Wendy McCallum The Anti-stress Angel

08/10/2025

Does this strategy help you?

One of the strategies I use with my clients (and myself) is to approach life by hoping for the best to keep up positivity, enthusiasm and "good vibes".

And to prepare for the worst. If the best doesn't happen, we've already got a strategy in place, so we won't need to wallow or panic for long!

If you're not on my mailing list and would like to see how I operate this in real life, please click the link in the comments to read my latest newsletter.

07/10/2025

Today, I'm grateful for balm tissues, my essential oil collection and hot toddies as I "deal" with a horrible cold! What are you grateful for today?

03/10/2025

Life can be busy and overwhelming (with or without autistic kids). Give yourself a break and deal with one thing at a time. What helps to reduce overwhelm for you?

02/10/2025

I was asked what my vision is, which prompted some head-scratching from me to articulate my passion, how I feel and what I want to help to achieve in the world. I know this won't all happen in my lifetime, but I hope that I'll continue to play my part in making it happen, step by step and, hopefully, leap by leap. When you read it, how does it sound? How do you feel?

I feel super-excited and energised 💕

Picture Description: The words "Imagine a world where all the Mums of autistic kids feel well-supported, prioritise their self-care and confidently advocate for their child as they navigate their journey to success. A world where these kids know that their differences are superpowers, that they will be treated fairly and inclusively and are confident of making their own mark on the world in their own special way. That is the world I dream of and I'm playing my part in creating it. How does that sound?" with spring flowers underneath.

01/10/2025

I have been given lots of advice over the years and it's hard to pinpoint just one piece to share with you, but today it's "Remember, not everyone knows what you know."

I have moments when I have a wobble about my business and what I offer and my lovely coach Jennie HK reminds me that the Mums that I mentor/I'd like to mentor/would like me to mentor them don't all have the knowledge and experience that I have, thank you Jennie ❤ When I hear a Mum say "So you're saying that he/she can't help that behaviour?" it reminds me too.

What's the best advice you've been given? It can be personal, business, parenting or whatever you like. Please share so that we can all benefit too. Thank you 🙏💕

30/09/2025

Who does my mentoring work for?

It works for Mums of Autistic kids (diagnosed or not) who:
-Want to be supported navigating life with an autistic child?
-Will value learning some simple steps to make day-to-day life easier
-Want the reassurance of knowing that they're making the right choices for their child
-Want to advocate for their child to get the support they need, want and deserve from their educational setting?
-Need help to balance the needs of their family with their own wellbeing?

It doesn't work for people who:
-Don't want this mentoring and support
-Won't listen to what I suggest
-Don't really want anything to change
-Just want to moan about how hard life is, without taking action to change it

If you're in the first category, please send me a DM to see if we'd like to work together.

29/09/2025

Many of the Mums I work with feel that they’re not doing a good enough job as a parent. I feel that myself sometimes. One of the problems is that kids don’t come with a user manual, and neurodivergent kids even less so!

I’m sure most of us will have “got it wrong” at some point. I can remember with dread and shame, almost forcing Connor to eat when he was weaning as a baby. I didn’t know then that he’s autistic and just didn’t like the look of the suspicious-looking “goop” I was serving him – mushed up vegetables etc. He was much better when I gave him finger foods. He still eats a very limited diet, but he seems healthy on it so I go with the flow.

I’d just like to remind you that you are always doing your best, often under difficult circumstances, but if you learn that there is a better way then please try that instead.

If you’d like help working out some better ways to support you and your family, please book a FREE 30-minute Discovery Call (link is in the comments) so that I can find out what’s going on for you, explain how I work and then we can see if we’d like to work together.

Image description: The picture has a blue background with white writing saying "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better" Maya Angelou.

25/09/2025

One of the challenges that has come up in my work with parents of autistic kids, is managing a meltdown in public when you're concerned about what other people think of you or that they're judging you.

The first thing to remember is that the vast majority of people witnessing the meltdown will be grateful that it's not their child and will feel empathy for you!

Secondly, the "tutting brigade" do not live your life and don't know what goes on in it, so their opinion doesn't matter! You know the saying, "The people who matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter", comes into play here.

Having a visual sign that your child is autistic/has additional needs can be helpful if you (and they) are comfortable with that. The sunflower lanyard is a recognisable sign that someone may need extra help, and they do a badge if that is a better option for your child.

There are also wallet-sized cards that you can hand out that can make people aware that your child is autistic, if that would be helpful. The National Autistic Society have one you can print off at home. Please look at their website for details.

Please deal with the meltdown in whichever way works for you and your child. Some need to be held, some need reassuring words, some need sensory stimuli to be reduced, and some just need you to stay as calm and in control as possible (I know from experience this is really hard and that deep breaths and remembering that "this too shall pass" can really help).

If you've got any tips that could help other parents, please share them. It could make all the difference to another family. Thank you.

Please DM or email me to discuss how we might work together to support you and your autistic child to thrive in life, not just survive.

