encourages us to fix, optimize, and control everything we touch — including ourselves.

When emotional distress appears, the instinct is often to treat the mind like a machine that needs repair.
We analyze.
Strategize.
Push for immediate improvement.

But you are not a project that needs fixing.
You are a complex human being seeking balance.

In moments of anxiety or pain, the harder we try to forcefully change our emotions, the stronger they often become.

The Tao offers another approach:
Step into the Critical Gap.
Pause.
Observe the landscape of the mind without immediately trying to alter it.

Healing does not come from forcing yourself into a new state of being.
Sometimes it begins by allowing yourself to be seen, heard, and present exactly as you are. 🌱

21/05/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲: 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲

“𝘙𝘦𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘰𝘥, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦.”
— 𝘛𝘢𝘰 𝘛𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 28 (𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯)
━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐝

In our efforts to understand ourselves, we often accumulate too much information.

We adopt strategies, analyze our emotions, and build mental structures until the mind becomes cluttered.

We become so focused on the intricacies of our thoughts that we lose touch with the simple, natural source of our being.

The state of the uncarved block is an invitation to return to simplicity.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐞

When you are overwhelmed or out of balance, you don't need a complex new framework to fix it.

You simply need to return to the block.

The uncarved block represents your Core Self before it is shaped, pressured, and fractured by external expectations and internal reactivity.

It is the simple, quiet awareness that remains when the noise of the world subsides.

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

When the mind feels cluttered and reactive, we do not need more complexity.

We step into the simplicity of awareness.

If you practice mindfulness, then you know the state.

And if you are unfamiliar with it, don’t worry. It is nothing difficult or highly spiritual.

It doesn’t require special knowledge or training.

You do not need to know how to meditate or attain some higher state of being.

To be in awareness is simply to let go.

Whatever that means to you.

Just let go.

Stop trying.

And if this seems difficult, allow yourself to be distracted.

Nature helps.

Go outside and look at the sky — day or night.

Play with your pet.

Drink a glass of water.

Exercise.

Hug someone you love.

Just do something simple and don’t try.

Awareness is always with you.

You do not need to turn it on or off.

It is simply there.

Always.

But the complexity of our lives often gets in the way.

So if you are experiencing this sense of clutter or reactivity, try to do something — anything — that allows you to let go.

And this is important:

If you try to let go and it doesn’t work, don’t punish yourself for it.

It’s okay.

Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s not.

You are the uncarved block.

Under all the layers that have been piled on top of you, it is still there.

For all of us.

When the moment is right, you will return to the source.

It is in every breath you take.

It is in every beat of your heart.

Beneath all the complex views of the world, you are still whole.

Just breathe.

And let go.

18/05/2026

“Return to the state of the uncarved block, which is simple and natural.”
— Tao Te Ching 💭

When the mind feels overwhelmed, the instinct is often to add more:
more analysis,
more strategies,
more attempts to “figure everything out.”

But the Tao offers a different perspective.

Clarity is not always found through greater complexity.
Sometimes it appears when we return to something simpler and more natural.

The “uncarved block” is a metaphor for your original nature —
the part of you beneath the noise, beneath the mental clutter, beneath the endless self-analysis.

Awareness is already here.
You do not need a perfect mindset or a higher state of being to access it.

Beneath everything reactive and overwhelmed,
you are still whole. 🌱

Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is stop forcing, breathe, and let go.

14/05/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐫

“𝘈 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘶𝘱𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨.”
— 𝘛𝘢𝘰 𝘛𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 27 (𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯)
━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐔𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠

We live in a culture obsessed with destinations.

We map out our days, our careers, and even our healing with a rigid sense of the end goal. This creates a subtle undercurrent of anxiety, an internal rush to arrive at a place of permanent peace.

But as the Tao Te Ching reminds us, the Way doesn't suggest a rigid itinerary.

When we become too intent on arriving, we miss the richness of the experience.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

When we attach our sense of well-being to a future destination, we miss out on the journey itself.

We miss the difficult but necessary struggles, as well as the quiet rewards along the way.

Our society is obsessed with outcomes, causing us to lose sight of the significance of the underlying process.

We measure our lives through external benchmarks and certificates—from early education and university degrees to climbing the career ladder and accumulating status and wealth.

We frame these milestones and place them next to our family photos, letting the trophy stand in for the actual living.

In doing so, we treat life like a tourist attraction seen only through a lens. Much like the quiet realization that we spent more time documenting the vacation than actually experiencing the place, we trade the richness of the moment for the security of having proof that we were there.

