30/01/2025
Has Hell had an Upgrade?
Hell. Is it real? Does Hell exist? Ying-Yang. ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.’ (Newton’s Third Law of Motion)
Ergo, If there is a Heaven, there must be a Hell.
We were told as kids, in church, at school, that Heaven and Hell are very real, so watch out ! Be good or else. OK, I’ve tried to walk the good line mostly, (Your Honour) just to edge my bets. Heaven sounds a bit of all right. On the other hand, Hell sounds a bit dodgy at best. Who would want to go to Hell?
Having said all this, let me introduce you to a theory of mine.
Hell has had an upgrade. Seriously. An upgrade. The Devil, Beelzebub, Satan, call him what you will, of late, he just couldn’t afford the gas bills. (none of us can) It was becoming that cold day in Hell (so often talked about) So, what to do? The Devil decided to economise, and so, he moved the goalposts. Hell is now on earth. Seriously. And just to make it interesting, lots of us on earth (sinners) are dead but we just don’t know it. This is a 2 cup of tea concept, so hear me out.
Fellow sinners, embrace the new Hell. It’s not fire and brimstone anymore. No Sir, it’s a whole lot worse.
What is this new Hell like? Well, if your reading this, you should know. Let me jog your memory.
The new Hell is a world of drudgery, fear and uncertainty by and large. Our world is a very different place. It’s changed so subtly that we were beguiled. We didn’t really notice. Instead of fire and brimstone, we have wars on our doorstep. We have a government that hates us. Civil unrest. Unabated illegal immigration. Knife crime. Violence, Terrorism, Cutbacks everywhere, yet prices going up daily. The Police, Hospitals, Social services, Our Armed forces, Education, Libraries, Swimming Pools, The Welfare Service, Shopping precincts and markets all but shutting down. Banks everywhere closing, Ulez, Food price hikes, and just about everything going up in price month after month. I could go on for page after page, but we all know what’s going on. And we endure. We tighten our belt and accept it.
Earth is now the land of despair. Surely, this has to be Hell? Hell on earth?
So what have we done to deserve our fate? I’ll be buggered if I know.
That’s how death and judgement work. You don’t remember when you died. It makes you more inclined to accept the new Hell.
My hope is I wasn’t killed on one of my motorcycles. If so, was my bike OK? (that would be a bikers first question) Or was it a more genteel passing, say shot in bed by a jealous husband, aged 97. (that’s me aged 97, not the husband)
Who knows? Like I say, it’s a 2 cup of tea concept. Don’t dismiss it out of hand.
Welcome to the new Hell. The waters lovely (but about to go up in price by 30%)