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Ashtanga Yoga Lab, Ma`adi (2025)

20/05/2025

“If only we built gyms for kindness, where we worked on our compassion, our empathy, our patience, along with our bodies.”—Marlon Brando/1990

07/08/2023

Last installment number 9 😍🔥🙏🏼
Why we do what we do:

I loved Mysore, I wanted to make it my yearly “pilgrimage” at the time. The accumulation of what I describe above made this trip personally stressful and unsustainable, since I already live in a chaotic corrupt xenophobic country and the romanticized discomforts in making such a journey may be far more useful to privileged westerners, than to me. The fact they went to “magical India” is a good story to tell when they get back to their supposedly “civilized” country. Having been taught in India also offered them legitimacy as teachers. But India is no more “magical” to me than the Arab world is. Our problems are similar, seen as “quirky” or cute in India yet shamed as barbaric and unacceptable in the Arab world. What I did continue to learn from legendary teachers around the world and their students who were referred to me was priceless. I loved being part of this international community.

That the “shala drama” I was subjected to is “normal” is laughable and absurd to me. No thank you. There are no “two sides” to this story and such behavior should not be enabled by teachers who convey the principles behind the sutras, such as non violence and unwavering honesty. I resisted the FOMO and I’m much smarter having stayed put running my own program with the best mentorship I could ever wish for. We must remain curious and ask ourselves daily in our practice, why do we do this? As a teacher, I cannot bear seeing anyone hurting themselves on repeat, or breathing so loudly or out of breath in a pose that shouldn’t require that much work. Learning to save one’s energy, especially in this energetic practice, can be profoundly transformative on so many levels, if paying attention. Attention is a practice in itself. The incidences of injury are too high! Correcting peoples misconceptions daily, which is the job of any teacher worth their salt, is exhausting but vital. It can also be unnecessarily confrontational, making people storm out of my class. “This is too hard” one would say while my response was always “but it doesn’t have to be”.

I would often introduce a healthier challenge (where their breath is fuller) than the riskier ones they seem intent on. People are often not aware they are performing for others, rather than practicing what is invisible. Many faces would light up in these moments, but many more wouldn’t like what I had to share, given how rare introspection is as a healthy life skill. It was nowhere near like this when I started. Impatience is not going to get anyone far, in whatever field requiring mastery. It can be so destructive, especially when difficulty arises which is inevitable but often a golden opportunity to learn why we do this. An opportunity too often lost. I was always interested in the science behind this, how it can be tailored to each individual according to one’s ever changing needs.

Once a “friend” showed me some fancy handstand instagram video and asked me “can u teach me this?” Anything else I asked her (to inform my response) was interrupted with that same question asked more persistently “yes, but can u teach me THIS?” Since my response was not the definite “yes of course” she was looking for, the dismissal and total disinterest on her part was beyond rude. People too often assume you are selling something even though they are the ones asking the questions! I certainly was not selling handstands even though I love doing them. They set my shoulders free, and I would have loved to help others feel the same.

This is why traditionally it is best that a select few are taught, (certainly not your friends). and taught well, so they can teach others…and payment was by donation only. What a dream that would have been, in a different world where capitalism is not the rule. Yet for many years this was my only livelihood so I had to adapt the best way I knew how. I tried the sliding scale payment system for those who said they couldn’t afford even though I was offering the best deal around. Most who claimed they couldn’t afford my prices (which I always kept relatively low, being self employed) were actually looking for a “deal” and rarely if ever kept their part of it. Without feedback, no acknowledgement or apology, just undermining an offer that I genuinely meant for those who needed it. I wanted them to take advantage of my offer with “unlimited” attendance, that was the whole point. It was not to be taken for granted or devalued.

