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Antonia Behan - Personal and Professional Development

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Antonia Behan - Personal and Professional Development

MSc Child and Adolescent Mental Health and Psychological Practice
BSc (Hons) Psychology
Professional Full details at: www.antoniabehan.com

Empowering you discover your personal and professional objectives, facilitating your process of greater personal peace, happiness and freedom and enabling your overall success.

01/08/2025

Motherhood & Leadership: A Truth We Don’t Say Out Loud
By Antonia Behan

I might not win a popularity contest with this post, but honestly, popularity is overrated.

I care more about what’s real. What’s true. What’s needed.

So here it is:

Motherhood doesn’t just change how we live and work, it changes who we are.

At first, that transformation is wrapped in exhaustion.
Because let’s be honest: we’re so very happily knackered.

But over time, something else begins to emerge:
A different kind of strength.
A radical kind of power.
The kind that leads from the inside out.

And then comes the question:
Do we give that power away, to the cultural expectations of what leadership, equality, and strength are supposed to look like?

Or, do we choose to own it?

To hold our love, our fire, our stories of success and surrender, and make some bold, aligned leadership choices, grounded in who we’ve actually become?

Because here’s the truth:

We can’t live and lead the way we used to.
We can’t keep pretending that nothing’s changed.
We — self-employed, employed, business-owning women — aren’t operating in the same world anymore.

And no matter how much support you have, unless someone hands you a fully-functioning, emotionally stable doppelgänger…

Something’s got to give.

So what does that mean?
For work?
For equality?
For women?
Does it demote us?
Sometimes, yes.
That’s a truth no one likes to say out loud.

But maybe that’s not the right lens.
Maybe it’s not about demotion.
Maybe it’s about redefinition.

Read my full article here https://lnkd.in/dq-ACYQD

03/07/2025

Which voice are your listening to right now?

'I can't' - the voice of defeat
'I don't know how' - the voice of resistance
'I will fail' - the voice that fears failure
'I will be judged' - the voice that fears judgement
'Maybe it won't be as bad as I think?' - the voice of reason
'Maybe I can try?' - the voice of consideration
'Maybe I can find a way?' -the voice of hope
'Maybe there are options I haven't yet considered?' -the voice of curiosity
'Maybe I can do this?' - the voice of encouragement
'I am going to try this? - the voice of assertiveness
'I can do this?' - the voice of confidence
'This actually has great possibility and potential' - the voice of faith
'I deserve to give myself this opportunity' - the voice of self-worth
'Whatever happens, I am okay with me and my choices' - the voice of acceptance
'I know my choice aligns with my truth' - the voice of your soul
'Okay, this is what I am going to do'- the voice of affirmative action
'I won't let fear stop me' - the voice of determination
'I love and believe in myself and my dreams' -the voice of love
'I am doing this, watch me' - the voice of the confident rebel

-Know your voices
-Choose your voices
-Boundary those that do not support you
-Give light to those that do
-Own your truth, own your voices
-This is how you claim your destiny

Learning to grow the voice of love is I believe a life's work. I had to lose my voice, during my teenage years, and I am thankful that I did. It was in losing the voice of love, that I discovered her and I learnt to appreciate, value and strengthen her, where I had previously taken her for granted, and not given her the nurture and care she deserved. This made her vulnerable to the voices of fear, criticism and judgement when they descended on my life.

Through this learning I found my purpose - learning to love. It is my personal endeavour for myself, my family, and it is the essence of the way I choose to offer my services - empowering people to love and believe in themselves.

Asking myself 'Which voice am I listening to right now?'
And, 'Which voice do I want to illuminate now?'
Places me as the conductor of the orchestra in my mind
I may not be able to choose which notes come in and out of play, some are beautiful others harsh, but I can guide the rhythm of my life.

This is the power I want to share with you, for you and for your children - let them grow up with a powerful voice of love

19/06/2025

Sometimes the problem that appears before you is not the actual problem

Sometimes there isn't actually an external problem

Sometimes the problem is within

The problem is the voice that has commanded the stage, influencing you with ideas, thoughts and beliefs that hold true to the voice, but not necessarily to reality.