The illusion of the perfect end state creates a constant sense of lack.

When healing or happiness is viewed merely as a point of arrival, the present moment is reduced to a stepping stone, stripped of its inherent value.

𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐒𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

The skillful traveler moves through life without a fixation on fixed expectations.

You can still have goals, but they should be points on a map, not stressful undercurrents that pull you away from being present in the journey.

The journey of emotional healing and growth operates in much the same way.

We can set goals, such as finding balance, coming to terms with difficult historical events, or dealing with internal struggles.

But these goals are there as reference points, not existential needs.

Both our journey through life and our journey through emotional healing have the potential to unfold naturally over time.

To force the process is to create unnecessary friction in a progression that will follow its own course if you allow it.

Healing is not a destination to reach.

It is the natural outcome of self-acceptance and self-love over time.

11/05/2026

“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent upon arriving.”

We live in a culture deeply focused on destinations. 💭

We rush through our careers, our relationships, and even our healing, believing that peace exists somewhere further down the road.

But when we become too intent on arriving,
we lose connection with the present moment.

The journey becomes reduced to a means to an end.
And the mind begins living in a constant state of lack — always waiting for life to finally feel complete.

The Tao offers a gentler perspective.

You can still have goals.
But they do not need to become stressful undercurrents pulling you away from the experience of living.

Healing is not something you force into existence.
It unfolds in its own organic way when approached with self-acceptance, patience, and self-love. 🌱

The path is not just leading somewhere.
The path itself matters.

07/05/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.
𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵.
𝘛𝘩𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘢𝘺
𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦.
𝘏𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸𝘴,
𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧."
— 𝘛𝘢𝘰 𝘛𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 26 (𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐲𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
We live in a culture that mistakes "lightness" for freedom. We jump from one distraction to the next, one emotional reaction to the next, thinking that movement equals progress. We respond to every notification, every spike of anxiety, and every external "splendid view" as if following it will bring us fulfillment.

But when we are always moving, always reacting, we fall out of balance. We lose our footing. We lose our root.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭: 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲
In psychology, we often work on "Grounding." When a client is overwhelmed, spiraling, or having an anxiety attack, the work is to find a place of balance—to find the "Heavy." This isn't a heaviness of sadness, but a heaviness of gravity. It is the solid, immovable part of the psyche that doesn't "leave home" just because a difficult emotion has arrived.

The "Heavy" is your values, your breath, and your Core Self. It is the anchor that allows the "Light" (your thoughts, feelings, and external events) to swirl around you without pulling you off your feet.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞
This is one of the most beautiful psychological metaphors in the Mitchell translation. To "travel all day without leaving home" means you can engage with the world—you can go to work, handle conflict, and experience joy—without losing your place in your own center.

You see the "splendid views" of life, but you don't become them. You remain the observer.

𝐃𝐞-𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞
When we haven't found our "Heavy" root, we are at the mercy of our nervous system’s flight response. We feel a "light" impulse (a craving, a fear, a need to defend ourselves) and we instantly follow it. We "flit about like a fool," as Mitchell puts it, because we have forgotten that we are the masters of our own country.

Healing happens when we stop trying to control the "Light" movements of the world and instead invest in the "Heavy" stillness of our own being.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐞
The paradox is that the more grounded (heavy) you are, the more effectively you can move. When you are rooted in the "unmoved" part of yourself, your actions in the world become deliberate rather than reactive.

You aren't ignoring the world; you are simply not allowing yourself to be thrown off balance by it.

04/05/2026

“The heavy is the root of the light.
The unmoved is the source of all movement.”

These words from the Tao Te Ching are not about staying still or resisting change.
They are about stability. 💭

We live in a culture that often confuses movement with progress.
When discomfort arises, the instinct is to act —
to fix, to escape, to react.

But constant movement can lead to losing our footing.

The Tao suggests something different:
When you feel overwhelmed, find the “Heavy.”

Not heaviness as sadness —
but heaviness as grounding.

Your breath.
Your values.
Your Core Self.

In psychology, this is known as grounding —
returning to something stable within you.

The paradox is that the more grounded you are,
the more deliberate and effective your actions become. 🌱

You don’t need to withdraw from the world.
You simply don’t have to be thrown off balance by it.

30/04/2026

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐚𝐲: 𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
— 𝘛𝘢𝘰 𝘛𝘦 𝘊𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 64 (𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘔𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
In a culture obsessed with progress, we are conditioned to believe that the solution to any problem is 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒.
More knowledge, more tools, more effort.