A student is not “always right” because we are students, not customers or clients. I ran an actual school, not a cafe, shop or massage parlor. The client mentality, in such a space can be downright rude and entitled like you won’t believe. I have been yelled at countless times in my space, as well as when out socializing by disgruntled (and drunk) former students who hardly attended, especially when yoga became more “popular” and people became impatient. Inevitably and rightfully, people did become more suspicious of its teachers, putting me in a box of their creation. In my experience students became more argumentative than ever due to this inevitable confusion (student vs client) with zero respect for rules and conditions required to study with me. Saying you are to show up at a certain time and not notifying me if you can’t is not ok for a small business run entirely by me. I was super flexible and generous if a student is unable to attend for a period of time. As long as they notify me, I wanted to be able to support them in their difficulties and be there for them when they return.

The absolute best students who benefitted from my sliding scale pricing were the revolutionary human rights activists I loved and wished to support during the upheavals following 2011. They know what it is to show up for others, and understood the importance of showing up for oneself, rain or shine. It’s to do with curiosity, accountability and transparency which means giving their teacher honest feedback because I’m certainly not a mind reader and we all make mistakes which help us learn. They mostly kept their end of the “deal” with honesty, respect and mutual appreciation. It worked for me as a great litmus test for character, even though I was always advised by my teacher never to do this and he was absolutely right in retrospect.

I have no regrets because my “research” was about human tendencies, after all. Those who actually had to earn their livelihood understood my need to earn mine and appreciated the exchange inherent in my offer. It could only work if they honor their side of the agreement, and many did. They became dear friends to this day who I consider like family.

Then once in a while a truly interested student’s face lights up in joy and relief from the info I just gave them. The delight on their faces from knowing their beliefs are/were misconceptions, that it doesn’t have to be this way anymore, are etched in my heart forever. These lovely humans are what made all the above journey totally worthwhile for me. The rest, an unlearning practice for the former people pleaser in me.

The End

05/08/2023

Installment number 8 🔥😇🙏🏼
On being blocked by super yogis for asking questions.
This was written years ago and because no one really gives a s**t anymore (thank God) I get to share it here finally.

From the first mysore shala in the Middle East (not including Israel).
😍🇵🇸

Being a “demographic” threat in Israel, i was made to feel like a “demographic threat” to the “traditionalists” as a “non authorized” teacher. What a burden we are for those who feel they are authoritatively/divinely tasked (like that Italian lady in last installment) with showing us “correct method” via “parampara” which is nothing more than magical thinking.
In fact the opposite is true, in that their example totally downgrades the work of the best teachers in the world. I have seen newer authorized programs worldwide fail, due to their resistance to reach out to the pre-existing community, because apparently they are “non-legit”. Same attitude as the person who taught at my shala except I invited her and she accepted, while acting like she was doing me the favor. She eventually brought someone else who now runs a lovely mysore program next door to my old shala. She was always respectful and open to discussion and I am very fond of her. It’s what I needed all along, this is what community is. But then I moved to a quieter part of Cairo and have not looked back.

Another Italian lady, Monica Marinoni, who lived a very long time in India (making her “super legit” apparently) decided to start something in Berlin, and was totally dismissing the preexisting healthy ashtanga community in Berlin as not teaching “correct method” from “the source”. Remind you of anything? So she was coming to Berlin to save the yoga scene apparently. Of course I wasn’t going to shut up.
I wanted her to know how wonderful some teachers in Berlin are and they would likely he happy to host her if she was more respectful? One of these teachers who I consider a friend, was aware of her attitude but still wanted her to teach at his beautiful shala, even though he disagreed profoundly with her so called methods. Remind you of anything?
I was blocked for challenging her silly claims online. It’s not only ignorant but hostile and divides communities. If it happened with me it shouldn’t happen with anyone else. It is unacceptable.

Mark Robberds, another person who blocked me, was fawning over Baba Ramdev’s (google it) “amazing energy” in some instagram post.
Me being me, I pointed out that Baba Ramdev is a homophobic racist sexist who sells “cures” for homosexuality and later Covid. Maybe Indian fascism is better than White fascism? Maybe Modi is more acceptable (because intl yoga day) than Trump or Netanyahu? Mark insulted my integrity and finished it off with his saying he does not ever want to be “woke”. This was the first time I saw “woke” being used as an insult.
Did anyone defend my point on Marks post? Of course not. He has way too many followers on instagram.

