Fat Fives Football

21/02/2026

Absolutely smashed our record attendance tonight with 70+ lads attending tonight and 5 pitches running till games simultaneously! 😱 A huge shout-out and thank you to all our members who have attended since the start of the year making our highest attended season so far in our history! ♥️ Huge dedication shown by all and some huge weights being shifted this year 💪👏

20/02/2026

WEEK 4: THE TEMPERATURE DROPS, THE PRESSURE RISES! ❄️⚽
The horizontal rain has finally cleared, but it’s going to be an absolute freezer on the turf tonight! While the weather has settled, the Season 10 table is anything but stable as we head into a massive Week 4.

🌟 THE STATE OF PLAY

Dead Heat at the Top: After a huge week of results, Bayern Bru and Scrandinavia are locked at the summit, tied on points. With only goal difference separating 1st and 2nd, every single strike tonight is vital.

The Chasing Pack: O.B City are looming large in 3rd place, sitting just 3 points behind the leaders. They proved last week they can handle the pressure—can they close the gap even further tonight?

Fight for Momentum: Further down the table, it’s a battle for consistency. Teams like Flaberdeen, Rapid Viennetta, and Parmesan Belgrade are separated by the narrowest of margins, meaning one big result tonight could see them rocket up the standings.

It was a dry but freezing session last time out, and tonight looks to be more of the same. The attendance has been outstanding so far this season—let's keep that energy going under the lights!

Check the graphic below for the full fixture list and kick-off times! 🖼️👇

20/02/2026

Spectacular goal from Jonny with the diving header to secure the 3 points for O.B City! 😱👏🥅
Watch our weekly highlights at youtube.com/

20/02/2026

ICE COLD FINISHES! ❄️⚽ | WEEK 3 HIGHLIGHTS ARE LIVE
The weather finally dried up, but it was freezing on the turf for Week 3! While the temperature dropped, the competition for places only got hotter as the Season 10 table begins to take shape.

🌟 THE STATE OF PLAY

The Battle for the Summit: Two teams are currently locked in a dead heat at the top of the table—see if anyone managed to pull ahead this week.
Closing the Gap: With only 3 points separating 3rd place from the leaders, one result in this video has massive implications for the title race.
The Fight for Points: At the other end of the table, every goal mattered as teams fought to climb out of the bottom spots.
Clean Sheets & Clinical Strikes: See which defenses held firm in the frost and which strikers found their range to secure vital points.

The table is incredibly tight and every result counts. Catch the full breakdown and all the goals right here!

WATCH NOW: https://youtu.be/So09y1jjXk4 📺

OFFICIAL SEASON 10 SPONSORS 🤝 A huge thank you to our partners helping us make this season the best yet:🏆 The Offshore Coach - Sponsor of the Team Weight L...

16/02/2026

Jack smashes it in week 2! 👏 over 3kg lost in week 2, captain jack talks with us about what's worked for him this week and his goals for Parmesan Belgrade in Season 10.

16/02/2026

WEEK 4: ICE COLD FINISHES & MASSIVE LOSSES! ❄️⚽
The weather finally dried up this week, but it was absolutely freezing on the turf! The drop in temperature didn't stop the heat on the pitch or the scales, with another outstanding attendance showing the commitment levels are through the roof.

🌟 TEAM OF THE WEEK 🌟

Our Week 4 squad was led by a standout performance from Captain Matt S, who smashed it with a 2.2kg loss! He was joined by an elite crew of movers: Craig Mat (1.5kg), Lewis P (1.5kg), Lewis F (1.4kg), Konnor (1.3kg), Greg A (1.2kg), Taylor (1.2kg), Greg R (1.1kg), Willie (1.0kg), Chris (0.9kg), and Jonny (0.9kg). 📈

🏆 THE OFFSHORE COACH: TEAM WEIGHT LOSS 🏆

Our partners at The Offshore Coach are helping us navigate the journey from scales to goals. In a massive turn of events, O.B City has surged to the top of the standings with 28 points! Scrandinavia sits in 2nd on 25, with Ivory Toast right in the mix in 3rd with 24 points. ⚓

⚖️ LOSS LEADER ⚖️

The race for the Loss Leader title is incredibly tight! The entire top 10 are on perfect runs so far with 6 points each. Greg A currently holds the top spot, followed by Callum M and Lewis F in 2nd and 3rd based on percentage lost.

🎖️ INDIVIDUAL HONOURS & THE BOOT 👟

Player of the Season (POTS): Timber has pulled away at the top with 21 points! James W is chasing in 2nd on 18, while Barry M, David B, and Lewis P are all locked in a three-way tie for 3rd on 15 points.

The Chocolate Boot: We have a new leader! Connor has taken the top spot with 13 goals. He’s being hunted by Callum M and Loon, who are both tied on 12, with Chris rounding out the top pack on 10 goals. 🍫⚽

📊 LEAGUE STANDINGS & RESULTS 📊

It was a tough night for Flaberdeen and Fatburn Rovers, who both finished the week without a win. Meanwhile, the title race is neck-and-neck as Scrandinavia, Bayern Bru, and O.B City all picked up a massive 7 points each.