24/09/2025

I've been mulling over commenting on Donald Trump's remarks about Paracetamol/Tylenol and Autism. However, Autistic SENCO has done this beautifully, so I'm sharing her post instead because I don't think you want to read me swearing!

Trump.

Goodness me, I’m not even sure where to start.

According to Donald Trump, I exist in the way I do because my mother took paracetamol.

And my children? They exist in the way they do because I took paracetamol.

Except I didn’t with some pregnancies, and maybe did with others. Which means, on the most basic level, his theory doesn’t even make sense in my own family.

So what would his next line be?

“Ah yes, you were broken anyway by your mother, so you were always going to pass on your faulty genes irrespective of the paracetamol you may or may not have taken.”

And that’s really the crux of it, isn’t it?

That people like Trump view me and my children as broken.

Something to be eradicated.

Something to wish away.

Something to ensure never happens again.

It’s crushing to sit with the idea that, in the eyes of someone with such power and influence, my existence is so undesirable that I shouldn’t be here at all. That my children’s existence is so undesirable that they shouldn’t be here at all.

And then there’s the misogyny laced through it all. Of course it would be women blamed for autism — for not being able to tolerate pain without reaching for paracetamol. It’s never about men, their s***m, their genetics. Always the woman’s fault.

This isn’t new, either. It echoes Leo Kanner’s “refrigerator mother” theory — where autism was once blamed on cold, unloving mothers. We’ve been here before. Mothers pointed at. Women shamed. Families ignored.

And yet, there’s something even more dangerous underneath all this: the unspoken belief that autism is something so terrible, so offensive, so broken, that it must be prevented at all costs.

But I ask what I always ask:

What is actually wrong with being different?

Why is being autistic so offensive to some people?

I am not broken.

My children are not broken.

We are not a mistake to be avoided — we are exactly as we should be.

The real problem isn’t autism.

It’s the hatred, ignorance, and prejudice of those who cannot see the value in difference.

Emma
The Autistic SENCo
♾️

Photo: My gorgeous neurodivergents during a visit to the Natural History Museum.

23/09/2025

How/would you categorise autistic needs?

I've just read an article that purports to say that Autism can be broken down into 4 Groups (see the end of the post if you'd like to see the groups), and I'll be honest and say I felt angry and frustrated reading it.

Firstly, they referred to autism as "Autism Spectrum Disorder" - no,
it's not a disorder, it's a neurotype!

Secondly, it just feels more like trying to jam square pegs into round holes. I appreciate that they are focusing on needs, but the Groups don't allow for the wide variety of skills and challenges of each autistic person.

I love that my work means that I can work with Mums so that I understand what works and doesn't work for their autistic child and can suggest how to best support them and help the family to thrive. Groups and categories don't allow for this personalised approach.

On any given day, Connor could potentially fit into any of those groups, but it doesn't explain that he can speak and write well, doesn't always get social cues and isn't always able to have a conversation unless it's a topic he loves or he's prompted/signposted, is incredibly funny and gets overwhelmed easily.

Group 1: Social & behavioural challenges
Group 2: Moderate challenges
Group 3: Mixed AS with developmental delay
Group 4: Broadly affected)

22/09/2025

Sometimes life is just too much and it's important to be kind to ourselves and ask for help (if we can). I was talking to a friend who is a Mum with an autistic son who isn't always in school, she runs her own business, is neurodivergent herself and her Mum has recently had a major operation and needs looking after. Understandably, it's all getting a bit much for my friend. So, next week I'm helping her with some of her social media so that it's one less thing for her to worry about. She gave me the biggest hug, and with tears in her eyes said, "Thank you for understanding and for helping."

I had tears in my eyes too, as I sensed her relief. This is part of why I do what I do, Mentoring Mums of Autistic Kids. No, I'm not offering to help my clients with their social media! but I'm here to help reduce the overwhelm, be empathetic and help them out of a hole before they sink any further.

If this resonates, and you'd like to learn more about how I can support you, please send me a DM.

19/09/2025

Getting kids to stay asleep can be challenging, especially if they're autistic so here are a few ideas to try:

Put a t-shirt or something else you've worn (it could be a scarf or similar) and put it near your child's pillow so that they can "smell you" when they are sleeping. This will be reassuring for them and may help them to sleep for longer.

Have a photo of you next to the bed, either on a bedside table or on the wall if they're in a top bunk bed. This means if they open their eyes they have the reassurance of seeing you and they may drift back off without needing your physical presence.

White Chestnut Bach flower remedy is great for switching off unwanted thoughts. They don't need to be horrible thoughts, they can just be coming at the wrong time, like when your head is buzzing at 3 am. The remedy can be given under the tongue or in a drink, so you can "smuggle" it into their drink if you think they'll resist taking it.

If they've got a phone or you've got an old one lying around, you could try recording yourself saying the calming words you would use if they wake up in the night that they could play to help themselves go back to sleep. You could also record yourself singing a gentle song.

If you've got any other ideas, please share them so I can pass them on to help other people. Thank you and good luck!