The Egyptian (see installment #3) changed my history to her convenience and kept telling others that i only spent two weeks in Mysore as if it mattered (making me “extra non-legit” apparently), so that was it for me. There was nothing to defend or argue when the person who you shared your students, shala and home with, changes your history and stubbornly insists on his/her version despite my repeated attempts to correct. It was telling, how she wouldn’t let go of her version of my history, so I stopped correcting her I just wanted her to leave.
Hello colonialism, where your history, space and livelihood is occupied by some outsider that you invited, only to turn around and say to your students you are “non legit”. Brought to you by an authorization system based on how much time you spent at “source” and how supposedly “advanced” in one’s practice. Apparently God loves gymnasts, while maturity and integrity can go out the window, from what I experienced first hand. While historical roots and tradition deserve study, I do not see any geographical location as “source” of anything, this idea is what wars are funded/founded upon. I am Palestinian after all.

I think the majority of these people have no idea what “research” actually means. It’s either due to a lack of education and curiosity, or sometimes from “too much” education and praise in a specific field. Anyone who blindly takes orders would be intimidated by someone who asks questions, such as myself.

I’m sure Sharath will agree with all I say here. I wish I could have complained to him about what some of his students are up to but he won’t give me or his average student the time of day besides the occasional adjustment and a photo op. He often encourages his students to think for oneself unencumbered by power/privilege (easier said apparently) and Sharath often reminds his students of this essential quality. But it’s not enough. This is about safety and responsibility above all. I rarely see this happening in actual practice and his unavailability to most of his students doesn’t help. Yet across ALL fields that matter, giving ones power to so called “authority” or “tradition” often hinders ones own capacity to think compassionately, originally or creatively as per individual needs as “tradition” originally intended! “Because Sharath says so” is not an intelligent or kind response to why anyone should do this or that posture in this or that way. Too many well intentioned students are feeling they are not good enough for practice because of this careless manner of teaching.
My teacher never said such things, thank goodness. Orders from “above” was never a source of how he taught the person he sees in-front of him. He thinks scientifically, asked questions and studied anatomy, encouraging me to study with other senior teachers around the world, while mentoring and supporting me whenever a puzzling situation came up. I was far luckier than I could ever imagine at the time.
Beyond lucky.

20/07/2023

Installment number Seven!

I was initially registering with Sharath but Saraswati his mother was standing there while I was registering and persuaded me with “you come with me” and a beautiful smile, twinkling eyes. Being polite with respect to my elders, I cannot tell his mother “no I want Sharath”. I’m sure countless many did though 🤣😂
In retrospect, the months spent with Saraswati were the best most nurturing thing that happened for me there, given the previously outlined circumstances.
The older senior students who have decades old practice also seemed to prefer being there too, teachers whose books I had in my library. It seems Sharath was considered too young and too popular for many of their needs. I felt I was absolutely in the right place for my healing and Saraswatis motherly energy was kind and generous with me.

