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Koken.care

I help busy, self reflective women to a life they love, filled with inner balance & joy, less stress

14/02/2024

💓 THE day of love. And I have something for you. (Spoiler. Read till the end).

Like the last words of my father: “There is only one thing that matters, love”,
And he couldn’t be more right.

It is something we all desire and we all like to give (but not easy for everyone to express or to receive).

My father was the most caring, positive and thoughtful father I could have wished for. When I needed him, he was always there for me. And every Valentine’s day he bought roses for my mother and yes, as his daughter I got some as well when I was a child.

How sweet and romantic that might be, this is not what my message in this post is about.

Valentine’s day is way too commercialized, in my opinion.
Here in the US they go above and beyond, no surprise right.
Our kids are dresses in red and pink at school and they can hand over Valentines cards to all kids and teachers (so no one gets excluded). At some schools the parents are asked to make a special Valentin’s box so the kids can collect all the gifts and cards they get at school.

💓 But what is Valentine’s day really about?

Expressing that you care about someone.
That the people around you mean the world to you.
That we care for each other.
For yourself (self-love yes).

💝 How often tell you someone that you love him/her/they?
Or that that person means a lot to you?
And when you get a compliment. How do you react? How does that make you feel?
(In)comfortable? When someone surprises you?

Or what do you say when some one offers you their help?

What I have seen with many of my clients is that there are many people who have created unconscious rules and conditions for themselves in order to fully receive (self) love. These rules and conditions express themselves in variable patterns such as:

-      Being perfectionistic
-      Putting the bar sky high for themselves (and maybe for others)
-      Pleasing others
-      Very critical towards themselves
-      Keeping themselves small
-      Comparing with others

How would it be like to change these patterns? Would you like to experience more lightness, more connection, more authenticity?

💘➡️ read further in comments
Also for my gift 🎁

02/02/2024

“Poeh, wat een vraag!”

Zei ze.
En ze is niet de enige.

Die hier even over moet nadenken.

Maar eigenlijk wist ze de antwoorden al. Want al vrij snel zei ze, dan zou ik veel vaker tijd maken voor de dingen die op mijn wenslijst staan. Zoals sporten en met mijn vriendinnen afspreken. En ik zou mij niet zo druk maken en zoveel bezig zijn met mijn werk. Ik zou veel meer genieten….

En samen gingen we eigenlijk hele concreet haar ideale week invullen…. En bleek er ook al veel meer mogelijk dan ze had verwacht.

Hoe beantwoord jij ‘m?

“Wat zou je doen als ALLES mogelijk is?
Hoe zou komende week er dan uit zien? Wat zou je dan doen? En wat niet?
Hoe zou je je voelen? Welke keuzes maak je?
En de week erna, de maand erna? “

Een leuke, inzichtgevende vraag om mee te nemen dit weekend:)
En jij?
Tot welke inzichten kom je? En wat kan je hier van al gaan DOEN?

31/01/2024

Curious how you are doing on the ‘succes’ scale that’s called personal leadership?

Let’s go:

If you would give a number to the amount of self love you,what number would you rate this?

Ok. Good.

Now.

Maybe not surprisingly, but self love is one of the recurring themes in the coaching sessions with my clients.

Because:

If you love yourself that much:

Then…

How come that you:

- Work too much?
- Never have time?
- Are beating yourself up?
- Keep comparing yourself with others?
- Rely on others for validation?
- Are focused on pleasing others?
- Feel guilty if you do something for yourself or do nothing?
- Feel drained and running on empty?
- Keep making excuses?

???

Well…

How is it then with your self love?

Which one do you identify with mostly?

Let’s make self love more part of your ‘success’ scale.

First step is recognizing your patterns.
Next, take action.

What will you do to level up your self love? Make a small step. So you will improve that ‘succes’ personal leadership.

Share it to inspire others.

Feel welcome to hop in my DM if you want to know more what you can do to level up your personal leadership.

📸

23/01/2024

Einstein is widely quoted as saying, “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.”

But maybe it is not for everyone. Just for a few.

And it can be very challenging.

I admit.

Especially in this on demand society, that we are living.

