Fat Fives Football

11/11/2025

TITLE FLIP! 🤯 New Leaders Emerge After Downpour Battle! ☔️

Week 10 of Fat Fives Football was defined by a total downpour of drama! 🌧️

The chasing pack showed incredible resilience and fighting spirit to deliver a shock victory that flipped the title race, installing a new leader and blowing the league wide open! 🌬️

You won't believe the resilience shown at the bottom, where one struggling team delivered a massive performance, securing vital points that allow them to pull ahead, leaving a tense, two-team relegation fight that will go right down to the wire!

Click the link below to see the full highlights and find out who survived the storm and who seized the title lead! 👇

https://youtu.be/5Qp1EeWZpcw?si=o2YHbZhjniMDzdy8

What was the most dramatic moment of the week for you?

Week 10 of Fat Fives Football was defined by a total downpour of drama! 🌧️The chasing pack showed incredible resilience and fighting spirit! Against a top t...

10/11/2025

🏁 The Final Push! Week 11 Updates Are Here! 🤯
With only one week left in Season 9, the pressure is truly immense! After a slightly delayed fixture schedule, the teams were back on the pitch, and the results have perfectly set the stage for a Grand Final Showdown! Who will secure the trophy, and who will face relegation? ⬇️

Team of the Week! 🌟
A huge congratulations to our Week 11 TOTW Captain, Martin G, who steered the team with an excellent 1.8kg loss! Talk about saving your best for the final weeks!

He's joined by Paul T (1.2kg), Doug (1.2kg), Adam Mc (1.1kg), Jamie R (1.1kg), Graeme C (1.1kg), Konnor (1.1kg), Willie (1.0kg), Niall (0.8kg), Gilly (0.8kg), and Michael L (0.8kg).

Fantastic work from everyone showing up on the scales as we head toward the finish line! 👏

Weight Loss Competitions! 🏆
The race for the ultimate weight loss title is a dead heat!

Loss Leader: The perfect trio remains! Willie, Jamie R, and James W are all still on incredible, perfect runs, now standing at 27/27 points! Willie holds the overall lead based on his percentage of weight lost throughout the season.

Team Weight Loss: Rapid Viennetta maintains their lead at the top of the overall team weight loss leaderboard with 73 points, followed by O.B. City (68 pts), and Ivory Toast (57 pts).

Individual Awards! 🥇🍫
The top individual players are charging for the finish line!

Golden Chocolate Boot: David B has powered ahead, now sitting on a commanding 91 goals! Paddy is in 2nd with 73, and John R in 3rd with 70.

POTS: David B looks difficult to catch at the top with 61 points! Paddy is in 2nd on 55 points, with James W in 3rd on 49.

League Standings & Match Results! 📊
The results this week have perfectly maintained the tension for the final week!

Both Fatburn Rovers and Parmesan Belgrade had flawless weeks, winning all their games and keeping the title race razor-thin.

In contrast, both Flaberdeen and Bayern Bru had a rough week with 0 wins.

The result? Parma stays top, but only by 2 points! The final week will decide the title! Meanwhile, Scrandinavia has closed the gap to Flaberdeen to just 4 points, meaning the relegation fight is far from over! The mid-table is also congested, with only 9 points separating 3rd and 6th place!

It's all to play for in the final week! Who are you backing? 👇

10/11/2025

We know the new offshore weight limits reported by the BBC have a lot of people feeling anxious, and if that’s you, you’re definitely not alone. The pressure to meet these requirements can feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve struggled with traditional fitness routines in the past.

At Fat Fives Football, our league is designed for real men facing real challenges. Nobody’s judging you here. We get that weight loss isn’t easy, and our community is built around encouragement, support, and having a laugh every week. It’s about finding joy in movement, making genuine friends, and feeling proud as you see results not just on the scales, but in your confidence.

We’ve helped our members lose over 900kg so far, and every journey is different. Whether you’re worried about keeping your job, want to be healthier for your family, or just want a new way to manage your weight in a positive, lasting way: there’s a place for you with us.

Don’t let anxiety hold you back. Drop us a message if you want to chat through your worries or learn more about our leagues. You don’t have to face this alone!

