Tough Titty

28/04/2023

I may be nearly 2 years out from active treatment, but this book couldn't have arrived at a better time. Just when life starts to feel 'normal' again, out of nowhere the fear of recurrence rears its ugly head. The aches get more pronounced. The mood hits the floor. You want to opt out of life for a few days, until you are ready to face it again. Tiny little life events trigger these monumental mood shifts. Any kind of stress seems to wipe me out - I used to thrive on it. Oh how life is different now. So, the book, a coffee, and with my dogs and the singing birds in my garden for company, I'm going to read every page to hopefully understand why this keeps happening to me - and what coping mechanisms I can employ to stop them! ###

20/03/2023

Two years ago. It feels like a lot longer. Two years ago I ended up in hospital for 10 days with sepsis; my PICC line was infected, my temperature blew its top, and my kidneys began to fail. My veins collapsed, even the ones in my feet. It was a miserable experience - especially the trans-oesophogeal echocardiogram (camera down throat) without any sedation due to lack of viable veins. And all this took place over the Easter weekend, when everyone was celebrating with family and friends. The delivery of the basket of goodies from friends was the kick I needed to fight on - as I was struggling at that point. The messages in the card, the treats, magazines, books - gave me something to focus on between endless infusions of antibiotics. It was a time in my life that I NEVER want to repeat.
But here I am, two years on, and I'm slowly learning how to live again. I dare to dream about a future with my family and friends. I still have some hurdles to overcome - anastrozole seems determined to take my mobility away as my ligaments are weak - but I'm working on it! My mental health is a struggle at times, and life is different now to how it was before. It's more precious than it was before. And it's important to find something positive in every day. The fear of recurrance is never far from my mind, but you somehow learn to ignore it most of the time.
I have big plans for my life, and I hope and pray that cancer has decided not to bother with me anymore.
To everyone who was there for me throughout my ordeal, THANK YOU. You have no idea how important you are🪻🌷🌻🥰♥️

06/12/2022

😊 I've not been officially told yet, but 3 weeks ago I had my 2nd year post-cancer mammogram, and today an OPTIMA trial research nurse (who phoned for a totally different reason) told me that ...

25/11/2022

The curse of aromatase inhibitors. The lack of oestrogen is causing nothing but problems with my joints and ligaments. A teeny tiny 'nearly slip' getting out of the shower led to 2 weeks in a wheelchair, one week on crutches, and now this contraption. An MRI revealed a badly ruptured meniscus and mild arthritis. BC is the gift that keeps on giving, even 18 months after active treatment ended 😔😔

13/10/2022

Same feet, different waiting room. Different hospital. Different reason. Scanxiety is through the roof ... I/they think I have lymphodema in dodgy b**b. I'm just paranoid that they'll discover something sinister lurking too. Oh for this to be over with ... 😬

13/10/2022

Waiting room feet 😔 First of 2 appointments today : this one is with a musculoskeletal consultant to chat about my aches and pains. Wondering what miracles he can perform?

24/05/2022

It was quite a while ago now, for which I apologise ... but back in the summer (last year!) I joined a virtual skincare and make-up workshop with Look Good Feel Better, and it was really, really good. Got lots of great advice, met lots of lovely people (albeit virtually) , and it gave me a real confidence boostx Look Good Feel Better

https://toughtitty.co.uk/feelings/look-good-feel-better-skincare-and-make-up-virtual-workshop/

I booked on to a virtual Look Good Feel Better Skincare and Make Up Workshop. It was a lot of fun and gave me a real confidence boost

13/03/2022

I've not been feeling great lately 😔 It seems that exemestane is as bad as anastrozole in terms of aches and pains - for the last 10 days I've been crippled with aching joints, tight muscles and a stitch/pulled muscle in my side that hurts whenever I move. As a consequence I've been feing very sorry for myself.
For months now I've been cutting back on sugar, refined carbs, dairy and fat ... because this is healthy ... yet for all this I'm still miserable.
So today, knowing I had a couple of mangos that needed using up, I decided to bake a cake. A mango, coconut and lime cake, full of all those things I've cut back on. Today I don't care - I find baking therapeutic, and I can't wait to try a slice later on 😄 Tomorrow I'll be back to watching my diet - I'm having a day off being good, and I'm loving being such a rebel!

04/02/2022

World Cancer Day 2022

A day to remember those we've lost.
A day to acknowledge what we've been through.
A day to be thankful for the love and support we've received.
A day to pray that those cures aren't too far away.
A day to embrace life.

To all the warriors and survivors of this dreadful disease, I send you all a massive virtual hug today ###

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZUObmVkJfg

The song “PINK” was recorded by Dolly Parton, Monica, Jordin Sparks, Rita Wilson and Sara Evans as an anthem for the breast cancer community in support of Su...

