Grief and Living After Loss

Grief and Living After Loss Empowering people to heal in their grief, reconnect to their self & build strong emotional wellbeing

The 5 stages of grief have unfortunately caused a lot of confusion and extra pain over the years as they have been misun...
20/07/2025

The 5 stages of grief have unfortunately caused a lot of confusion and extra pain over the years as they have been misunderstood.

They are not 5 stages you go through in order, you haven't failed in grief because you go back and forth between the stages or miss a stage. They were meant to be guide line not a way to do grief.

I remember going to the Dr's and they spoke about the stages of grief to me and made me feel like I was doing my grief wrong because I wasn't following the 5 stages of grief as they had been written. I remember coming out of my appointment thinking "I can't even do grief right!" It haunted me for ages and became another stress on top of being a new mum and widow. Not what I needed.

Thankfully people are understanding grief more and more and realising that there is no one way to "do" grief.

I love talking about my loved ones who have died. I find what can make it tricky is when other people don't realise that...
19/07/2025

I love talking about my loved ones who have died.
I find what can make it tricky is when other people don't realise that. People have said they don't want to upset me by bringing them up or they weren't sure if it was the right thing to do. I understand it is different for everyone but ask if you aren't sure or follow the grievers lead. If they talk about their loved ones, ask questions, don't shy away from the conversation.
Talking about a loved one who has died more often than not, builds connection, is a conversation about love, comforts the griever as they know they aren't alone in remembering. And I guarantee, you will not upset the person grieving more than they already have been. It is ok if they shed a tear or lots, it is love and pain and joy and heartache and it all has a place in this world, we just have to be brave enough to hold that space for others. Even if you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed or if the griever asks not to talk about them, nothing bad will happen if you talk about someone who has died, it shows you care and you remember.

In early grief I would have struggled with the idea of my pain becoming my greatest ally. But I learnt over time that th...
18/07/2025

In early grief I would have struggled with the idea of my pain becoming my greatest ally.
But I learnt over time that the strength, resilience and growth that came from working on myself, my life and on my grief, created another part to my story that I am so grateful for. I grew in ways I never imagined and I experienced and made things happen I wouldn't have expected.

By accepting my life as it was I could find ways to honour my loved ones that have died AND live my life. My membership is for people who are ready to do just this. People who are ready to look forward and create a life they can be proud of with joy and love despite your loss and still honour and care for their grief, finding balance, meaning and purpose from the darkness.

Membership link below, message me for details:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/345256961778220/

In early grief I hated hearing this phrase. It made me feel angry, hurt, misunderstood, alone in my pain.11 years in I g...
17/07/2025

In early grief I hated hearing this phrase.
It made me feel angry, hurt, misunderstood, alone in my pain.

11 years in I get what people mean by it, I still would use it and feel it isn't true for grief.

Grief works differently to many wounds, we can't cover over it with a plaster and wait for it to heal.

We have to move through it, feel it, give it space, take action to grow our world around it and learn to live with it.

How beautiful is this quote by William Shakespeare"To weep is to make less the depth of grief"Crying is not a weakness o...
16/07/2025

How beautiful is this quote by William Shakespeare

"To weep is to make less the depth of grief"

Crying is not a weakness or something we should be ashamed of doing in front of others. It is a human tool to help us through the painful journey of loss.

Understanding and exploring your grief is helpful in the healing process. How would you define your grief?
15/07/2025

Understanding and exploring your grief is helpful in the healing process.
How would you define your grief?

In my membership I show you how to use mindfulness to support yourself in your grief. I have recorded videos and live wo...
15/07/2025

In my membership I show you how to use mindfulness to support yourself in your grief. I have recorded videos and live workshops for you to join or work at your own pace and find what works for you.

Being present in your body is essential for working through grief, pain and trauma and feeling safe.

Membership link below, message me to join:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/345256961778220/

Different support systems:Therapist/ coach/ counsellor/ psychotherapistFriends and family,Bereavement group, (face to fa...
11/07/2025

Different support systems:

Therapist/ coach/ counsellor/ psychotherapist
Friends and family,
Bereavement group, (face to face or online)
Mind/ Cruse Bereavement/ Samaritans/ Winston’s Wish/ Child Bereavement UK…
Peer support
Books,
Online information,
Courses,
Meditation,
Yoga,
Mindfulness,
Somatic therapy,
Dance,
Music,
Walking groups,
Social groups of any kind,
Grief cafe’s,
Pet therapy,
Creative groups,
Retreats,
Faith based groups,
Hospices and palliative care services

Are there any other support systems you have tried that may be useful for others to know they even exists and how they could help others?