Check out the BBC article here: https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cx274xp00zxo

Thousands of offshore workers are too heavy for the limitations of helicopter winch systems.

27/10/2025

☔️ The Title Race FLIPS in a Downpour of Drama! 💨
The tables have turned, the gauntlet has been thrown, and the league is in absolute chaos after a pivotal Week 10! The pressure cooker of the top spot finally blew, and the fight to avoid the bottom is now a tense two-team tussle, all while braving a total downpour and gale-force winds! ⬇️

Team of the Week! 🌟
A huge round of applause for our Week 10 TOTW Captain, Nathan, who led the way with a superb 2.1kg loss! What an incredible, wind-breaking performance in a crucial week! 🌬️

He's joined by Chuckie (2.0kg), Zac (1.4kg), Jonny (1.1kg), Josh C (1.0kg), Aidan (0.8kg), Taylor (0.7kg), Joshua (0.5kg), Lewis B (0.5kg), James W (0.3kg), and Cal (0.3kg).

Well done to everyone who kept their focus and stepped on the scales this week! 👏

Weight Loss Competitions! 🏆
The pursuit of perfection is creating a legendary battle at the top of the scales!

Loss Leader: The incredible consistency continues! Willie, Jamie, and James W are all still on perfect runs, now standing at an untouchable 24/24 points! That's a storm-proof effort! 💪

Team Weight Loss: Rapid Viennetta maintains their lead at the top of the overall team weight loss leaderboard with 66 points, followed by O.B. City (62 pts), and Ivory Toast (51 pts).

Individual Awards! 🥇🍫
The top individual players are now pulling away from the pack!

Golden Chocolate Boot: No stopping the leader now! David B extends his lead at the top of the scoring charts with 85 goals, leaving John in 2nd on 70, and Paddy holding 3rd on 63. He's certainly scoring in torrents! 💦

POTS: David B continues to dominate the Player of the Season leaderboard with 59 points! Paddy jumps to 2nd on 50 points, with Mitchell in 3rd on 45.

League Standings & Match Results! 📊
The results this week changed everything at both ends of the table!

SHOCK RESULT! Parmesan Belgrade beat Fatburn Rovers in the battle at the top! This pivotal result completely flips the league standings, with Parma now leading the league by 2 points! The title race is being blown wide open! 🌬️

Flaberdeen picked up 6 vital points to pull away from Scrandinavia, surging to 32 points, only 3 points behind Rapid Viennetta!

Scrandinavia unfortunately ended the week with 0 points from three losses, intensifying the relegation fight.

The middle of the table is just as tight: O.B. City and Bayern Bru are now tied on 46 points, with Ivory Toast in 5th place only 2 points behind them!

Check out the full graphic to see the new leaders and the brutal two-way fight at the bottom! This is getting intense! 😱

What result surprised you the most this week? Tell us in the comments! 👇

25/10/2025

RAIN, GOALS, & A 1-POINT LEAD! ☔️ Week 9 Highlights are LIVE!
Week 9 of Fat Fives Football was an absolute deluge of drama! 🌧️

A surprise rain shower added a challenge to the matches, and the league saw the title race tighten to just a single point! 🤯 Two teams turned their form around to secure 7 crucial points, while the relegation battle saw the bottom two teams finish the week separated by a single, terrifying point!

Click the link below to see the full highlights and find out who soaked up the pressure and who got washed out! 👇

Watch the Highlights! https://youtu.be/SrRPpdJ0eg4

What was the most dramatic moment of the week for you?

Week 9 of Fat Fives Football was an absolute deluge of drama! 🌧️ A surprise rain shower added a slippery challenge to the matches, and the league saw the ti...

24/10/2025

Hold onto your boots, lads, tonight's schedule is doing its own warm-up! We've had a last-minute change in fixtures for tonight's matches, so please check the updated info below and make sure your team is ready for a fresh line-up!

Let’s bring the energy tonight, whoever you face on the pitch! 💪⚽️ Missing out is NOT an option: see you there for another rollercoaster ride of goals, teamwork, and laughs. Drop a ⚡ if you’re buzzing for kick-off!