The voice is powerful, it captures your attention and aligns your perception with its truth

But truth - truth is not fixed, stagnant or limited

Truth is a choice in perception

You know this, but the voice has captured your attention and aligned your perception with its truth and now your perception fuels stong feelings and emotions that appear to validate reality, but actually they are only validating the voice

You are more than the whispers of one voice

You know this is true

Connect with this truth, rise beyond the voice, see the voice as separate to you, name that voice.

Is it fear, doubt, uncertainty, shame, guilt, vulnerability, or something else?

Name it, see it and then see yourself.

Now, you are more than the voice.

Now you get to choose which voice takes the stage

Is it time for love, faith, truth, kindness, compassion, empathy, strength, wisdom, confidence, empowerment, inspiration or wonderment to take the stage, or something else?

Choose your voice and shine your light upon it.

The truth is your choice.

18/06/2025

I recently asked a client, 'How much of your stress right now is being created by your 'I should' beliefs?'

I wonder what your answer is?

Which of these resonate with you?

🟣 I should be better at...
🟣 I should be able to do everything well
🟣 I should be able to multi-task
🟣 I should be able to meet my performance expectations
🟣 I really should be superman/woman/human

Ask yourself this:

🟪 'Where is the voice of 'I should' coming from?
🟪 'Is it logical, realistic, helpful, supportive, or loving?'
🟪 'What do you want to say to the voice of 'I should?'
🟪 Which voice is doing the speaking now?

When you ask yourself these questions, you are standing in the space between reacting to false, unhelpful, unloving, unkind and irrational beliefs that create pressure and stress for you, and what comes next.

The space is where you reclaim your power - from a victim of mind to an empowered leader of your life.

What comes next is your choice.

🩷 I invite you to choose the voice of love to craft your choices.

🩷 Imagine what comes next when you fuel you leadership with love?

10/06/2025

The power of presence has never been so profoud for me until now

The concept of "holding presence" involves being fully and compassionately present with oneself or others.

'Presence' means embracing fully what is - the moment, the feeling, the words, or the silence.

In presence, there is no judgment, there is simply what is, held and embraced in acceptance, without any need to change, to fix, or to soothe.

Presence is raw, presence it is real.

Presence is an art, it is something we learn as psychologists, therapists and counsellors - to be with someone with whatever they bring us, and to be with ourselves with whatever is touched.

Presence demands strength of mind to filter judgment, solutions, relating, impulses and instincts, to give way to unconditional acceptance.

Presence demands strength of heart to hold this safe and heart-centred space, where people are free to simply be with what is.

Presence is a beautiful thing to give to another and it can be so very touching to a point of pain and suffering - because in presence, we are fully in heart, with empathy and compassion, we feel what is real, and sometimes what is real is devastating.

The strength in presence is that when choose to offer it, to hold it, and to be it, our choice is made in love and it is this love that gifts us the strength to embrace what can be devastating.

Life now demands my presence beyond the borders of my profession, motherhood and the natural course of converstions with friends, family and colleagues - now presence is showing me the depth of her power, because presence is all that remains.

In this presence...

The preciounsess of the moment is profoundly felt

Love speaks for the silence

The silent connection only strengthens our bond

Silence becomes a lifeline, a space of compassionate witnessing, without words, judgment, or the need to heal

It speaks without words to say: I see you, I hold you, I am with you, you are not alone, I love you.

Written by Antonia Behan copyright 2025

09/04/2025

One of the most effective ways to grow a team is to walk together in nature

When we walk in nature

Our feet touch the earth and our minds open to life
We hear the birds sing, the trees rustle, and the river flow
We see the light and the shadows
We breathe in the eucalyptus, the pine or the salty sea air
And we feel ourselves present with our breath

When we walk in nature

We walk in the presence of the moment
We walk with ourselves as we are
We walk in truth and authenticity
We walk with a sense of aliveness and vitality
And we feel ourselves present with our breath

When we walk in nature

We walk together connected with ourselves
We walk together connected with the land
We walk together connecting with each other
We walk together making acquaintance with our truth
And together, we feel ourselves present with our breath

Getting out of the office and away from the home
Getting off the computer and away from the phone
Moving into nature and into our nature
We connect, we learn, and we grow together
And together, we feel ourselves present with our breath

Antonia Behan ©️ 2025

07/04/2025

Should we return to in-person coaching and therapy?

