22/10/2024
My heart breaks for the parents I work with every single day. People often ask me “How do you work with kids with special needs? Don’t you feel sorry for them?” and my answer is almost always “no”. And I don’t. These kids are some of the purest people you’ll ever interact with. They have the biggest hearts, they’re happy, they’re content, they’re pleased by the smallest of things. If I’m having a bad day, just one smile, hug, milestone achieved, turns it around. And this is not to glorify anyone with any kind of developmental disorder, behavioral or learning difficulty, because it’s not all rainbows and sunshine (it’s actually very far from that).
But the struggles their parents go through every. single. day. to get their kid to be accepted in society, tolerated in social settings, admitted in schools, able to participate in mundane day-to-day activities that we all take for granted is beyond me. These parents have quite literally dedicated their entire lives to their child, yet no matter what they do, it’s not good enough for society.
I’ve seen parents move countries to get better services for their child, I’ve seen some drive from different cities that are 2 hours away (that’s 4 hours total) just for their child to attend a 2-hour session, give up on their passion and careers, spend way more than their means, and exhaust every single path that might have them see their child 1% better than they what they currently are.
Just in this last week I have had to console 3 different parents (both mothers and fathers) who have come into my office crying as they are at a loss as to what to do with their child. They live and exist to see their child do better. Yet no matter what they do, again it’s not good enough.
So please, be kind. Think twice before you throw a judgement on a parent who’s trying their best. Try to understand, instead of react. These parents don’t choose to have a child who can’t speak, a child who’s aggressive or a child that functions many many years behind their actual age. If you see a child throwing a fit on the supermarket floor, it’s not that the parents have failed in parenting them. It’s very likely that they are struggling with something. And parents are not to blame for that. It’s bound to happen to any of us and at the end of the day, we’re all trying our best :)