Wendy McCallum The Anti-stress Angel

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Wendy McCallum The Anti-stress Angel

I mentor Mums of autistic kids so they and their families thrive not just survive. If you would like to know more, please get in touch.

I support Adults of Neurodivergent (ND) Children to prioritise their self-care so that they can give support from a plentiful, not resentful place, advocate for their children to get the support they need, want and deserve from educational/leisure settings and to have more harmonious relationships with family, friends, supporters and providers. As a solo parent of two growing boys, who are Neurodivergent (ND), this is my life’s work. I know how lonely and hard it can be navigating diagnosis and support for our ND children I know how easy it is to put our children’s needs first leading to us feeling worn out and resentful. I know how tricky it can be to manage relationships with family, friends and professionals who just don’t get it. I know the importance of putting in place all the elements that help me to flourish and I love supporting others to feel the same.

24/02/2026

You may not know what ripples you have created, but maybe you could share the positive ripples that have been created by others by letting them know?

I sometimes hear people say that they individually can't make a difference in the world. I've occasionally said it myself, but it's just not true!

We never know the ripples that we create, and sometimes we may never know. I was at Salsa last night. One of the Team (teachers) attended my Aromatherapy adult education course 22 years ago. When I arrived, she told me that another participant on that course was at Salsa! I hadn't seen this lady since the course, but when I spoke to her, she told me that she still uses her essential oils because of that course. She now creates perfumes for herself and her friends 💞

It was heart-warming to hear that something I had shared with her had continued to provide her with support and joy 💕

11/02/2026

I am judged because Connor and Mitch don't do many chores, and "should" be helping me around the house, especially because I'm a solo parent. Apparently, I'm not preparing them for the adult world! Don't get me wrong, sometimes it would be great to have more help and there are life skills that they need to learn, but that has to be balanced against their needs.

I make conscious choices about this every day. The first consideration is that they will be adults/grown-ups for a long time (hopefully) and children for a fairly short time, so I don't want them to spend their childhoods doing chores that they'll be spending a long time doing for the rest of their lives!

Secondly, the boys don't have the same emotional or practical capacity every day. It varies depending on the environmental load that day (noise, bright lights, crowds, temperatures etc), what that day has held (exams, assessments, performances etc) and what is going on in their emotional world (heartbreak, grief, disappointment, excitement).

So, some days they will help and some days they won't. What's important is that I choose what I feel is right based on what I know and what I can see and feel, and they know that when they've got more capacity, they are expected to do more.

Does that make sense?

If you struggle to get other people to understand that your autistic child may need a different approach, please DM me to arrange a Compatibility Call to see if we would like to work together.

09/02/2026

This weekend, Connor didn't want/need me, and although I had to take a breath for a moment, I was delighted 💕

Connor and I attended a Stand-up Comedy Course this weekend. Stand-up is one of his dreams, and he absolutely loved it. We had to walk around the block to learn our set, partnering with one of the other participants. I was there to support Connor (the course leader hasn't had a lot of experience with autistic young adults) and helped him a little, but for this, he wanted to be partnered with someone else.

It felt a bit like when your child is at nursery, and you don't want them clinging to your leg, not wanting to go in, but equally, there's a pang in your heart when they run in without so much as a backward glance! I took a breath and then helped him to partner up with someone who I knew would be great with him. A big thank you to Roy!

Connor's set was brilliant! He was confident, clear, very funny, used great body language to help get his jokes to land, had great timing and great energy. I was so proud, but even more proud of his independence. I knew he could perform and perform well, but witnessing him being able to ask for what he wanted and be more independent was the real success of the weekend for me.

04/02/2026

There are a lot of posts at the moment about the proposal to ban mobile phones for students in school. There are many good reasons for doing that, however, there are some downfalls of a blanket approach.

Neurodivergent or anxious kids may need to contact a parent if they are dysregulated. They may rely on their phones as they may become non-verbal and not be able to explain what’s going on to a teacher, but could text home and get support.

When my older, autistic son was in Year 7, his school still allowed phones. By mistake, he got locked in the PE office. He didn’t know how to use the phone to contact reception (because he had never been taught how to do that), but he was able to phone me using his mobile, and I contacted the school to rescue him! He would have had to wait until the end of the next double lesson for a member of staff to unlock the door, and by that stage would have been incredibly distressed if he hadn’t had his mobile.

