25/02/2026
Two years ago today, I said goodbye to my pug, Loki 💜
In remembrance, I asked a professional pet grief counsellor some of the questions many of us carry quietly.
If you work with pets, or love one deeply, this is for you 💜
1. How do I handle people who say, "It’s just a dog/cat" or "It's been a year, shouldn’t you be over it?"
A: Unfortunately there are always going to be those people that say things like “it’s only a dog/cat” or “it’s been a year shouldn’t you be over it” I like to think people saying these tactless comments don’t realise how deeply there comments hurt. People tend to say these things on the days we are feeling at our worst. My advice that I give my clients is to do your best not to let these comments pe*****te. Keep in your head the words “That is that persons view it isn’t going to affect me” Some people will never understand pet loss and what our beloved pets mean to us, just brush the comments off, don’t let them even enter your personal space-swat them away.
2. How do I stop the "what if" loop about the medical decisions I made?
A: The “what if” loop is one of the hardest form of self torture to break, especially when it comes to decisions we made for our beloved pets best interests (such as choosing a peaceful passing) I know as I have been in this self torturing loop. Our brain is a complex thing and it will keep these thoughts going on a 24/7 loop ifyou let it. The key is to break the loop, physically shout “No!” When the thoughts come, repeat over and over (even write the words on a post it and stick it on your wall) the words “every decision I ever made was out of love” Your pet will always know this as it’s true.
3. What do I do with their old toys, bed, and lead if I’m not ready to let go?
A: There are no set times/rules when it comes to letting go of your pets belongings. It is is very individual thing. Some people want to put there pets belongings in a keep sake box, others want them not to be touched and left as they were. Others can’t cope with them being in the house at all. My advice is do whatever brings you comfort. If you want to sleep with your pets blanket next to you do it, if you want to carry your dogs lead with you in your bag do it, if you want to give your pets belongings to a pet charity do it, there are no rules, it’s whatever makes you feel comfort.
4. What are some healthy rituals to honour a pet on their anniversary?
A: This again is a very individual thing. What brings one person comfort can make another person cringe with dread. Inthe road to healing from pet loss we may try things such as on our pets anniversary/birthday letting off balloons in a garden or making a scrapbook of photos or we might go and visit one of there favourite places they liked to walk, or we might just want to stay at home cuddling our pets favourite toy. Again if it brings you comfort then that is your individual ritual.
5. What would you like people to know about pet loss as a professional grief councilor?
A: Pet loss is in my opinion one of the hardest losses we will go through. Our pet is our friend/child/partner all in one. Please don’t put any self pressure to heal in a certain time frame or feel that you have to go through the stages of grief in a set order, there is No set time and no order, just take each day very very slowly. Some days you will take a step forward, the next day two steps back, it is a very bumpy road. The road may look and feel so long but you will get there it will just take time. What is very important as well is with each slow step you take do it with self kindness.
A big thank you to for the information and sharing her experience. Share this with someone who may need support. 💜
