15/11/2023
RECLAIMING AUTHENTICITY & TRUTH - WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
In my mind, being authentic means:
learning to find our own truth,
holding to our truth and,
negotiating with others what is true and important to us.
Authenticity is linked to self-respect, respect for others, knowing and honouring our deepest values, being aware of and accepting our strengths and limitations.
E.E. Cummings, the American poet, wrote:
‘It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.’
What did E.E. Cummings mean by this?
Authenticity and vulnerability go together. They are often companions.
It takes courage to be vulnerable.
Standing up for our own values, especially if they don’t fit with the views and opinions of others – maybe family, friends, or colleagues - can evoke uncomfortable and raw feelings.
There is a risk when speaking openly and truthfully that we might be misunderstood, disapproved of, rejected, or judged.
Therefore, it takes courage to say, for example:
'I’m sorry, I am unable to help on this occasion.’
‘I am sorry, but my perception of this matter is very different to yours.’
It can feel a bit like being naked when everyone else is fully dressed.
Being true to our inner values requires us to withstand the discomfort of the imagined or real disapproval, conflict, and maybe rejection.
What I found most helpful and vital in this process is to cultivate self-respect and self-acceptance.
'Being authentic demands accepting and valueing ourselves, even if others don’t.'
I believe that being true to ourselves, our values, our boundaries – is the key to living a satisfying and meaningful life.
Let's face it, what is the alternative?
The alternative is wearing a mask, hiding and concealing who we really are.
Trying to fit in, as we know from our own experience, doesn’t really work.
It doesn’t feel good to bend and twist ourselves to fit in.
Fitting in at the cost of our authenticity causes resentment, frustration and maintains a sense of powerlessness and smallness. This way of being, goes hand in hand with emotional difficulties.
“When we flee our vulnerability, we lose our full capacity for feeling emotion and with that we sacrifice the fullness and richness of our experience".
“We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world.”
Gabor Maté
On my own journey of reclaiming my authentic self-expression and accompanying my clients on their path, I deeply understood that we need to open our hearts and evolve our minds along the way.
This supports the process of dismantling the psychological obstacles that are in the way of living an authentic, purposeful and fullfilling life.
I Invite you to Reflect on these Questions:
What are your fears about speaking your truths?
Where do these fears inhibitions come from?
Are they still valid?
Kirsten