I believe the answer is an inconvenient ‘yes’, because, "'Eye contact is where the terror and thrill of intimacy happens" Ryan Howes PhD

Prior to the pandemic, the majority of my practice was in-person. I am grateful that it was possible to maintain client support through our isolation, and I now value the benefits of not having to commute, so that I can give more time to my children, and I definitely value being able to work with clients in Gibraltar, Ireland, the UK and the UAE, from the comfort of my home, but I nevertheless find myself questioning how much more valuable our work is as psychologists, coaches and therapists, when we practice in-person?

My questioning emerged when I felt that the lack of direct eye contact was preventing an important connection with my online clients - it is impossible to make direct eye contact on-line.

According research carried out by Cataldo et al (2021):

🟪 Eye contact significantly enhances emotional connections between psychologists and clients, allowing for greater empathy.
🟪 Eye contact significantly enhances feelings of trust
🟪 Eye contact enhances the quality of the communication because it facilitates engagement and the client's felt sense of being understood.
🟪 Eye contact enabled psychologists to better gauge client emotions and reactions, improving the overall therapeutic process.

While the benefits are clear, Clinical Psychologist Ryan Howes, highlighted the importance of considering people who find direct eye contact incredibly uncomfortable, including those on the ASD spectrum, people experiencing depression, those with low self-esteem, or those who find it uncomfortable due to cultural norms.

As a person who had low-self-esteem and battled depression, it was in those brief moments of eye-to-eye contact with my therapist that I met the light behind her the eyes which fostered a soulful connection where feelings of safety and trust were born. Over time, by further braving discomfort, I was able to deepen my human connection, and this became a major contributor to feeling present and connected with myself.

Personal growth happens through discomfort and we can only truly grow when we can be presented and connected with ourselves and our world.
I believe it is important to create the space for this essential connection to be made if the client wants to, and so I advocate for a return to working locally with our clients.

I look forward to building important connections with you in Sotogrande and Gibraltar.

Antonia

Ask about:

- 'The Inspired Leadership Programme' - A structured coaching and mentoring programme for growing heart-centred leaders.'

And,

- 'Grow your love grow your life - disciver your power, purpose and possobility' - a self-paced personal growth workbook and one-to-one personal discovery, healing, growth and life transformation course.

References:
Cataldo, Francesco, et al. "A Perspective on Client-Psychologist Relationships in Videoconferencing Psychotherapy: Literature Review." JMIR Mental Health, vol. 8, no. 2, 19 Feb. 2021, pp. e19004. doi:10.2196/19004.

Howes, Ryan PhD, ABPP (2012) Eye Contact in Therapy, Part I, Why can't I look at my therapist? Psychology Today Magazine.

24/03/2025

YOUR WORLD NEEDS YOU

Empathy softens the heart
guiding us from our ego-centred reactions
into our heart space
where softness invites us to connect with love.

When we view the other through the eyes of love
we become informed about a far greater story
allowing compassion to move into the pages and chapters of our lives,
crafting a new reality where love presides.

Where tales of villains, conflict and pain
dominated a story of darkness, trauma and suffering
and where emotions were carried strong across the aeons,
when compassion shines her light, everything changes.

A soul is born, and humanity is birthed
we see each other through our vulnerabilities
and we understand there was a reason for the war but now that war is over,
let us learn, so that we do not return.

The villains destroyed lives in pursuit of the reality they wanted to own
but that past is over, and through compassion, acceptance allows for it to rest
From our peace, we can own our power and stand love with all of our might
and affirm that now it is time for love.

We are one humanity, let war not divide one of the most beautiful truths alive
It is time for love to reign throughout our lands
The beauty of the power of love is that every single living being has the power to choose it
Love is yours to own, to live and to share.

Your world needs you to love.

Written by Antonia Behan
Copyright © 2025
www.antoniabehan.com

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19/03/2025

What is love?

During my twenties I embarked on a quest to understand the meaning and purpose of life. It was sparked by a question:

‘Who am I, why am I here and how do I make life better?’

The question was born from a desperate need to know I had a reason for being, something of value to give to people and to life, and a truth that once illuminated would shine a light on the meaning of suffering and the path that would liberate me from the rat race reality and break dawn on a much brighter possibility.

