03/05/2026
°☆♡Happy Sunday beautiful Souls♡○°
I was fit for nothing yesterday, and have just woke up after a 12hr sleep 😴 thank goodness my bladder coped 😬
I am hoping today is not as heavy and I can get out the house for a wee while.
I am still not learning to accept the fatigue, the floaty days when nothing stays still no matter what I do, even though I tell everyone else that they are doing a great job and to be kind to themselves for how far they have come and how well they are doing 💪 an off day really rattles me 😵💫
Lately I have been grieving my old life, going to gigs, playing at open mic nights, getting on a bus, long beach walks, lifting weights, working out, gardening without having to get the kids to help me dig out or move stuff, painting or building projects, driving wherever and whenever I wanted, going to Primark 🤣....all the things I would have spent my child free weekends doing as an independent Mum of 3 💪😇
Instead of pretending that I am ok with it, knowing there are folk a lot worse off than me ( which I do ) I have just accepted that I am angry.......yup ANGRY 😠 😡 not a post you would expect from me but.....I am going to allow these words to flow...
* Angry that I have this condition that I was convinced I would recover from by now even though its chronic and has a multitude of symptoms all who enjoy playing whack-a-mole with my body.
*Angry that I had just started going out playing and singing live again and overcoming my crushing stage fright to end up barely able to hold a guitar a few months later.
*Angry that it has robbed me of the past 18mths and stopped me from running my beloved Healing Hut and seeing you all for woo woo time and Angels
*Angry that my family has been put through hell by people in authority who have lied and tried to cover up a situation which was not dealt with in the manner in which it should have been. Making a mockery of " policies and procedures " and all they should stand for. Then sending an email with confidential information to the perpetrators leaving us open targets for harassment which came flooding in on the daily.
*Angry that my child has been left traumatised by something that should never ever have happened to any child, and the people I had trusted destroyed a childhood with absolutely no remorse and instead of accepting accountability or at the very least checking on my child afterwards they denied the whole thing ever happened.
2yrs on and my child is still having ongoing counselling for the affect this has had. Seemingly there is no law on using parental controls and according to the police it is up to the parents if they allow access to explicit content.....that was news to me and I have done countless hours of child protection training and safeguarding.
*Angry that we had to move house ( even though we all absolutely love it here now ) and go through all the hassle, expense, logistics and exhaustion rather than moving the perpetrators.
*Angry that justice has not been carried out and that the authorities have all covered up the deletion of an email which I have proof was sent to the perpetrators.
So, yes a lot of anger has boiled up and boiled over this weekend but now I have acknowledged just how angry this has made me I am ready to face the day.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to be " perfect " and yes I would always choose kindness and compassion as thats how I would like to be treated but I am ALLOWED to also be angry.
That's a big realisation, maybe my body needed to recognise and acknowledge that in order for me to have a steadier day today.
Our feelings are always valid, our emotions are always valid allow them to flow. Otherwise your body will be throwing up subtle symptoms ( or not so subtle in my case ) until you acknowledge and sit with them and then work through them.
Years ago I remember saying to one of my Angelic Reiki clients that you need to feel it to heal it, I just remembered that conversation. Perfect, divine timing as always 🙏
So, stop swallowing down your hurt, upset, grief, anger, resentment allow, allow, allow and take this as your permission slip to acknowledge how and why you feel like this in this moment.
Now, I am off to get ready for the day already lighter and less burdened and still very upset that I am not at MacMoray but I will dry my eyes, put on my big girl pants and face the day choosing to make the most of it.
Have a beautiful Sunday and enjoy the Mayday holiday which lands on international Star Wars day tomorrow 😀 ✨️ May the 4th be with you!!
Love Kimmy 💛