23/10/2025

☔️ Week 10 Fixtures Are LIVE! ☔️
After a rainy Week 9 that saw the title race tighten to a single point and the relegation battle become a nightmare for both Flaberdeen and Scrandinavia, the pressure is immense for Week 10! 🤯

The floodlights will be on tonight! Every match is critical as we push toward the final weeks of the season. Will the leaders extend their advantage, or will the chasing pack finally seize the top spot?

Check out the attached graphic for the full list of Week 10 fixtures. Get ready for some high-stakes football! ⚔️

Good luck to all the players! 💪

22/10/2025

Great to see our own Belly (Kevin Morrison) making a wee appearance in Athens ahead of the Dons European tie this week 😁

19/10/2025

Rain soaked the pitch, but it couldn't dampen the fire! 🌧️⚽️ The Week 9 action was a wild ride: slippery challenges, heart-stopping goals, and drama tighter than your old jeans after Christmas dinner! 😅

Shoutout to our Team of the Week led by the unstoppable Willie, who's sporting the armband for the THIRD time, dropping a legendary 2.2kg! He’s joined by a powerhouse crew: Martin G, Liam, Ash, Matt S, Andrew S, Jamie, Connor M, David B, Taylor, and Brady: all smashing their goals (and records!).🔥👏

Spotlight on Willie, Jamie & James for keeping perfect streaks, with Willie holding the top spot by % lost. Rapid Viennetta are still kings of the "slimmed-down" leaderboard: someone stop them! 🏆

And in the race for the Golden Chocolate Boot: David B just edges to 73 goals, but John (70) and Paddy (57) are right on his tail! Table madness everywhere: Fatburn Rovers up by 1, Flaberdeen hanging by a thread over Scrandinavia… If you love drama, you’re in the right league! 😮

Massive congrats to everyone: every effort is a win, rain or shine. Share your highlight moment below, and let’s keep making history. Who’s your MOTM?

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17/10/2025

STORMING COMEBACK! 🤯 Week 8 Highlights are LIVE!
After Storm Amy forced the cancellation of the previous games, Fat Fives Football was back with an absolute vengeance! 🌪️

You won't believe the drama that unfolded! One team put in a massive, morale-boosting performance that sent shockwaves through the relegation zone, and the bottom of the table has a new occupant! 😱

Plus, watch the action as two rivals go neck-and-neck to create a dramatic tie for the Golden Chocolate Boot!

Click the link below to see the full highlights and find out who got swept away! 👇

https://youtu.be/46W-UPpaheY

What was the biggest surprise of the weekend for you? Let us know!

YouTube Title:STORMING COMEBACK! 🤯 A Bottom Team Surges Up The Table! | Fat Fives S9 Highlights - Week 8YouTube Description:After Storm Amy forced the cance...

16/10/2025

💡 Week 9 Fixtures Are LIVE! The Storm is Over, The Fight Continues! 💡
After the drama of Week 8—which saw Flaberdeen surge and Scrandinavia hit the bottom—the pressure for points is at an all-time high! The three-way battle for the bottom spot and the close fight for the league title are set to deliver an incredible Week 9.

We're under the floodlights again tonight! Every match is crucial as the season speeds toward the final whistle.

Check out the attached graphic for the full list of Week 9 fixtures. Get your teams ready—this is going to be a must-win week! ⚔️

Good luck to all the players! 💪

16/10/2025

STV News and our very own Finlay Jack did a fantastic piece earlier this year about Fat Fives Football. Sadly, due to plans to centralise the show to Glasgow, pieces like the one they did on Fat Fives Football will no longer be possible.

As you may have read, STV News is planning on scrapping its flagship News at Six programme that’s presented and produced from Aberdeen. This is in favour of a centralised show that will be presented and produced from Glasgow.

As a result, jobs will be lost, and local voices won’t be heard. Politicians of all colours are behind STV News Employees fight to keep the show local to the North-east of Scotland, but as Ofcom consider STV’s application to centralise the show, STV News Employees need as much support as they can get.

Please sign this petition to save STV North.

Save STV North