It is easy and natural to think nothing is good anymore and nothing positive will or can ever happen when your have expe...
10/07/2025

It is easy and natural to think nothing is good anymore and nothing positive will or can ever happen when your have experienced a bereavement or a life loss, BUT, the reality is things have changed, for some of you everything has changed, and there will be positive changes as well as the negative ones at some point. If this feels a lot and you disagree, that is ok, move on from this post until your are ready.

There is also a difference between your loss and life after your loss. Sometimes recognising this helps us to find the positives in our life moving forward rather than feeling guilt for positives because we attach them to the death of someone. The death is one thing, your life and moving forward and finding positives in that change can be separate. Shout if this doesn’t make sense and I will do a short video as this is an important concept to helping you navigate grief and loss.

Some positives my clients and I have experienced after loss:

Making more time for self care,
Understanding and knowing ourselves better/more,
Making more time for friends and family,
Finding out who are real friends,
New connections with people,
Stronger connections with old friends,
Realising what really matter,
Being grateful for things that were taken for granted before experiencing loss,
More emotional resilience and strength,
Exercise more,
Be more creative,
Written a book,
Spend more time in nature….

What one positive change have you made in your life after loss? comment below 🧡

Gratitude can be a hard concept to think about in grief.But what one small thing can you find gratitude for? Some people...
09/07/2025

Gratitude can be a hard concept to think about in grief.

But what one small thing can you find gratitude for?

Some people like to use the word glimmer, and think about a tiny glimmer of hope or gratitude in their life sneaking through the darkness.

Have you thought about what healing looks like for you and how you know you are healing?For me this has changed over the...
08/07/2025

Have you thought about what healing looks like for you and how you know you are healing?

For me this has changed over the years. In the early days of grief it was about not feeling physical excruciating pain every day all day, as time went on it was about finding small moments of joy with out feeling guilty for living, and now over a decade on my healing is practicing my self care every day and making time for my grief and all the emotions and letting them come when they need to. it is about recognising my grief is a part of me that I have to nurture.
Healing is about being kind to my emotions, giving them space when they come up, recognising multiple losses and my own strength, resilience and how far I have come. Healing is about listening to my body, being self aware and showing myself loving kindness as much as possible, so I can keep being who I want to be, do what I want to do and show up in my life, my way. Healing is something I consciously do every day (nearly everyday! I am only human after all!!). Healing changes and adapts as I keep growing

When we can be open, curious and loving towards ourselves we create a safe space where we can heal and grow. If we don’t...
07/07/2025

When we can be open, curious and loving towards ourselves we create a safe space where we can heal and grow.
If we don’t do this we often become judgemental and rigid in our thinking, focusing on the negative, on what we haven’t done, what we could do better, where we think we should be. This thought pattern doesn’t help us to heal but creates barriers and road blocks for us to have to push against and make our pain and trauma never harder to bare. We are literally fighting against ourself.
Don’t create more pain for yourself, stop and open your heart and mind, be curious as to where you find yourself right now in the present moment and what you would like to feel different, then show yourself some love and kindness and start working towards how you want to feel. This could be achieved by having a bath, drinking more water, or maybe talking to a friend, getting some more sleep, reaching out to a therapist. What ever that first step is, recognise that one step is enough and give yourself some love in your grieving so you can take care of yourself.

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Ashford

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Tuesday 10am - 3pm
Wednesday 10am - 5pm
Thursday 10am - 3pm
Friday 10am - 3pm

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Get to know me

I am a widowed mother to my gorgeous boy Oliver and my two furbabies, Kester and Jax. Oliver has a rare life long kidney disease that I manage with food and medicine. It hasn’t been easy, but he has a ‘normal’ life with not too many disruptions. I have suffered with anxiety and depression since my husband died as well weight issues and stress. Anxiety and overwhelm were a continuous problem for me and something I had to manage for years and became a problem again when my father died in 2019.

I have learnt so much because of the tough times in my life and am grateful that I have been able to find the help I needed to manage my grief and change my life so I can have a fun filled life with lots of possibilities and opportunities, and to help others.

I run my Life and Grief Transformational Coaching Practise in Kent, but have clients from all over as I work online as well as face to face.

I support people to heal from the pain of grief. I run a programme to teach people the tools to recover from grief and focus on the memories instead. I then support my clients to figure out what is next and discover what they truly want in their life. Work out what is holding people back and use habit change and mindset to move people forward towards their wants and goals.