13/07/2025
Why do children blame themselves for bad things that happen in their childhood?
Young children see the world mainly from their own point of view. This is called egocentrism. It doesn't mean they're selfish—it just means their brains are still developing, and they can't fully understand how other people think or feel yet.
Because of this, when something painful happens—like a parent leaving, a death in the family, or fighting at home—they often think, “This must be my fault.”
Even if no one says it's their fault, their young minds try to make sense of the pain by blaming themselves—because that’s the only way they understand the world at that age.
This self-blame can stick with them for years, even after they grow up and learn it wasn’t really their fault. That’s why therapists or counselors need to look at how old someone was when the trauma happened—because the way they understood the event back then affects how they still feel about it now.
Gashaw Aweke