I will name the person below since she found it appropriate to gossip about me my last summer in Mysore. Gabriella Pascoli’s unnecessary adjustment on me, at Saraswati’s. This incident was a source of amusement to many it seems. She didn’t know me and she had no business doing what I describe below. This lady who identifies as a senior authorized teacher was practicing next to me and for some reason she felt it appropriate to stop her practice and impatiently twist my wrists around in prasarita c. If you know, you know.
She was huffing and puffing in the most simple beginning postures (many teachers never got that memo) and there was no love AT ALL in her harsh adjustment, as if I am the one who interrupted her practice! “Oh those new students who I am divinely tasked to teach “correct method”” was the vibe. She did not even smile at me. I wasn’t physically hurt by her, I was even initially thankful/confused but then I later confronted her in front of others (since she asked) with the fact that she doesn’t know me, my name, my history, and if I had a shoulder injury, and the fact that we are all students in that room and we should each be worrying about our own practice. So instead of checking herself or possibly apologizing, she gossiped about this incident to many others. How dare I question her “authority” but I’m glad I was a source of amusement to her friends, many of whom reached out to me in love, understanding and respect, behind her back of course.
I’m never at my physical best when traveling for yoga anywhere. Ever. These trips were a much needed break for me as a teacher and restorative for me. This always worked to my advantage as there was always so much more to learn, as a teacher of students with similar/worse issues. Also there were some wonderful bodyworkers that I learned a lot from in Mysore (senior students making extra money on the side) who would help me question how therapeutic/damaging this practice could be. As a teacher I loved having those enriching conversations so I can help others who often get similar issues.
Often one is judged as a teacher by other practitioners according to what one can/can’t do in any given time. A common question is “How can you, a teacher injure yourself?” coming from another teacher, who did injure herself eventually in a harsher way due to some challenging posture she was determined to “nail” on this trip. Everyone should be heard, rather than judged. We all have history. Progress is not linear, and life happens, no matter how we practice. I’m a student first.
I generally don’t like to be touched or want to be “adjusted” by people who don’t know my name. The way things are now at KPJAYI with Sharath’s assistants will likely be uncomfortable for me and I’m sure many touch sensitive students. This is the extent of Sharath’s teacher training for his authorized students and it’s probably a good idea considering how busy it is these days, but definitely not for me. In this day and age, I would like to be known by the person who is adjusting me.

18/07/2023

6th installment ❤️‍🔥

I first visited Mysore with my teacher and his wife in 2007. I could feel how proud he was that I was his first student to visit Mysore with him. I am spoiled as far as having a truly caring teacher who I know invested in me on many levels so I could continue what he started in Cairo. This is relationship. I’m glad I haven’t disappointed him so far. It was to be his last visit to Mysore and I also have no desire to go to this particular “source” after my second visit alone. During my second visit in 2008 I adopted a beautiful Indian street puppy, but the bureaucracy and corruption (of as***le brokers) surrounding getting her to come home with me made the trip very stressful and anxiety ridden. I lived in Mysore for 3 months so that Bindi is old enough to travel and spent that time training her and getting her healthy. Everyday I was in tears due to some broker who would hang up on my face telling me to find another one. Hopelessness sells and this is how needy foreigners are treated in such countries. It felt familiar like Egypt and the bureaucratic xenophobic mockery towards foreigners that many fascist countries display while trying to take their money. No doubt there have been countless foreigners who want to rescue Indian street dogs, so they know how to pressure us with complications and taking more of our money along the way. I got her out through briberies, connections with the Egyptian consulate in Delhi, and the same rude broker who knew I would have to call him back. Pls note there were no cellphones then and social media wasn’t a presence in our lives. This was all accomplished via an Indian pay phone on a noisy street, with little Bindi in my arms.

17/07/2023

Fifth installment:

The hashish adventure, we were at a party where space cakes were being served by a KPJAYI senior student. He did not notify or warn people what they were while serving them, he just called them “magic chocolate” but I did not expect it to be more than delicious chocolate as I was myself naive. When I told him that a friend is reacting badly he said “just tell her to relax”. They were delicious but none of us knew what was in them so my friend ate quite a bit. She panicked when she knew they were not innocent brownies so she insisted I drive her to hospital in her car, without my driving license, having ingested a brownie (or two) myself. The doctors tried to scare her more with “tests” because God knows what were in those brownies…so she could stay in hospital longer, while I tried to reassure them that I ate some and I am absolutely fine 😂. This friend went to Sharath to report what happened to her after this incident. We could have all gone to prison as drugs are a serious criminal offense in India. Sharath was heartbroken after this incident as among other things, it made his students/KPJAYI look bad. He was right and it was probably too late to worry about it anyways.

