18/01/2023
So well written ❤️
What if I asked you?
You, The Adult.
To hold down a job where you are expected to take regular testing to ensure you're up for the job. Where your anxiety and fear breeds from the very thought of going there, so much so, you're vomiting, screaming and begging. Where you actually dont know whats expected of you or how to do that job but you must still go.
What if I asked you to go, even though you spent most of your days there alone, afraid, confused, distressed, panicked. You just know its not the job for you. But everyone is intent on making you the job for it.
What if I asked you to move past your panic attack and go there every single day even when you tell me your mental health is slipping away from you.
If I asked you to just try harder to mix with your colleagues, even though they've been freezing you out for 4 years and the cold just wont thaw.
Can I ask you, that when you cry, to explain to me why you are crying. Can I ask you to repeat that because it makes no sense to me.
And can I ask you, when it still makes no sense to me, and you're getting angry because I dont get it, that you go to a room alone. And think about how you've got angry.
What if I asked you, The Adult, that despite the way your boss talks to you with a patronising, dismissive attitude, you must still respect them, listen to them and be guided by them.
What if every attempt you had made to fit into that job, didnt work out because the colleagues, the boss, the work and the hours had exhausted every corner of your spirit. And what if I told you, you didnt try enough. And then I asked you to sit in front of a psychiatrist to be diagnosed with a mental disorder because you just wont go to work.
What if your next attempt to try at that job caused you so much distress, that you became suidicial.
And Still
The psychiatrist
The boss
The others
All convinced you that its because you need to work through your resistance to go to work.
I think I'd never ask that of you, though.