At the summit, Bayern Bru stay top, tied with Scrandinavia on 22 points. O.B City remains the persistent threat in 3rd, still only 3 points behind. At the bottom, the fight for survival is on as Flaberdeen and Rapid Viennetta are tied on 7 points, with Parmesan Belgrade just 1 point behind them.

A massive thank you to our Season 10 partners:
🏆 The Offshore Coach | 🍔 McDonald's

13/02/2026

STORM PROOF! 🌪️⚽ | WEEK 2 HIGHLIGHTS ARE LIVE
The weather definitely didn’t play ball this week, but the lads certainly did! Despite horizontal rain and gales, the effort on the turf was next level as the Fat Fives Football Season 10 table starts to take shape.

🌟 WHAT’S IN THE VIDEO?

Grit vs. Gales: Watch how the teams handled the brutal conditions.

Table Shake-ups: A massive result in the mid-table could change everything.

Clinical Finishing: The strikers were out in force to keep the race for the Chocolate Boot red hot.

Unbeaten Runs: Can the early pace-setters maintain their perfect start?

The weather gods might be throwing everything at us, but they haven't seen anything compared to the heat brought to the pitch! Check out all the goals, the grit, and the latest from the scales in the full Week 2 highlights.

WATCH NOW: https://youtu.be/MOxLt8h2p7M 📺

A massive thank you to our Season 10 partners:
🏆 The Offshore Coach | 🍔 McDonald's

OFFICIAL SEASON 10 SPONSORS 🤝 A huge thank you to our partners helping us make this season the best yet:🏆 The Offshore Coach - Sponsor of the Team Weight L...

12/02/2026

WEEK 3: THE BATTLE CONTINUES! ⚔️⚽
After two weeks of braving the elements, the Season 10 table is already looking incredibly competitive. The opening rounds have proven that no result is guaranteed on the Fat Fives Football turf!

Bayern Bru currently set the pace at the summit of the league, but the chasing pack is within striking distance. Scrandinavia sits in 2nd place, trailing the leaders only on goal difference, while O.B City are hot on their heels in 3rd, just 3 points behind the top two. With points on the line and momentum up for grabs, the pressure is on to perform heading into tomorrow's fixtures.

It’s just as tight in the Offshore Coach Team Weight Loss Award standings! Scrandinavia currently holds a narrow lead, but with Parmesan Belgrade and O.B City only one point behind, tomorrow night could see a total shift in the rankings.

Check the graphic below for the full fixture list! 🖼️👇

11/02/2026

WEEK 2: BRAVING THE ELEMENTS & SMASHING GOALS! 🌪️⚽
The storm certainly didn’t subside this week, but neither did the hunger for progress! The effort on and off the pitch continues to get stronger and stay incredibly resilient. Even with horizontal rain and gale-force winds battering the turf, we saw another outstanding attendance—a massive testament to the dedication of every player involved. The weather gods might be throwing everything at us, but they haven't seen anything compared to the heat the lads are bringing to the game right now!

🌟 TEAM OF THE WEEK 🌟

Our Week 2 squad was led by a powerhouse performance from our Captain, Jack S, who smashed it with a massive 3.1kg loss! He was joined by an elite crew of movers: Willie (2.7kg), Homer (2.6kg), Loon (2.2kg), Taylor (2.0kg), Callum M (1.7kg), Greg R (1.7kg), Terry M (1.7kg), Terry A (1.6kg), Lewis F (1.6kg), and a cheeky inclusion for our very own Commissioner Chopper, who managed a solid 1.7kg loss—look at that, leading from the front for a change! 📈

🏆 THE OFFSHORE COACH: TEAM WEIGHT LOSS 🏆

Our partners at The Offshore Coach are proud to sponsor the Team Weight Loss Award, helping us navigate the journey from scales to goals. In the hunt for the team title, Scrandinavia is currently setting the pace at the top with 17 points. They are being chased hard by Parmesan Belgrade and O.B City, both sitting on 16, with Ivory Toast right in the mix on 15 points. ⚓

⚖️ LOSS LEADER ⚖️

The individual weight loss race is catching fire! In the Loss Leader standings, the entire top 10 are locked on 3 points, with Greg A currently leading on percentage lost, followed by Loon and Callum.

🎖️ INDIVIDUAL HONOURS & THE BOOT 👟

The individual accolades are heating up as we settle into the season!

Player of the Season (POTS): David holds his ground at the top but is now joined by Timber, both on 13 points, while the rest of the top 10 are breathing down their necks on 10 points.