16/07/2023

Installment number 4. Pls note that with the advent of things have since changed, but only a tiny bit:

In India, women are told to dress modestly, and naturally I do, living in Egypt. It was unbearable to see many westerners, both male and female, oblivious to this cultural sensitivity, even mocking how Indian men stare at them as they leave their yoga practice literally in underwear, with hostile internal narratives towards the locals “in your dreams buddy”. I remember my teacher telling a guy who walked out of practice in his underwear (tight short yoga shorts) to cover up because it’s just not a good look for KPJAYI students. We are not on a beach this is a quiet neighborhood and you don’t want to walk around in what appears to underwear and a sports bra (for many females).
I generally don’t like to draw attention to myself as a perpetual foreigner, especially in a country where sexual harassment is normalized. India’s street culture felt very similar to Egypt’s as far as I experienced as a woman. I take offense at any mockery of culture that acts differently than its privileged visitors who act like it’s beneath them to show respect. It’s very colonialistic if you will.
So as far as my nervous system goes, India felt just like Egypt, which for me defeats the purpose of a quiet stress free holiday. Just as dangerous/safe for women. The over mysticism on the part of many westerners surrounding “magical India” coupled with denigration of where I am from (terrorist countries) by westerners who think they travelled the world enough (India and Far East mostly, with the “Middle East” being Dubai/Israel) is ignorant and off putting. With all the yogic texts that are read, they didn’t study this issue at all. Racism against Muslims/Arabs is only natural in that world if basic curiosity is lacking. Definitely NOT a sign of intelligence let alone kindness. Now you see why I was so excited to come across an Egyptian in Mysore (2nd installment scroll back)??

I’ll always be proud of being the first Mysore program in the Middle East (not including Israel), thanks to my teacher who initiated it. I was always welcomed when applying for my visa to India as a tourist, but as of recently not anymore. Since Modi came to power in 2014, the suspicion regarding my frequent visits over the previous ten years and the whole hindutva wanting to claim yoga as their own along with its associated Islamophobia, means it’s not the same for me anymore. Modi is a friend of Israel, and Israel’s apartheid is in its infancy compared to Indias apartheid.
Any friend of Israel is welcome, and that includes Egyptians too. Hindutva and Zionism are best friends, rendering me as unwelcome in India as I am in Israel.
I will never justify that I am a Palestinian Christian in the hopes that they will be more lenient. I will always be Muslim for the sake of taking a stand. Westerners don’t seem to see the sinister values at play here during their yoga trips to “magical India” and apparently I need to “let it go”. Bearing a US passport, I shouldn’t ever have to flirt, smile or be charming to an interrogation officer, as clueless people ALWAYS suggest me to do. I can be polite but I won’t give them power by excessive “smiling” as it’s just not funny anymore. Most white people should be so grateful that they will never understand yet prefer to silence us with romantic “no borders” “just smile” “you are too sensitive” talk. So called “yogis” can really be unbearably smug and harmful in their so called advice.

Now back to settling into Mysore, a melting pot of different nationalities which is what I love, but as always I would see eyes glaze over when I respond to “where are you from?”. Palestine = terrorist in their limited and disinterested imaginations. In stark contrast to the initial disinterest, often enthusiastic interest/warmth was shown once it came to their attention that I own a shala in Cairo, Egypt. The sheer opportunism of them feeling entitled to be invited to teach (with their so called “blessings”) rather than appreciate if I am willing to share students and space with them in the first place...boggles the mind!