12/01/2022

So last night I went for my booster Covid vaccine (my 4th jab as I was having chemo during the first two). All was fine until this morning - I couldn't stop shivering, as I was so cold. Hot water bottles didn't help, so I had a hot bath, followed by some paracetamol and bed. About an hour ago I threw the hot water bottles out the bed, because I was overheating (my eyelids were sweating?!) I keep checking my temp as these are very 'sepsis-like' symptoms, and I don't want that again ... but it's ok and just a common vaccine side effect. I'll be fine tomorrow, and ever-grateful that I'll have more protection against Covid. But never again will I brag about breezing through the vaccinations! 🤣

03/01/2022

** Finally, a new blog post! **

I managed anastrozole for 6 (long and painful) months ... As with all cancer treatments, it was a rollercoaster of physical and mental challenges. I honestly thought I had it under control - the pains and aches were annoying, but controllable. After 5 months my hands started to hurt - fingers stiffened, then locked, then hurt. I'm spending ££ on amazon buying gloves for arthritis, finger splints, and I'm even considering a TENS machine that I can use on my hands. I had a two-week break from anastrozole, and my general body aches improved immeasurably, but not my hands. And now I've started a new drug - exemestane - I hope this will be kinder. But one week in, and my hands still feel like they are slowing turning to wood.

And to think, I thought chemo was tough going ... this is an endurance challenge!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone ... let's hope it is a good and kind one for us all ###x

https://toughtitty.co.uk/treatment/anastrozole-my-6-month-diary/

I took anastrozole for 6 months before I screamed for help. My hands were (and still are) agony, so I took a break. And it was lovely!

28/12/2021

After 6months on Anastrozole, I could take no more. Every joint ached, from my jaw to my toes. Both hands developed trigger fingers and often 'stuck' (and still do). It was difficult to focus on the positives when you felt so run down. So I was told to take a break, to see if the symptoms improved. Apart from my hands, which are still causing issues, the other aches and stiffness subsided. I've been more mobile these last two weeks than in the months preceding them.
But all good things come to an end, and because my breast cancer was so strongly fuelled by oestrogen, I need to be on these darn tablets. So today I'm starting Aromasin (exemestane) ... if I could cross my stiff and achy fingers I would, as I want (need) these to be kinder to me.
Isn't it strange ... you go through surgery, chemo, radiotherapy, and in my case sepsis, only to be floored by a tiny tablet taken once a day. I'm hoping these tablets help keep cancer away, but give me a better quality of life for the remaining 6.5 years I need to take them.
Send positive thoughts - I've just taken tablet 1!

01/12/2021

My mammogram was CLEAR! Bone density scan shows strong and healthy bones - so, so far, all is good! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

15/11/2021

One year ago today I had my second lumpectomy. Since then I've had chemotherapy, radiotherapy and am now on awful hormone therapy. Today , in a few minutes, I have the first mammogram since the week before that second operation. Never before have I felt so sick and scared. This is when we find out if the hell of the last year has worked. Gulp ... here we go ...

10/09/2021

Two days ago was my 1-year 'Cancerversary' - one year since my diagnosis. If you have followed this page from the beginning you'll know about all the procedures and treatments I've had, but this post is about feelings. The emotional rollercoaster of a cancer diagnosis, and learning to process everything once active treatment ends. It's not just your body that needs to heal x

https://toughtitty.co.uk/feelings/one-year-cancerversary-looking-back-while-facing-forwards/

Few people talk about the emotional rollercoaster of a cancer ‘journey’. So, on my one year 'cancerversary', let's talk emotions ...

13/08/2021

What a difference a year makes … Today, 12 months ago, I drove to our local mobile scanning wagon to experience my first ever routine mammogram. Never in a million years did I think they would find anything wrong. Well, the rest, as they say, is history …

https://toughtitty.co.uk/treatment/so-i-had-my-first-ever-mammogram/

Out of the blue I was invited for a mammogram as part of a pre-50s early-screening trial. It was a whole new experience, that's for sure!

01/08/2021

I have completed my first month of hormone therapy, taking anastrozole (with zoladex injections) that will hopefully help stop any oestrogen-fuelled breast cancer recurrence. These 'magic pills' aren't plain sailing, as they force your body into a chemical menopause - with all the side effects that goes with that. Here's how the first month has gone ...

https://toughtitty.co.uk/treatment/breast-cancer-preventative-treatment-anastrozole-month-1/

Having finished active treatment, I've now started hormone therapy (anastrozole) that, if I tolerate it, I'll be taking for at least 5 years

08/07/2021

Today I’m meeting up with my oncologist to discuss, among other things, which hormone therapy I’ll be starting in the next few days. Here comes the menopause. Can’t wait 😭😭😭