My younger son (at the same school, but there has since been a change of policy) isn't allowed his mobile to be seen in school, but they don't have the facility to store them. This means that he won't take his phone to school in case it's confiscated. This makes it difficult if I'm running late for the school run, as I can’t let him know. It also affects students who take the bus to school, as the buses don’t always arrive on time.

I can see there is the potential for some benefit for schools and students, but a more even approach would be helpful to the whole community.

03/02/2026

The support and advice that I give to clients isn't one-size-fits-all (it's specifically tailored for each family), and it's not just for today, it's for the future too. I was delighted to receive this email from a client showing that she has carried forward the ideas from last year, and it helped make Christmas smooth for her and her family.

What support or advice do you still use today, that you've known about for a while?

02/02/2026

Nicci Trounson is running an online session on Thursday 19th March, to help neurodivergent learners with mindfulness and self-regulation. It looks really interesting and valuable. Tickets are available on Eventbrite. You can find the link in the comments

22/01/2026

If you've got a meeting with your child's nursery, school, college or university there are a few steps that can help make it more productive and less stressful and I thought you might appreciate a reminder.

1. Prepare - what do you want to achieve from the meeting? Write down a list and prioritise it. You may not have time to cover everything, so which are the most important or will have the biggest positive impact for your child. If you find the meetings stressful take someone with you to support you and make notes for you.

2. Do your best to stay calm. Imagine you're a tree and have healthy roots grounding you. Take deep breaths to regulate yourself and give yourself time to respond to any questions. When you ask questions, give the other person time to respond. Be clear with what you are asking for and with your responses. If you expect action, be clear on what that is so there is no doubt, and agree on a timeframe for the action to be taken by.

3. Make notes or record the meeting on your phone (with permission from the attendees) or have a friend make notes for you. It can be difficult to remember everything after the meeting. Follow up the meeting with an email to summarise the points. This means there is documented evidence of the discussion and it's much easier to make sure actions are taken!

4. Be accountable. If you've said you will do something, do it. Hold others accountable. If you have been told that an action will be taken or some more information will be provided to you, follow it up and make sure it happens.

It can be easy to go into a negative spiral with education settings if you've felt let down before. I know how frustrating it can be. The better prepared you are and the better you follow-up the better the potential outcome. Good luck!

21/01/2026

What are you grateful for/happy about today?

I'm delighted to have fresh daffodils in the house, the first of the season.

I'm amazed that I'm now in the top 500 on Amazon Alexa's Voice of the Day. When I started a year and a half ago, I was 12,000 and something!

I've helped Mitch to prepare his time plan for his upcoming 3-hour food practical, and it's looking pretty awesome!

I'm grateful to the lovely people who have suggested great songs for my new playlist - thank you all.

I felt a need to consciously think about these things today to remember that the world isn't all grey, it just seems a bit like it.

What about you?

15/01/2026

I'm putting together a new playlist to get me through these dark, dreich days. Please let me have your suggestions for uplifting tracks to add. Thank you 🎵💕

13/01/2026

I'm still taking it relatively easy recovering from Bronchitis, but I'm here to answer questions and would be delighted to have the distraction! If you've got any questions relating to life with an autistic child (diagnosed or otherwise) or about health and wellbeing for women, please comment below or drop me a DM. Thank you. Normal service will resume soon!

08/01/2026

What's bringing you joy today? Please share, I'd love to know.

I've been quiet on here recently. I chose to take time off over the Christmas holidays, and since then I've been dealing with a bout of bronchitis 🙄 I'm being gentle with myself, so today I chose to mend some Christmas decorations!

When I packed up all the Christmas "stuff", I noticed that a few baubles had lost their strings and some wreaths had lost some baubles or pine cones, so I set them to one side because I knew that if I didn't repair them soon, they would go back into the shed and then I wouldn't remember until I was taking them out next Christmas. I'm delighted to have achieved something that will make me smile when I'm putting up the decorations later this year!

22/12/2025

The change in routine over the Christmas period can be stressful for everyone, but especially for autistic children.

Signpost what is going to happen and when, to help ease their anxiousness. How you do this will depend on the age of the child.

For young children, a visual "timetable" with pictures will be helpful, and perhaps just focus on what is happening next verbally.

For older children and teenagers, you know what they can handle, so adjust your approach accordingly. Some will want it written down, some will want a verbal run-through, and some just want to know what the next thing is.

Address

Street Lane
Ardingly
RH17 6UB

Website

http://www.wendymccallum.co.uk/

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