Women ‘have’ it naturally more than men.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t have it.

This gift.

Or that you can’t (re)learn it.

You just unlearned or ignored the fact that you have the most powerful tool, that’s called intuition.

Your inner gut.

Your inner wisdom.

But hey, if you don’t believe in it.

Just continue doing everything perfectly.

Keep listening to others.

Listen and obey to your inner critic .

Keep pleasing people

And forget about yourself.

Keep rationalizing.

Keep working hard.

Be a lemming.

Live on autopilot.

Because who are you?

What’s your choice?

Whose life are you living?

However if you choose to live a life that is close to your heart, that is in alignment with who you are, a life that feels designed for you…

It starts with listening to your intuition.

It’s known as the best personal compass.

Your own GPS.

It’s the inner wisdom,

That always knows.

Ask yourself today.

What is your intuition telling you?

How and when do you choose to use your gift?

18/01/2024

Do you have more time than me this week?

Because my week looked like this:

Monday: Martin Luther King jr day: everyone off
Tuesday: Snow day: kids no school
Wednesday: 2 hr delay of school because of icy conditions. And international fair at school.
Thursday: One ill kid at home.
Tomorrow ???

How was your week?
What did you do this week with your time?

I didn’t worked as much as I planned.
I didn’t go to the gym on my usual days.
I didn’t do my daily walks.
I didn’t post the posts I wanted to this week.

And so on…

And that may feel I don’t have time.
For all the things that I had in mind when my week started.

However.
I chose intentionally to follow a masterclass of my coach before we headed to the city with the family.
I chose to have a fun day with my family together. We went to the Intrepid museum – a big recommendation!
I chose to enjoy our 1st official snow day with my kids and friends. Hot chocolate & sledding.
I chose to spent time with my kids during the 2 hr delay. We watched an interesting documentary together on Netflix.
I choose to be with my ill child. Cuddles and together at the sofa.

So there are a lot of things I made time for.
That I choose intentionally.

❤️‍🩹Do you see and feel the difference? Do you see the mindsetshift I made?

⏰ Did you had a week with a lot of time or no time?
And can you make this mindsetshift?

❤️Share in the comments.

↪️ Feel welcome to hop in my DM (it’s free:)) if you want me to help you - in 4 steps - to make quicker and easier mindsetshifts.

12/01/2024

The NO 1 thing YOU really want to focus on this year. (and what that has to do with the 3 empty cups of coffee on the photo you’’ll read in the end)

that will have mind-blowing effects.
On your health. For your personal growth.
To lower your stress levels.
To create a life close to your heart.
A life with more inner calmness
And SO much more.

What that NO. 1 things is?

It...
Is not better
Is not more
Is not what you didn’t achieve last year
Is not what your friends do/have
Is not what most people on the socials or on parties show
Is not a trend
Is not just a to do on your list

It is way more delicate
And the effects are mind- blowing!!!!

it is...
GRATITUDE
Gratitude
GRATITUDE

This is what you really want to focus on this year.
Whatever goals and intentions you’ve set for this year.
Add gratitude as a priority.

Make it a habit.
Why?
You can have everything in the world.
You can achieve anything you desire.
But if you don’t feel grateful.
What does it mean?
It will feel empty.
And you”ll only want more.

Life won’t simply get better.
Or if you had a really tough time or year.
And feel miserable.
If you keep looking at all that was negative.
It won’t make you feel good.

There are ALWAYS things to be grateful for.

Our brain has a ‘negativity bias’ and has the tendency to look what is NOT GOOD. So you”ll notice these easier.
But you can CHOOSE and CHANGE the way you think.
By being very conscious what you are grateful for.
To search every day for all the things that you are thankful for.

What happens when you train your brain to do this every day?
You will notice all the positive things and those that you can be grateful for even quicker.

What you give attention to, grows.

So, what are you waiting for?
Tell me, what are you grateful for?

When I am writing and posting this, it is still friday morning,
and I feel a deep sense of gratitude. I just had a coffee, after doing a sports class. This coffee and chat I had, was with two fantastic women, who I can call my new friends here.

Read further in comments…

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