12/07/2023

Third installment that includes three notable incidents of opportunistic interactions that should not occur if you think yourself a yoga “master” ever:

Hierarchies, and its associated fawning, thanks to the public displays of what would years later be known as Joisyoga/Sonoma crew and their posse. Watching Sharath et.al fawning over wealthy hedge funder all-American beautiful white family who came in a private jet and booked the front row with their Manduka mats. Obvious VIP treatment. I watched Sharath helping one of their children to grab his ankles in drop back, as he shouts across the shala “look mom!!”. It felt like American style yoga Disneyland and thank God I was there observing with my teacher and his wife. Lots of mutual eye rolling and laughter on that trip. No one books a space at any shala, but normalizing the royal treatment/favoritism they got and the clique surrounding that put me off. I saw where it was going and indeed it did, unspectacularly. Turns out the family that owns Jois yoga used to party with the likes of Trump, Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein. No I’m not kidding. DM me for more details.
Then there was NYC Jivanmukti’s David Life and Sharon Gannon who were there the same year of 2007. Fawning to guruji, Sharath and Saraswati and making a huge audible show of it. This was probably the last time they saw Guruji, and good for them, since they capitalized on his method and named it something else entirely.
A stunningly beautiful Colombian yoga teacher in Mysore was invited to give a workshop in Egypt, so naturally she asked to chat with my teacher who used to live there and he kindly wanted to introduce us since he no longer lived in Cairo but I did. She wouldn’t even make eye contact with me, which in my naïveté I did not understand at the time. How embarrassing for her. She kept speaking of these wealthy owners of this amazing retreat etc, people I also knew well enough. I guess she was intimidated that I also know her “contacts” but it didn’t cross her mind that I was going to support and share her retreat info with my students who would have loved to join her. I generally don’t trust those who get intimidated based on my “likeability”, and I basically don’t do retreats since I own my own shala and the local regulars, people who have to work, are my highest priority. Basically I was no threat to this entitled person who never made it to Egypt anyway. I was so naive then assuming all yogis would appreciate a helping hand/community. Not when popularity rules their priorities.

11/07/2023

Second installment of reality of owning a yoga studio before yoga was anywhere near popular:

