Perinatal Coach & Counselor - Tania Fragoso

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Three separate bodies of research. One nervous system event.If you've spent years struggling to name what happens in tho...
07/05/2026

Three separate bodies of research. One nervous system event.
If you've spent years struggling to name what happens in those moments, this might be part of why. The language available to you never quite fit what was actually happening in your body.

Motherhood can intensify these experiences, and it does not mean that you are failing at it; it just means your nervous system is at capacity. You deserve support that understands all the layers of you.

New blog on mum rage and the neurodivergent mother, link in bio.

06/05/2026

Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day.

A lot gets said about the loneliness. The anxiety. The pressure of getting it right. Less gets said about the rage.

The moment something came out of you that you didn't recognise. And the shame that followed, the kind that doesn't lift cleanly, that follows you into the next room and sits there.

For neurodivergent mothers, that shame carries something extra. Because it didn't feel like a bad day. It felt like evidence of something.

What is often not seen is what has been building up in the background, for hours, sometimes days.

The sensory overload, executive depletion, small irritations building without a name. In a body that had no other way to tell you it was coming.

The evidence was not pointing at you being a bad mother. It was showing you that you are under-supported, and often unseen and with needs that are unmet.

I wrote about it over at my blog, you can find the link on my bio

05/05/2026

This week is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week. Today is Voices of Experience — and this is mine.

13 years ago I was sitting in my counsellor's office, still raw from a traumatic birth, and I said something I hadn't planned to say.
I want to retrain. I want to help women going through this.

Birth trauma cost me things I can't get back. Years. Moments with my twins I wasn't fully present for. I know the weight of that.

What I wouldn't let it do was dictate the rest.
It took a couple of years to act on that sentence in the counsellor's office. First as a doula — sitting with women in labour, holding the space I'd never had. Then as a birth trauma advocate. Then back into training, all the way into the counselling room.

The same work. Different chair.
Not polished. Not linear. But real. And I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. 🌿

From an essay I wrote earlier this month, on alexithymia and the long, non-linear work of finding the way back to yourse...
01/05/2026

From an essay I wrote earlier this month, on alexithymia and the long, non-linear work of finding the way back to yourself.
For anyone in that work right now. 🌿

Late diagnosis is rarely just relief. Underneath the framework, the language, the validation, there is usually a layer o...
29/04/2026

Late diagnosis is rarely just relief. Underneath the framework, the language, the validation, there is usually a layer of grief that takes longer to settle.

Grief for the years of self-blame. For the version of yourself who was trying so hard with so little. For what those years cost. And, often, for the woman you might have been if someone had named it sooner.

This grief does not mean the diagnosis was wrong. It means something true is finally being acknowledged, often for the first time.

It does pass. But it deserves to be acknowledged and grieved. 🌿

28/04/2026

You don't actually need a reason.
You don't need to hold all the facts,
you don't need to compare your story to anyone else who had it 'worse than you'
You deserve support.

A birth debrief is a structured, unhurried conversation with someone trained to hold the space safely. Not therapy. Not a clinical review. Somewhere your birth can finally be understood.
For many of the women I support, it's the conversation that finally helps them make sense of what happened. And that, on its own, can begin to shift something significant.

If your birth is still sitting with you, in your thoughts, your body, or quietly underneath your days, that is reason enough. 🌿

Instability. Overreaction. Weakness. You have heard them all. None of them was ever true.It is ADHD and autism in a worl...
25/04/2026

Instability. Overreaction. Weakness. You have heard them all. None of them was ever true.

It is ADHD and autism in a world that was not designed for either. And underneath all of it, a brain doing exactly what it learned to do, protecting you in the only way it knew how.

You deserve care that understands this. Not care that asks you to be less. 🌿

TraumaInformed BirthTrauma YouAreNotTooMuch

There is an emotion wheel on my desk. The kind that radiates outward from the simple words at the centre: happy, sad, an...
22/04/2026

There is an emotion wheel on my desk. The kind that radiates outward from the simple words at the centre: happy, sad, angry, afraid, into ever finer distinctions.
I used to sit with it with my children, trying to give them the language I never had.
I got completely lost in it. Every time.
Not because I wasn't feeling anything. But because I was feeling everything, and I had no map for any of it.

That disconnect has a name: alexithymia. And for ADHD and autistic mothers, it is far more common than anyone tells you.
Swipe through. 🌿

Full essay on Substack: Wired Differently, Mothering Anyway link in bio.

20/04/2026

For a neurodivergent mother carrying Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, the silence is not passivity.
It is protection. Carefully, painfully learned.
Every time she considered saying I am not okay , and then didn't, there was a reason. A tone she remembered. A look she'd seen before. A moment when she spoke up and discovered it would have been easier to stay quiet.
By the time motherhood arrives, that lesson is years in the making.
What she needs first is not a strategy. It is a space where speaking up doesn't cost her anything. Where she can say the thing she has been carrying and not brace for the verdict.
That space is not nothing. For many of the women I work with, it is the beginning of everything.

If this resonated , my free postpartum guide for ADHD and autistic mothers is at the link in bio. It's a starting point written specifically for a brain like yours. 🌿

15/04/2026

Alexithymia is not the absence of feeling. It is the absence of a map.

The emotions are all there, sometimes louder than most people will ever experience. But the internal landscape has become illegible.

Even to the person living in it.

For neurodivergent mothers, this creates a particular kind of struggle. We are told to self-regulate. To name our feelings. To model emotional literacy for our children. But what happens when no one ever gave us the language for our own inner world?

You are not broken. You are navigating without a map that should have been given to you a very long time ago. 🌿

AutisticMother EmotionalRegulation NeuroAffirming MaternalMentalHealth

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