27/04/2026
When things start going missing with dementia, it’s usually not really missing.
It’s moved.
Put somewhere that made complete sense in that moment.
The purse in the airing cupboard.
The remote in the washing basket.
The keys in a coat pocket nobody has worn since Tuesday.
And then everyone is looking everywhere and getting more and more stressed.
I see this a lot with families.
A daughter says “Mum keeps losing everything.”
Or “Dad thinks someone is taking things.”
And underneath that sentence is usually exhaustion.
Because it’s not just the lost purse.
It’s the searching.
The accusation.
The worry.
The same conversation again.
The feeling that something has shifted and nobody quite knows what to do with it.
Dementia can affect memory, attention and the brain’s ability to retrace steps.
So instead of saying,
“Where did you put it?”
Try,
“Let’s have a little look together.”
It sounds tiny.
It isn’t.
It keeps dignity in the room.
And sometimes that’s the bit families are trying so hard to protect.
If you’re starting to think about home care for a parent, message me. I’m always happy to help families think clearly before things reach crisis point.
Kimberley Stevens
Founder, Care in Kent
Helping families across Ashford, Folkestone and Hythe navigate home care for ageing parents
If this helped you, send it to someone who’s quietly holding it all together right now.