I am so thankful that I dared to ask the question that birthed acceptance of one of my deep truths:

’I am not happy in this life, I am not happy in me, and I want to find my happiness’.

I had been battling depression for most of my adolescence, a depression that arose through multiple traumas, and although I refused to be reduced by it, and consistently strived to heal and grow, it was a fierce battle. It was desperation that pushed me into the great mystery where I wandered boundless in search truth and understanding.

I asked:

‘Why do we suffer and how is suffering overcome?’, so that I might find my peace and happiness, and I questioned the nature of freewill, fate and destiny, eager to understand the mechanics of life and what power, if any, I had in the orchestration of my life; was I free to create or a subject of a much greater story?

My quest for peace, freedom and happiness led me on a profound journey of self-discovery, emotional healing and life transformation where one of the most empowering realisations I encountered was, in my view, a very simple truth: we live in a world of too much fear, and not enough love; we need to learn to grow our love, so that we can embrace our suffering, our fear, and our pain with a brave heart, and not be reduced by what happens to us, and learn to love ourselves so much that we embrace our full authentic presence in acceptance, compassion, loving kindness, and forgiveness, while striving to live our lives in true alignment with our heart-centred values, which for me meant living with peace, freedom, happiness and, kindness, while pursuing meaningful purpose, creating success where is truly matters to my heart, and living joyfully along the way, and when this is not possible, loving anyway.

My truth-seeking quest became a story about learning how to love myself first, and so naturally, I found myself asking,

‘What is love?’ and, ‘How do I grow my love?’, questions that framed my next decade and led to my peace, freedom, and happiness.

This morning, I asked my two-year old, ‘what is love’ and he confidently asserted that the answer is 2. I beam in the beauty of his truth and I wonder, perhaps one day he will write a sequel to ‘The Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy’?

What do you believe about what love is?
What do you understand about how we grow our love?

06/03/2025

https://antoniabehan.com/just-before-you-launch-do-you-ever-experience-a-great-procrastination/

Just before you launch, do you ever experience a great procrastination?

You’ve been working on a project for a long time, the vision is clear, ambitious and exciting, you have aligned with your core values; you know what you want and why it matters to you, and right now all of the pieces that lay a strong foundation for your intending success have come together; you are ready to launch.

I don’t know about you, but for me this is when procrastination has a tendency to arise and spark my mind with a medley of creative ideas that could so easily distract me with convictions about why they offer the path to a greater light. But I have walked this path before and this time my greatest career vision is before me; the dream I birthed over twenty years ago, a dream to write and publish books that inspire and empower people to make life better for ourselves and each other, and I shall not falter.

As I stand before procrastination, in all of her beautiful guises, I invite you to join me and stand before your own procrastinations and, with all of the power of your love, blow a kiss to these excitable friends, thanking them for their inspiration and energy to craft and create, and to then kindly decline their offerings for you are already inspired, you know what you really want, and what you are ready to bring it to life, despite the tension twisting in your gut and a train of ‘what if’ worries sparking in your mind. And when procrastination comes at you with a crippling ailment, lethargy, a book full of excuses, or the manifestation of a brand new to do list with so many tick-box exercises that could gift you a chocolate box full momentary lifts, I invite you to take a pause, breathe deep, reconnect with your greater vision, your core values and the deep inner light within you that is building momentum, and waiting to burst open and shine your greatest story.

Read full article: https://antoniabehan.com/just-before-you-launch-do-you-ever-experience-a-great-procrastination/

27/02/2025

Is your company a love generator?

Did you ever consider the corproate world could be a great generator of love in our world?

In my latest article, I offer why I believe that as well as being a possibility, the love revolution is alreayd happening at this level, and we see it when companies invest in their people in a way that allows for profound healing, growth and transformation.

Companies are people. When enough people operate from a love-centred space, above fear and negativity, you have a beautiful ove revolution.

Read my article:

https://lnkd.in/d_XrXafw

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Providing an empowering coaching and therapy service for English speaking adults and adolescents in Gibraltar, Sotogrande and Nueva Andalucia, and internationally via video Skype. Specialised in facilitating healing of anxiety and depression and relates issues, with a deep passion to support people and organisations in moving into heart-centered values and visions that support local and global harmony and sustainability. Full details at: www.antoniabehan.com