The Chocolate Boot: The clinical finishes are coming thick and fast despite the conditions! Callum M is the man to catch with 10 goals, followed by Connor in 2nd on 8. They are being pursued by a pack of sharp-shooters including David, Chris, Loon, and Ross C, all currently on 7 goals. 🍫⚽

📊 LEAGUE STANDINGS & RESULTS 📊

The league table is starting to take shape with some massive results this week. Bayern Bru are the early pace-setters, securing a perfect 9/9 points with three wins to sit top on goal difference. Scrandinavia remains in 2nd, but O.B City made a huge statement by inflicting their first defeat of the season, moving into 3rd and just 3 points off the summit. Meanwhile, Rapid Viennetta and Parmesan Belgrade both secured vital wins to get their seasons moving, leaving the bottom two teams separated only by goal difference.

A massive thank you to our Season 10 partners for supporting the journey: 🏆 The Offshore Coach – Sponsor of the Team Weight Loss Award 🍔 McDonald's – Bib & General Sponsor

09/02/2026

4kg lost in week one!! 😱 Greg tells us how he managed to avoid the xmas bloat and smashed it in week 1!

06/02/2026

A NEW YEAR. A NEW SEASON. WE ARE BACK! 🏁⚽

The wait is finally over! Fat Fives Football has returned for Season 10, and we couldn't have asked for a more dramatic start to 2026.

The weather gods certainly put us to the test with horizontal rain and gale-force winds, but it took more than a storm to dampen the spirit of the lads. It was incredible to see everyone back on the pitch, shaking off the winter break and clinical as ever in front of goal. 🌪️

Watch the full Week 1 comeback here: https://youtu.be/9mNmDIWOiQM

A huge thank you to our Season 10 partners for supporting the journey: 🏆 The Offshore Coach – Sponsor of The Offshore Coach Team Weight Loss Award 🍔 McDonald's – Bib & General Sponsor

OFFICIAL SEASON 10 SPONSORS 🤝 A huge thank you to our partners helping us make this season the best yet:🏆 The Offshore Coach - Sponsor of the Team Weight L...

05/02/2026

SEASON 10 HAS OFFICIALLY BLOWN US AWAY! 🏁🌪️

We didn't just kick off a new year; we stormed right into it! Despite horizontal rain and gale-force winds, the Fat Fives Football family showed up in force to whisk away those winter blues. The energy on the pitch (and the scales!) is electric for Season 10. The journey to a legendary 2026 starts now! ⬇️

TEAM OF THE WEEK 🌟

A huge congratulations to our Week 1 TOTW Captain, Greg, who led the charge with an impressive 4.0kg loss! He's joined by our top performers who really weathered the storm:

• Greg (Captain): 4.0kg loss

• Loon: 3.7kg

• Callum M: 2.8kg

• Chuckie: 2.8kg

• Lewis For: 2.5kg

• Matthew Mac: 2.4kg

• Mark B: 2.2kg

• Ross H: 2.0kg

• Sam S: 1.6kg

• Lewis F: 1.5kg

• Homer: 1.5kg

Fantastic work from everyone showing up on the scales as we kick off the season! 👏

WEIGHT LOSS COMPETITIONS 🏆

The race for the weight loss title is heating up! Many players start on 1 point, with Greg A, Loon, and Callum M leading the charge based on weight loss percentage. The rain may be pouring, but the competition is reaching boiling point!

• The Offshore Coach Team Weight Loss: Parmesan Belgrade are the pace-setters with 8 points

• Scrandinavia: 7 points

• Ivory Toast: 7 points

• Bayern Bru: 5 points

A massive thank you to The Offshore Coach for sponsoring this award for Season 10! Tyler is a qualified Nutritionist, Personal Trainer, and provides tailored one-to-one coaching support focused on fat loss. Check them out here: https://link.fatfives.football/toc

INDIVIDUAL AWARDS 🥇

• Golden Chocolate Boot: Stuka leads with 6 goals

• David B: 5 goals

• Callum M, David P, and Ross C: 4 goals

• Player of the Season: David B and Loon are tied at the top with 11 points

• Ross C, Stuka, and Timber: 2 points

WEEK 1 RESULTS ⚽

The results this week have set the stage for an exciting season!

• O.B City had a thunderous win over Rapid Viennetta with a score of 11-3

• Scrandinavia walked away with a perfect 9 points

• Parmesan Belgrade and Rapid Viennetta didn't secure a single win in the deluge

• Ivory Toast managed to scrape 6 points with two gritty 2-1 victories

📊 LEAGUE STANDINGS 📊

Scrandinavia sent a massive message with a perfect 9-point haul! The league standings see Scrandinavia at the top with 9 points, followed by O.B City, Bayern Bru, Fatburn Rovers, and Ivory Toast all on 6 points (in that order based on goal difference). Flaberdeen sits on 3 points, while Parmesan Belgrade and Rapid Viennetta are both at 0, with Parmesan Belgrade above on goal difference.

WHO STOOD OUT FOR YOU? 📣⚽️👇

The conditions were tough, but the performances were tougher!

Which team do you think will be the one to watch this season?

Or who was your personal MVP for "weathering the storm" in Week 1?

Drop a comment below and let’s get the Season 10 chatter started!