15/08/2020
Tav´s memorial
We met Tav in our training for more than twenty ago. He was our teacher and mentor. Soon we started working with him in different countries. As we became organizers of the Spanish GTT training, we have had an uninterrupted relationship that turned into a deep friendship.
Over the last decades, many people had the chance to experience Tav as a teacher, facilitator, mentor, speaker, and writer. We did too. For which we are immensely grateful.
However, what we most remember these sad days is the time we got to share with him “behind the scenes”, those funny, silly, relaxed moments while traveling or before, during, and after modules. Together with Tav, Jean, Diana, and Nienke, we had a “core team” at the GTT training for years. We developed a strong friendship that enriches our lives until today. Besides work, we loved doing things together that became the unofficial staff routines. And Tav was a lot of fun to be with.
For the countless modules, Tav came to Spain; the routine had specific locations. We would go to get special treats to the supermarket and the health-food store. We always had the same get-together-celebration-meal in our favorite restaurant in town: Dali Eggs (fried eggs with shrimps swimming in olive oil and garlic). Several deserts to share, mainly chocolate-based.
We would go to town to get lemonade and ice-cream (for Tav the darkest chocolate possible with chocolate fudge on top). While eating or walking, we would catch up with what had happened in our lives and families in the few months we had not seen each other. Tav would always talk with excitement about new movies, directors, and series. We often discovered in a shop some beautiful little something we had to get (usually a scarf. Yes, one more). He would look for a present to take home to his beloved Cary.
After the long days of work, our team would get together in one room and eat chocolate as we would share the day. Often, one of us would have questions or needed support with a challenging process we were facilitating. That was the moment to get Tav and the rest of the team support. Often with lots of love and laughter, usually making fun of ourselves. As we would be exhausted, retiring to our room, we would hug, kiss good night, and Tav would say: “Love you guys. It has been totally real”.
Tav would untiringly talk about our connection to the source, about the vertical dimension, surrendering, trust, hope, empowerment, respect, support, death and rebirth, the divine feminine, presence, not doing, projections. It would explain that hard BPM2 process (again) to someone that felt helpless. For decades he would speak with passion and truth about the power of the work in Holotropic Breathwork, amazingly, like if it was the first time. And witnessing his presence and his commitment, we all plunged into that passion.
He was very open about his life, family, past, addictions and recovery, physical ailments, emotions, and dreams for the world. Often, as an example of what he was teaching, he would use his life issues, with such open heart, that many of us would feel teary and think, “I have my version of that” (as he would say).
While abroad, Tav tried to keep his self-care routines in the hotel by dancing, working out and meditating. He would always keep his room at freezing temperatures; his AC was entirely on 24/7 (better take a jacket). Despite how hard it was at times, Tav devoted his life to teach and facilitate Holotropic Breathwork around the world, taking in his suitcase the Paradigm he believed in so much. He would spend weeks far from his family. He would say of himself that he was “high-maintenance”. It was only natural that he would need some comfort to make countless hotel rooms a home-away-from-home.
Tav had a deep aesthetic sense. He appreciated offering the best breathwork room, sound system, fantastic music, movies, experiences, meditations, flowers, centerpieces, fabrics, candles, food, and treats for the participants to support deep life processes. The most tangible expression of that was the joy and grace with which he wanted to prepare it all for the Certification ceremony. He even would dress up his jeans and t-shirt with a formal jacket for the surprise of us all.
We feel, like many others, that he touched and changed our lives. He trusted us as human beings and in our work. He was always supportive of us personally and professionally. For years he gave us tons of love, recognition, and a friendship that we keep as a treasure.
Tav always said that every moment, especially challenging ones, was “an opportunity to heal.” Here we are now facing this opportunity.
Dear friend, travel safe, go in peace. It has been totally real.
Sitara Blasco y Juanjo Segura
