
15/08/2025
Growing a human for the first time at 39 years old 🌱
I've been reflecting on societal norms and messages around motherhood these past months. I'm now 33 weeks pregnant 🤰 for the first time at 39.5 years old.
In so many ways, my yoga journey and my deepening relationship with the divine feminine has prepared me for this rite of passage. At 23, when on paper I would have been more likely to conceive naturally and have a healthy pregnancy and baby, I was overweight, searching frantically for meaning and purpose, and my my body was literally falling apart.
I returned from working in Cairo in December 2009, where I had been working for around 18 months. I moved home with my parents after 5 years of university and living overseas, and to keep myself occupied ran a half marathon and passed my driving test whilst I looked for work. I eventually managed to get a job and enrolled on a masters programme part-time. I thought I was finally on the road to whatever it was that would bring fulfilment. But, it took another ten years at least to realise this wasn't going to come from my work or indeed from anything outside of myself.
Fast forward 15 years to present day me, and I feel like I am so much better prepared for motherhood. Everyone is different,of course. We all walk our own paths. But, for me, 20 years of yoga practice has strengthened not only my body but my mind and my heart too.
I am so much more resilient to the pressures and challenges of life. Im more optimistic and hopeful, more joyful, kinder, more generous, and more compassionate. I still have a long way to go, and I'm far from perfect, and of course, no one is ever completely prepared to become a parent. But, this journey, this spiritual ripening that at least in part required the development of a healthy vessel, a body temple, has provided a holy place for this little one to grow.
She has already participated in hours of physical practice, hours of spiritual ceremony and ritual, mantra,and breathing practice. She has been with me as I've danced and sang, as I've cried and cuddled and laughed all in my devotion to Her.
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