For two consecutive 3 month visits (2007 and 2008) as far as I knew, I was the only Arab in this wonderful little town in South India, and then I heard there was an Egyptian girl present and I was so excited to meet her. I had just opened my shala a year previously and it was busy, with me teaching early morning and evening, and while it was rewarding for me, it was exhausting and lonely. I craved a colleague to discuss these responsibilities with. For many westerners, Egypt is a far more “magical” country to hail from than Palestine, more on that later! Given I live in Cairo, I happily introduced myself to this Egyptian girl, only to be met with extreme coldness/unfriendliness like “who the hell are you?”. Years later this same person thought her initial coldness towards me as cute and “funny” but now we know how toxic such a reception is from the start. Often women pride themselves on being a “bitch” and this is the variety I speak of. My instinct has never failed me, even though I ignored it too many times, as one does. I quickly realized that this is the person I noticed earlier because of the noise she was making, totally out of sync in the practice room which was a distraction for many who were synchronizing our guided class with rhythmic breath. The soothing sound of the room is what makes it so “magical”. She was totally oblivious to the disruption she was causing to those practicing near her. This was an unusual sight at the time as only students who studied with a proper teacher and knows the basics of practice is allowed to be taught by “the great master”. As a teacher myself, of course I noticed and sympathized. Since she was terribly unfriendly too, I had no reason to even look in her direction ever again.
A couple years later, I heard through a mutual friend that this girl was working in a well known retreat center (which means she must know the practice better by now right? Wrong) and moving to Cairo. She wanted to meet with me, for her benefit so she invited me for lunch in Goa where I would go almost annually to study with a dear teacher. As I mention earlier, I needed another teacher/partner who knew this practice at my super busy shala, so it seemed like an answer to my years of prayers. Perhaps in retrospect my super welcoming reception gave this person an inflated sense of importance. With time this decision became a huge compromise on my part as I did not agree with this persons so called “teaching style” in my shala, resulting in confusing my students who were allegedly taught “wrong” (by me) and basically barking orders with no explanation eg: “breathe through the pain” and forceful adjustments learned from some mediocre 200hr Teachers training course, bound to make any body go rigid in defense, while telling them to surrender their “ego” 🤮. This person belittled my ethical and safety concerns and always unwilling to process that I am the senior/director of my own shala, and that these are my students and they always come first. She would typically respond that I have ego problems, control issues, as were the students while being roughly adjusted. It was a perfect example of how dogmatism/lack of intelligence causes many teachers unable to think for themselves and preferring to strongly disagree (quote “This is my style”) rather than engage in open respectful discussion as a mode of inquiry. Maybe my Psych MA intimidated her and this was nothing new, unfortunately.
The welfare of the student always comes first no matter what, but this toxic interaction is no different than with racist bigots who think they have a right to their “opinion”. I terminated her “employment” but she came back some years later to “apologize” and I gave her another chance, even congratulating her some years later when she got the kpjayi authorization and spread the news thinking this person may become more humble and responsible since this piece of paper mattered tremendously to her but certainly did not expect her to use this so called “authority” to question my “legitimacy” in my own shala after all the previous BS I tolerated from her! That was the cherry on top and it felt like an assault on my business and my life as well, especially when items belonging to students at the shala were missing, which never happened under my watch. Contrary to what I asked her to do, she did not monitor people coming in and out…preferring to keep the door open where anyone can enter and steal. In a building with no security, at night. She just couldn’t respect my rules, as a woman who owns her own business where students are mostly women and making them feel safe is a priority. I have heard countless similar and worse horror stories but never thought it could happen to me, even though my teacher warned me for years that it’s inevitable. How could this be normalized and inevitable without accountability? This is not a gym or a cafe, it’s a yoga center, and there are principles that it was founded upon. It was far worse to me that other “authorized teachers” (it’s what they like to call themselves, as opposed to “student” which was my preferred way to reference myself) who benefited from my shala saw it as normal behavior and stayed neutral, dismissing it as “shala drama”. “C’est la vie”, “keep practicing” and the dumbest reaction of all: “the only solution is to go get authorized in Mysore” was the range of response from other authorized teachers I reached out to in the hope of reasoning with this experience. Couldn’t one of them agree that this is despicable behavior when you generously invite someone and give them the honor of working with you and your students? These people apparently “avoid drama” but also benefited from teaching in my shala, as if they were entitled to benefit from me and only support eachother regardless of common decency. It took me a long time to realize that this type of allegiance is how members of a club/cult behave when confronted. They avoid the research to question what we are teaching. It’s all “Sharath says this Sharath says that” why? “Because Sharath says so”. What a bunch of zombies! This is how I learned the hard way which seems to be the only way unfortunately. There was little vocabulary at the time regarding abuse of power and so called authority and boundaries and above all the priority of the student’s needs, which was most important to me. Any system of authority has zero legitimacy if it lacks accountability. This story broke my heart on so many levels, and being silenced by those who I thought were my colleagues made it worse. It was all too familiar but I didn’t know enough at the time to name it for what it was/is. In fact those who claimed not to want to be “dragged into this drama” were the ones most staunchly taking sides, and they made sure i was aware of this. This widespread lack of outrage from what I see as unethical, dishonest and harmful behavior made the inevitable victims of sexual assault incidents by KPJ and other teachers plus their consequent silencing by the community totally believable. The community lack of support always hurts more than the original offense. Because these types of people are competitive by nature, it is the only reason they could ascribe to my apparent “over reaction” to this situation, it’s because I must be competitive. What a failure of imagination, that speaks more to who they are than who I could ever be. Some even call themselves therapists/healers that I would never recommend due to where they stood on this. They even seemed to enjoy this situation. Former friends included. No I don’t believe in forgiveness. One can certainly “move on” without forgiveness and sharing this is a celebration of this truth. I know this situation has happened with countless wonderful teachers around the world, who were also silenced because it happens “everywhere” right? They dedicated big portions of their life to passionately serving their communities, unable to afford traveling yearly to “magical India”, only to be visited upon by a self important teacher who looks upon their path with contempt, but more devastatingly, confusing their students with disrespect towards their teacher, the person who invited them over in the first place. Nauseatingly common behavior.
This one is for you ❤️‍🔥🙏🏼

Ashtanga Yoga Lab

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