We treat our mental health like a construction project—constantly trying to build a better version of ourselves, as if the current one is unfinished.

But the Tao suggests something different.
Our original state isn’t a construction site.
It is a clear pool that has simply become crowded with debris.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟
From childhood, we are taught to improve ourselves.
We adapt to the expectations of others.
We develop strategies to navigate rejection, fear, and shame.

Over time, these layers become so familiar that we mistake them for who we are.
We stop saying “I am acting anxious” and start saying “I am anxious.”

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧
Modern psychology often mirrors this ancient path through the process of de-conditioning.

In therapy, healing rarely comes from adding something new.
It comes from letting go of patterns that are no longer giving us—or the people around us—good outcomes.

It is the stripping away of internalized critics.
The shedding of outdated defenses.
The dissolving of patterns that were once necessary, but are no longer useful.

When we engage in this kind of unlearning, we are not creating something new.
We are revealing what was already there.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤
In Taoist thought—and in modern approaches like Internal Family Systems—there is the idea of a Core Self:
a part of us that cannot be broken and does not need to be improved.

It is the “Uncarved Block.”
The version of you that existed before the world told you who you were supposed to be.

To unlearn is to stop trying to carve the block into something else.
And to return to the stone itself.

It is a shift from striving to being.

A recognition that the clarity we seek is not something to be achieved—
but something to be remembered.

27/04/2026

“What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.”

These words from the Tao Te Ching point to something simple, but often overlooked. 💭

We spend much of our lives accumulating.
Learning how to perform.
How to hide.
How to meet expectations.

We collect roles, labels, and patterns of behavior
until the person we were originally
is buried beneath those layers.

In therapy, the work is often not about adding more.
It is about subtraction.

Unlearning defenses that no longer serve you.
Letting go of patterns that once protected you
but now limit your growth.

You are not broken.
You are not something that needs to be fixed.

The path is not about becoming someone better.
It is about remembering who you have always been —
before the layers. 🌱

23/04/2026

“𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵
𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘮𝘶𝘥 𝘴𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳?
𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘶𝘯𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧?”

— 𝗧𝗮𝗼 𝗧𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟱 (𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀. 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗠𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗹)

— — —

Lao Tzu asks a question that is deceptively simple, yet it strikes at the heart of our modern struggle with anxiety.

When we find ourselves in a difficult situation—a conflict at home, an ultimatum from the boss, or a wave of internal self-doubt—our biological “fight or flight” system takes over. We feel an urgent, frantic need to do something.

We think that by stirring the water—through intense thinking, unending analysis, and obsessively checking for solutions—we are making progress. But as anyone who has ever disturbed the bottom of a pond knows: the more you stir, the murkier the water becomes.

In psychological terms, this is rumination or spiraling. And often we may be caught in this unhelpful cycle for extended periods, actually believing we are problem-solving, when in reality our minds are “muddy” with heavy emotion, leaving us incapable of seeing clearly.

Our perspective is distorted by the very silt we are kicking up. We aren’t looking for solutions; we are just trying to escape the discomfort of the murk.

In these moments, the practice of 𝐑𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, as viewed through the lens of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, can be hugely helpful.

In simple terms, it means accepting that this is what’s true right now—even if I don’t like it.

Radical Acceptance isn’t about liking the situation, and it isn’t about being passive. It is a strategic pause. It is the brave choice to allow the “muddy” reality of the present moment to exist exactly as it is, without immediately trying to fight it or fix it.

When you stop “stirring” the problem with your anxiety, you allow your nervous system to regulate. You aren’t giving up; you are letting the sediment of your reactive emotions sink to the bottom of their own accord.

This is the true power of the 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐆𝐚𝐩.

It is the space where you realize the water is murky and you intentionally choose to remain unmoving.

You wait.
You breathe.
You observe the silt without becoming part of it.

Lao Tzu suggests that clarity is not a destination you reach through effort; it is a state that remains when the noise stops.

When the water finally clears, you don’t have to “find” a solution.

The right action arises naturally.

It becomes obvious.

It is no longer a forced choice born of panic, but a steady step born of clarity.

Counselling.ee - Balanced Living

28/05/2026

25/05/2026

21/05/2026

18/05/2026

14/05/2026

11/05/2026

07/05/2026

04/05/2026

30/04/2026

27/04/2026

23/04/2026

Address

Opening Hours

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share

Category

Monday	09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday	09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday	09:00 - 17:00
Thursday	10:00 - 17:00
Friday	10:00 - 17:00